ursulav's avatar

The Old Battleaxe

By ursulav
678 Favourites
Ruby Elfgutter was a famous orcish beauty in her youth, and one of the great heroes of the Battle of Brazenskull, where she killed many of the enemy and bit a knight's hand off, gauntlet and all.* She eventually retired and became the beloved Grandma Ruby to generations of orc children. She always has room on the fridge for a work of crayon art, ** will listen for hours to childish babble, and bakes a mean tadpole crunch cookie.

But when bad stuff goes down and you get those bastard elves sniffing around the borders, Grandma Ruby'll pull the battleaxe down off the wall, plant herself in the mouth of the cave, and heaven help anybody who tries to get to HER grandkids...
Dude, I so wanna be her when I'm old. You rarely see orc women in fantasy, but damnit, orcs have grandmothers too!

Possibly, I'm just really easily amused.

Digital, Painter 7, and while I can't imagine people will respond to an elderly orc with the same enthusiasm as a demonbunny, I'm offering LE jumbo prints, 13 x 19 for $45, as well as the standard size for $10. Drop a note, send an e-mail, makes a great gift for Grandma! (Assuming Grandma has a sense of humor...)

*The hand was mounted on a plaque and hangs in Ruby's kitchen to this day, where she drapes dishtowels on it.

**Being orcs, the art usually consists of such masterpieces as "MoM wIth A sEverD Hed" or "mE aNd SpOt smoOshiNg faIriEs," themes visited and revisited by generations and usually involving a lot of red crayon.
Image size
800x533px 117.63 KB
© 2005 - 2020 ursulav
anonymous's avatar
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oldbattleaxe's avatar
I'm an old granny and love gaming. I go by old battleaxe. This image would be perfect to use as my avatar. Is that ok?
Torbk's avatar
Orcs don't get to grow that old unless they know how to wield their weapons, and she looks mighty old. Makes me wonder exactly how good she is with that axe?
coyotepack's avatar
Oh, some one is going to get wrecked!
Just look at the fury in those eyes!
PeterHasaBattleAxe's avatar
I bet you wish your axe was as cool as mine!
Raaaaaawr~ :3
Tuima11's avatar
It's the pearls, man. And the little skull beads on her shawl…
I love your sense of humor forever. 
Yishana8's avatar
I'd like to be her when I'm old, too! Love here glasses!
Rjalker's avatar
I'm not sure why but this is entirely fantastic. I would love for her to be my grandma :)
ForestDwellerHouses's avatar
I dated her years ago!
IRAtheIV's avatar
she looks like a pratchett character
NevaSirenda's avatar
I especially like the little fairy skull beads on the shawl... I need to get some of those for the Goth crochet vampire choker pattern I just came up with.
trooper202's avatar
Yeah great idea, very fun
Blackbeard9's avatar
Awesome, looks just like my mother-in-law. Rich
chaoswolf1982's avatar
man, how could you NOT love this?
bigeyeddragyn's avatar
What a lovable orc grandma! I love this picture as well as the story that goes along with it. Her mouth is my favorite part as well as the other awesome facial features and the details of her arm. This character is just too awesome!
Ahyicodae's avatar
OMG, this is made of so much win! XD Awesome! I :heart: it! Perfect picture and perfect description.
draco-datura's avatar
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
I love her! I love your idea! A love your comment!I love the picture!
Great! :nod:
pixity-mish's avatar
This is awesome :D Makes me kind of wish she was a playable character on World of Warcraft :3
GlyphBellchime's avatar
Title Appropriate! Really well done and cool to look at. I may buy a print after my allowance gets in... I love it.

You piss this gal off, you lose body parts!
dormant374's avatar
I think I know her. She rules.
Bortbyting's avatar
Think it's all been said before.. so... Just love it and keep up the great work! Love your sense of humor!
apeman505's avatar
Heeheehee, your stuff is so cool! I love reading all your notes on each piece, you have a great sense of humor. :)
MikeErty's avatar
thats one repugnant orc lol, nice design.
anonymous's avatar
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