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Prussia: Hey, hey, hey!  It’s Dance Time, I’m Awesome!  The popular singing show for me, und also by me!  Because I am awesome Prussia!  Now let’s get started, shall we?  Today, we’ve got Ukraine and Belarus!  They’re singing… Carrot und a Stick!
Carrot und… a Stick!

Crew Member: Sorry, sir.  They cancelled last minute.

Prussia: They did what?!  Who do they think they are, the White Stripes?!

Ukraine: I am sorry!  My big boobies make my back hurt, so I didn’t think I could perform well!

Belarus: Brother Russia, where are you?  Why do you leave me here with double D meets double dumb!?  Hurry up and come out, or I’ll fiiiind youuuu~

Prussia: Hetalia!
Ukraine: Hetalia!
Belarus: Hetalia!

New Yorkers: (commotion for a bit before becoming Pictonians)

America: Ok, dudes, it’s time to kick ass!  As the heroes, we’ll intercept their lame attack with mad skills!

Air Force Pilot: Rodger.

FUEL: 2137(decreasing last digit) LBS
AIRF RAME (rising percentage)
(Rising Number)
VC: b18
RANGE: 102(decreasing last digit)

America: Oh crap!!

Russia: Ahaha!  Now you can see what happens when you play with big unstable guns!
….or maybe not.

China: We will stop them at Red Cliff!—ah… suck ball!!  I knew fortune cookie this morning was full of bad luck!

England: Bastards!  You’re dealing with a former pirate now!

France: What kind of name is “Noppera,” and why do you not express any kind of individuality?  Unfortunately, trying to make me bland is unforgivable, so consider yourselves punished—NOOOOO!!

Germany: We cannot allow them to come anywhere close to us!  Understood?!

German Soldier: Jawohl!

Germany: Here they come…

(Insert lack of Italian resistance here)

Germany: Ah!!

Italy: Germany!  Germany!  I know I say this a lot, but this time I REALLY mean it!!  Please, Germany, help me!!  Help me!  Help me!  Help me!

Italian Army: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Germany Soldier: Germany, we’ve got trouble!  The enemy is attacking!

Germany: Yuahhh!!

Japanese Official: Ah… it sounds like those (?) pranksters in Hawaii.

Japanese Official 2: Oh yeah… I heard of them before.  Some sort of faceless ghost mumbo-jumbo.

Japanese Official 3: Either way, we can’t just leave things how they are, can we?

Japanese Officials: Hm… can we??  Maybe we should continue this matter on another da—

Japan: No!  We haven’t yet decided what to do!

Romano: Whaaaa?!  What the crapola happened here?!  And where is my stupid brother anyway?!

Pictonian Romano: Assholes!

Pictonian Pony: (Neiiigh!)

(Pictonian Pony: Pfff)
Poland: Ah…!  Pony!  I am so glad to finding you!  I look, like, everywhere!  (gulp) Why are you look at me like that with the no eyes?

Pictonian Pony: (Neigh!)

Finland: Ahhhh…. I can’t wait; Christmas is coming!

Pictonian Finland: Ho ho ho!

Greece: I love cats.  Is there something wrong with that?

