Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant urrrrrdentMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 2 Deviations 11 Comments 939 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Literature
Old Gloucester Inn
Some people inherit their parents’ money, others get their parents’ entrepreneurial spirit. Me, I got my father’s burden: the Old Gloucester Inn. A tiny island off the coast of Newfoundland isn’t the best spot for a hotel—there’s nothing for tourists here but the opportunity to have their skin blasted raw by the cold salt winds. But I changed that. I made Gloucester island a destination. A place to see.
And how do you build a reliable clientele for an unremarkable two-story inn on a forsaken spit of land that’s only reachable by a ferry on Saturdays? By copying the Stanley of course. Everyone has heard of the Stanley Hotel, it inspired a Stephen King book and has a bunch of ghost stories—people want to stay there, where it feels a little bit dangerous to stay (but really isn't dangerous, of course). So I convinced one of my few repeat customers—a mediocre horror novelist from Albuquerque who needs a little time away from his wife no
:iconurrrrrdent:urrrrrdent
:iconurrrrrdent:urrrrrdent 41 18
Literature
Cats
I
Perhaps I am not truly a "cat person."
Others seem to love them more,
but everywhere I have called home, there have been cats.
A house without one blocking the hot-air vents with its belly
is as much home as an airport terminal.
II
Though I never intend it,
every image of me contains a cat in the background,
minding its own business and ignoring the camera.
Some cosmic force makes my self portraits
echo Edward Gorey's.
III
My cats and I have an arrangement:
they ignore me when I invite them to cuddle
and I ignore their pleading faces when they beg
for that noxious canned food they adore.
This suits neither of us, but negotiations broke down long ago.
IV
Too many times I have returned to the kitchen with a toothpaste box
—a surprisingly effective tool for airlifting spiders out to the yard—
to see the cat's lantern eyes locked on, furry haunches wiggling,
and known that the pretty jumping spider
who eats so many mosquitoes and gnats
is doomed.
V
The domestic cat is wiser t
:iconurrrrrdent:urrrrrdent
:iconurrrrrdent:urrrrrdent 5 3

Favourites

Landscape by byrotek Landscape :iconbyrotek:byrotek 284 11 Bea (pokemon sword and shield) by Evomanaphy Bea (pokemon sword and shield) :iconevomanaphy:Evomanaphy 833 31 Phosphophyllite {Houseki no Kuni} Vector by greenmapple17 Phosphophyllite {Houseki no Kuni} Vector :icongreenmapple17:greenmapple17 111 6 7.4.2019 by S3Link 7.4.2019 :icons3link:S3Link 73 0 Random doodle by AreksNyan Random doodle :iconareksnyan:AreksNyan 541 42 Warm-up by Ateliz Warm-up :iconateliz:Ateliz 154 9 Pass of Two Towers by kvacm Pass of Two Towers :iconkvacm:kvacm 183 4 Ilia OC by Quiss Ilia OC :iconquiss:Quiss 164 6 Peaceful Sound by yuumei Peaceful Sound :iconyuumei:yuumei 3,625 73 Someday by Aenami Someday :iconaenami:Aenami 848 33
Mature content
Blooming Love :iconerlenmeyerkat:ErlenmeyerKat 13 21
[UTAU] Tawawa Challenge, failed by Chibikki-ikki [UTAU] Tawawa Challenge, failed :iconchibikki-ikki:Chibikki-ikki 65 4 No one is here anymore by kareido3 No one is here anymore :iconkareido3:kareido3 142 9
00:17
You shall not pass (animation) :iconsapov:SaPov 18 11
Don't let anyone say you can't be an artist. by EtheringtonBrothers Don't let anyone say you can't be an artist. :iconetheringtonbrothers:EtheringtonBrothers 306 17 Speedpainting 07052019 by SylviaRitter Speedpainting 07052019 :iconsylviaritter:SylviaRitter 233 6

Activity


Some people inherit their parents’ money, others get their parents’ entrepreneurial spirit. Me, I got my father’s burden: the Old Gloucester Inn. A tiny island off the coast of Newfoundland isn’t the best spot for a hotel—there’s nothing for tourists here but the opportunity to have their skin blasted raw by the cold salt winds. But I changed that. I made Gloucester island a destination. A place to see.

And how do you build a reliable clientele for an unremarkable two-story inn on a forsaken spit of land that’s only reachable by a ferry on Saturdays? By copying the Stanley of course. Everyone has heard of the Stanley Hotel, it inspired a Stephen King book and has a bunch of ghost stories—people want to stay there, where it feels a little bit dangerous to stay (but really isn't dangerous, of course). So I convinced one of my few repeat customers—a mediocre horror novelist from Albuquerque who needs a little time away from his wife now and then—to set a book here, and while he wrote I faked some minor… “incidents.” I call them that, but I didn’t have the talent or imagination to simulate anything beyond light poltergeist activity.

