ursulav's avatar

St. Ungo the Well-Endowed

By ursulav
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St. Ungo the Well-Endowed is possibly unique in the history of hagiography, in that he was beatified based on the testimony of eighty-six different women,* who all claimed that yes, definitely, miraculous, hoo boy, you have NO idea, seriously, without ever saying exactly what the miracle in question had been.

This has baffled researchers for centuries.

Today St. Ungo is the patron of single women and, apparently demonstrating the cryptic and arbitrary nature of sainthood, bratwurst.

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*cough* Could NOT resist. (Hey, just 'cos they're saints doesn't mean I can't have a little fun with 'em...) St. Ungo here is based on the Cape Ground Squirrel, a species with...um...endowments that can reach up to 42% of their total body length. (Say it with me, people! "Daaaaamn....")

6 x 9ish, original is for sale, prints available for $10 plus shipping. All four saints--Ungo, Mellivora, Wombus, and Barnaby--are available as a set for $28 plus shipping. Send a note or visit [link] for details!




*Ranging in age from eighteen to sixty-three, and including two nuns and a duchess. St. Ungo apparently believed in a wide-ranging ministry.
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© 2008 - 2020 ursulav
Comments245
anonymous's avatar
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HeWhoAbides's avatar

Someone linked to this on Dumbing of Age.


I'm not mad about the picture, but I am mad about my wasted cup of tea

Ayyyron's avatar
AyyyronHobbyist Filmographer
Lol wow, this is hilarious. 
Tuima11's avatar
BAHAHAHA! Love it!
A question: if I bought the prints, would the commentary be included? Or would I have to make up little plates for each one?
Luckysweep's avatar
I do NOT want to know.
Kallios's avatar
Yeah, I'm saying it with you: "DAAAAAAAMNN!"

I have lol-ed so hard, I think I've filled my quota of laughter for the next two weeks :D
NoDotsPlz's avatar
NoDotsPlzStudent General Artist
Haha! This is great.
Aiatalay's avatar
AiatalayHobbyist General Artist
THIS IS THE PART WHERE I GIGGLE INSANELY.
Taren14's avatar
Taren14Hobbyist Writer
...Wow.
sparkpenguin's avatar
sparkpenguinHobbyist General Artist
HAH! cryptic and arbitrary. hahah!

such clever wording, i really enjoyed this image and the read.
Aubri's avatar
Do I really have to be the one to point out that, in order to be beatified, the miracles have to occur after the saint's death? >_<;
I mean, come on! I'm Protestant, for pete's sake!
oneluckyduck's avatar
Isn't it the miracles happen when they're still alive, they are just dubbed saints after their death?
I mean, how do miracles happen when they're dead?
Unless you wacky Protestants have zombie saints?


(I kid at the last one, I kid!)
Aubri's avatar
In order to be beatified, the church (supposedly) needs proof that the person in question went straight to heaven without stopping at purgatory, meaning he was deemed without sin. The only way to prove that is for said spirit to appear to someone and perform a holy miracle. I believe the requirement is 2 attested miracles.

In practice, the standards are pretty loose and it functions as a sort of posthumous Nobel Peace Prize.
WindScar8's avatar
WindScar8Professional Artisan Crafter
Ok, this made me laugh, but what about us wolves? We need a saint and preferably a funny one cause wolves have a bad habit of taking themselves too seriously,
Draconis-Wyrm's avatar
What about ducks?
Aeslynn676's avatar
"I served the lord and I was BLESSED. If you join me in 'confession', you can be 'blessed' too!"

That is such a televangelist grin if I ever seen one!
DCLeadboot's avatar
DCLeadbootHobbyist Digital Artist
Heh, heh... is this an innuendo? :giggle: I love that cute little grin of his, though!
qwazar's avatar
qwazarHobbyist Photographer
love his smile :)
Symbi0sis's avatar
*giggles* I like him.
PeridotHorntail's avatar
*snickers* A squirrel, no less. Awesome.
Revolos55's avatar
*snort* Man, I almost sprayed my monitor with Pepsi. Hehehe.
Knightraptor's avatar
There is something about his cheesy smile, round belly, and obvious arrow that makes me have a giggle fit when i see him x3
DanD79's avatar
That's not a belly, he's got to put things somewhere.  0:)
anonymous's avatar
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