(White Statue of Liberty)
America: Ah…

(White State Historical Museum)
Russia: Mm…

(White Great Wall)
China: Ah…

(White Big Ben)
England: Ah…

(White Arc De Triomphe)
France: Ah…

(White Cologne Cathedral)
Germany: A…h…

(White Mt. Fuji and Tōkaidō line train)
Japan: Ah..hh…

(White Colosseum)
Italy: Ahh…

• White Stripes: An American rock duo (1997-2011) consisting of Jack and Meg White, who were married for four years (three of them during their band years).  Starting in September 2007, due to Meg’s anxiety problems, they were forced to cancel the remainder of their tour dates that year, including their UK tour.  Jack also had to cancel his scheduled appearance on the MTV Europe Awards in November the following year, also due to health problems.
• Air Force Screen: Don’t know what those mean, but it’s what it said on the screen.  Well, some of it is self-explanatory, but it doesn’t really matter, anyway.
• America’s Planes: F-22 Raptors—single-seat, twin-engine, all weather stealth tactical fighter aircrafts.
• Russia’s big, unstable guns: Pantsir-S1 SPAAG.  It’s anti-aircraft artillery.  SPAAG stands for Self-Propelled Anti-Aircraft Gun.
• China’s ships: PLA (People’s Libertarian Army) Destroyer fleet.  Specifically type 052D destroyers.  Although, destroyers were designed as anti-torpedo boats, but I believe they have anti-aircraft nowadays too.
• Red Cliff: The site of the Battle of Red Cliffs, or the Battle of Chibi.  It took place in the winter of 208 AD, at the end of the Han Dynasty.  I’m not sure if it’s actually a naval base or just a shout-out to the location.  The red characters on the cliff are there in real life, as well.
• Fortune Cookie: Silly China.  Fortune cookies are Californian, not Chinese.  Silly China.
• England’s Helicopter: The Sikorsky CH-124 Sea King, a twin-engine anti-submarine warfare helicopter.  Which by the way is actually Canada’s.
• France’s strange looking tank things: Panhard VBLs (Véhicule Blindé Léger, or light armored vehicle).  They look much more normal in real life.
• Germany’s tanks: Leopard 2a6.  There are lots of variations of these, whether they be newer versions or ones modified for different nations, such as Finland and the Netherlands.
• Jawohl: Yes/Indeed! (German)
• Mujina Pranksters in Hawaii: “On May 19, 1959, Honolulu Advertiser reporter Bob Krauss reported a sighting of a mujina at the Waialae Drive-In Theatre in Kahala. Krauss reported that the witness watched a woman combing her hair in the women's restroom, and when the witness came close enough, the mujina turned, revealing her featureless face. The witness was reported to have been admitted to the hospital for a nervous breakdown.”  Mujina are basically badgers; sometimes it and tanuki can be interchangeable and also mean raccoon-dogs.  In folklore, they do the basic youkai-shapeshifts-to-freak-out-humankind thing.
• We have not yet decided what to do!: It seems that for Japan to do anything, there’s a complicated government system to get through.  Starting with an informal discussion, the final decision must be drafted by deliberation councils.  Then the Prime Minister proposes it, and the legislation finally debates it in the Diet.  If there’s too much opposition, it has to go back to the beginning.  Basically, Japan was in the middle of making it’s laws regarding the situation when disaster struck.
• Crapola: An organic granola company!  Yay!  Oh… that’s not what Romano meant?
• Tōkaidō Main Line: The train connecting Tokyo and Kōbe stations, it’s over 700 miles of track
• Some buildings: Italy’s white flag is on the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore, or the Cathedral of Florence.  When it was started in 1296, they didn’t have the technology to build the dome they wanted, but their response was literally “eh, someone will have done it by the time we get to that part.”  The building holding Japan’s meeting is the National Diet Building, which is home to his legislative branch.
Huh, well, looks like I would have been one of the first unlucky souls, since I live close to New York.

I have perfectly good reasons why I was late with this part!
1. I was playing Touhou
2. ....uh...
But yeah.  I just downloaded the five PC-98 Touhou games, but since the PC-98 was a computer from like the 90s that only came out in Japan, I needed an emulator too.  Then I had to install a new font to fix the mumbo jumbo that was displayed, and then I got the English patches for the first three games.
So far I've played the first three.  Phantasmagoria of Dim.Dream is definitely my favorite so far, but that might be because it's the only one I've completed.  I'm actually pretty good at Story of Eastern Wonderland, but I always die at stage 4.  Highly Responsive to Prayers I just suck at, though I've managed to make it to the final boss on the Hell Route.

Anyway, can you believe that we're only 12 minutes into this movie?
Carrot AND a Stick?  Oh, Prussia...

EDIT: Chriswolvie receives my virtual cookies for helping me with the mujina pranksters.

Part 1
Part 3

Disclaimer: I'm too lazy to be creative today.  I don't own Hetalia, guys.  Or the picture, or the ideas.  I just wrote out the transcript.  But this is one of my favorite Hetalia pictures.
Add a Comment:
chriswolvie Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2014
The pranksters were "mujina", a shape-shifting demon with no face.  From Wikipedia:

On May 19, 1959, Honolulu Advertiser reporter Bob Krauss reported a sighting of a mujina at the Waialae Drive-In Theatre in Kahala. Krauss reported that the witness watched a woman combing her hair in the women's restroom, and when the witness came close enough, the mujina turned, revealing her featureless face. The witness was reported to have been admitted to the hospital for a nervous breakdown.
Unitlost Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014
Late response it late.  But my computer decided working was no longer necessary.
You.  Just thank you.  For your other comment too; I'm just responding in order of part.

Also, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to directly quote your Wikipedia quote, since it seems kind of pointless to look it up myself when you've already explained it ^^
chriswolvie Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014
Not a prob.  Glad I could help. :)
jonwii Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014
Are you going to a gender bender OVA of Hetalia the beautiful world english dub transcript for us?
Unitlost Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014
You're referring to the last extra episode of season 5, right?  Luckily, I have the season 5 English dub DVD, so even though it'll take a while, I will be doing that episode!
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Submitted on
September 27, 2014
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