My inn started gaining attention, but you know what the news cycle is like these days—spooky noises from the cellar won’t hold anyone’s fascination for long. I didn’t know the first thing about practical effects, and was about to give up when the goat happened along. You see, Gloucester has a small population of goats introduced by some poor sod who thought that the grass growing out of the dunes meant that this land was farmable. The wheat didn’t take, but the goats did. The local kids, being bored on an island with no internet, tie things to the goats, like balloons, party hats, bits of chalk, and the occasional kite. Normally the goats endure it, and eventually nibbled the string that holds the offending item on, but something went very wrong last May. During an unseasonably strong storm, a goat with one too many kites strung to it was blown through a window into one of the second story rooms, where it bled to death on the glass shards. The guest staying in that room had only been out of the room for five minutes to take a call, and returned to find what they thought was the results satanic ritual.

The inn was booked solid for the next two months.

Money flowed into Gloucester for the first time in decades. The ferry began to run every day, we paved the main road, and it looked like Gloucester Island might revitalize on a tourism economy, but since the Old Gloucester Inn was the driving force, I had to keep the ball rolling. Was perpetuating the lie—and sacrificing the occasional goat—really a high price to pay for saving a community? I think not.

But the ferry didn’t just bring tourists, it also brought those damn kids and their dog. They showed up in a VW microbus and began snooping around. They’re onto me I know it, two of them have a little capacity for reasoning and investigation, but the third just drops her glasses all the time. I wrote off scraggly one and the dog as cowards, but they seem to luck their way to discovering things I had hidden; I’m just lucky they found the secret passage rather than my journal, that would have ended things right then and there. I could get away from it, if it weren’t for these meddling kids.

All I can do now is try to scare them off. Chasing them around with scary mask and raised hatchet ought to do nicely. They’re stupid kids, what could possibly go wrong?

Old Gloucester Inn
I don't know if anyone would believe me if I were to say this was supposed to be a serious story when I began writing it, so I'll save my breath.
Loading...
I
Perhaps I am not truly a "cat person."
Others seem to love them more,
but everywhere I have called home, there have been cats.
A house without one blocking the hot-air vents with its belly
is as much home as an airport terminal.

II
Though I never intend it,
every image of me contains a cat in the background,
minding its own business and ignoring the camera.
Some cosmic force makes my self portraits
echo Edward Gorey's.

III
My cats and I have an arrangement:
they ignore me when I invite them to cuddle
and I ignore their pleading faces when they beg
for that noxious canned food they adore.
This suits neither of us, but negotiations broke down long ago.

IV
Too many times I have returned to the kitchen with a toothpaste box
—a surprisingly effective tool for airlifting spiders out to the yard—
to see the cat's lantern eyes locked on, furry haunches wiggling,
and known that the pretty jumping spider
who eats so many mosquitoes and gnats
is doomed.

V
The domestic cat is wiser than the legendary Sphinx,
whose riddles were easily solved by passing heroes.
Rather than telling riddles,
house cats chose to be riddles.
And because theirs is wordless,
it is unsolvable.

VI
Look at a cat and you can see hints of their wild cousins:
the powerful legs of the cheetah,
the sensitive ears of the serval,
the dagger-teeth of the tiger,
All these gifts and what do they do?
Bask in the sun all day in their best baked-potato impression.

VII
I always know what a cat wants from me,
when it isn't food it's to stop
booping their nose and petting their paws.

VIII
There is a recent scientific paper that proved
that cats have properties of both solid and liquid phases of matter.
Seems unnecessary, any cat-owner
who has poured their siamese out of a vase could have told you that.

IX
Not a single cat I've owned has meowed.
One went "maaaa" like a sheep,
another rang "brrrrwip" like a phone,
still another goes "mwap" like I don't even know what,
and the latest just stares at me like a gargoyle.
My story ideas are probably so weird because I've spent my whole life
surrounded by cliche contradicting cats.
Cats
This is an edited version of a poem I wrote for a creative writing class a month or two ago.

I'm more of a prose-person, but this turned out kinda charming so I figure its a good first thing to share with the Internet.
Loading...

Journal

No journal entries yet.

deviantID

urrrrrdent
United States
Writer of strange short stories (and hopefully novels in the near future).
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:icondiabladelasflores:
DiablaDeLasFlores Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for collecting magnolias. :)
Reply
:iconimayl:
IMayl Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2019  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the deviantWATCH!!!  :thecarlton: by capncraka
It means a lot to me!!! Nuu
Have a really wonderful day!!!  Heart by maftie Lovedrunk by LunarBlueWolf Heart by maftie
Reply
:iconjarvuffin:
jarvuffin Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2019
Thank you! by Jeep-Senpai for  Jacksepticeye Eyeball - Chat icon - Pixel art GIF by GEEKsomniac
Reply
:iconmontag451:
montag451 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2019  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for the Watch!Nod Clap Da Vinci Fella (Artists) 
Reply
:icondc-26:
DC-26 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2019
Thank you for watching me!
Reply
:iconsrsmith:
SRSmith Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2019   Writer
Thanks for the ::+devwatch:!
Happy Monday!
:)
Reply
:iconccdriver:
CCDriver Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2019
hey thanks for the watch!
Reply
:icongdeyke:
GDeyke Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2019   Writer
Hey, thank you so much for watching! :D I hope you like what you see.
Reply
:iconpadder:
Padder Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2018  Professional Filmographer
Thanks for watching!
Reply
Add a Comment: