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Broken

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Never gonna be a Wonderbolt

Poster: The Wonderbolts
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:iconepic-prose: made a cool comment with a backstory and it's just too awesome to just be lost in the comment section:


Broken, they'd told her.

Useless, they have called her.

Rainbow Dash had faced many challenges in her life, from the bullies in flight school not leaving her best friend alone, to becoming the weather coordinator for a small town an hour's flight from Canterlot.

Nothing would ever be as challenging as this, however.

Removing her armored flak vest, Dash opens her locker and puts it away along with her helmet, her boots, and her satchel. Moving a hoof to close the locker's door, she pauses, eyes pulled to the worn and faded poster taped to the inside of it.

Despite it's age, she can still see the stoic faces of the Wonderbolts' looking out at her, their confidant smiles bringing forth one of her own.

She had awoken every day for years to the sight of this poster. Every day, she had seen it and her dream to be counted among their ranks, the ranks of the most experienced, most amazing fliers in all of Equestria
had been born anew. Had become stronger. 

So when the war had started, when Spitfire herself had put out the call to arms for all Pegasi. Dash had not hesitated a moment, never thought for a second that joining their ranks to help combat the growing threat in the North would be anything less than the most amazing idea she had ever had. She had been filled with a feeling of pride so complete that she had sworn she might explode the day she had been given her wings, had been made the leader of a combat aerial patrol group. 

Her smile falters, as in the reflective metal surface of the locker door she spies it. The source of all the scorn, all the hurtful words the other Pegasi tossed at her.

Her prosthetic wing.

It had not been her first mission, it had not even been her tenth mission. It had been her twentieth, when her ego and the confidence that had defined her for almost her entire life, had made her lax.She should have seen it coming, should have seen the signs of the ambush. Perhaps if she had, she'd still have her wing.

And her squad might still be breathing.

She could still hear the yell of her second, a Sergeant who'd been with her since they'd both joined up in Cloudsdale. She could still smell the burnt feathers, the rancid smell of the fireball striking her friend, her wingmate, in the chest. She could still feel the sensation of falling as the pain of her wing caused her vision to swim and turn black around the edges.

The images flash through her mind as she grits her teeth, trying desperately to get the memories to stop playing. She didn't want to see their faces! She didn't want to hear their frantic calls for help over the radio, the answering call of 'five more minutes' causing her stomach to drop more than the fall had. She didn't want to feel the hoof gripping hers as her friend's smile had started to slip as their eyes had closed.

And yet, even as all the images swim to the surface unbidden, causing her to lean against the locker, why can she not remember her friend's final words?

"Command Sergeant?" A voice comes from behind her, causing her wings to snap out, the fiberglass and steel of her prosthetic catching the light and causing the pony who had called over to her to breath sharply.

"Yes, Corporal?" Dash replies, looking over one shoulder, unwilling to admit that she can't fold her prosthetic easily.

"Captain needs to talk to you," the Corporal, a mare, says shakily. Dash chuckles inwardly, as the mare must be knew if she was still gasping at her wounds.

"Tell her I'll be right there," Dash sighs, looking back at her locker. The mare nods, and runs off.

Turning her attention back to the locker, Dash folds her wings, wincing inwardly at the creak her prosthetic makes. She looks one last time at the poster, putting a hoof against it, and smiling.

And, in a whisper that she is sure only she can hear, Dash smiles and says the words she's been telling herself since the firs time they'd called her broken.

"I might be broken, but they've not beaten me yet...."



Now there's even a song =P
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWjiC7…
Image details
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3840x2160px 3.97 MB
Published:
© 2016 - 2021 Underpable
Comments862
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akio-onii's avatar

Tag your art properly. I dont even see a mlp tag

I love this! It is very... touching. My heart can only take so much...

rachelplasma2's avatar

Gorgeous, sad but gorgeous

No....




a step in the right direction.



(in Binary Voxcaster)


{Prepare the prototype wing and have the Biologis Minors make the final preparations.


Soon, we shall gift her with a blessing from the Holy Machine God, and our prayers to the Omnissiah shall speed her recovery!


Prepare the Holy Machine Oils, the surgical tools and the Binary Hymns.


Ave Deus Machina!!}

eyelesspsychopath's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star: Overall
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tg ttuyt t g g gy y gtg ygt uytgggggg tgy yyyytg ytg ytg yg yg g ytg ytg tg ytg ytg ytgyg tg tgygyg g ygtgyt g ytg t yt g ytg gg gtgy tgy tg tg yg yygt yttg tyg ygyt t t tgty ty y y ytgytgu tygytt tg ty ty g y yyty y yyy ytytytytytty gt g gy gt yg gt yt gt yg gty yt ytyg y g gt gyg gy t tty gt gt gt gtg g gg g g g g g g g g 2 1 w q wdgydge dtg etdgq iytg ytg tyuytg ytg
Mirai2012's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star: Overall
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I'm pretty impressed, first time I see this kind of work!

Going through the parts...

Vision: Wow, everything, the composition, the way the light shows, the mental images that gives the written part, all is breathtaking!

Originality: The idea is totally new for me! never thought about a Pony with a prostethic.

Technique: Impressive, almost alive! It feels like MLP but still has the seal of the artist. That feathers are fluffy but broken and the prostetic seems like something a pony really could use!

Impact: the shading an the use of lights gives so much dramatism to this idea! and a slight hope...
Catflail's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
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It's incredibly well done, I like that the colors are well done and slightly saturated rather than the usual vibrant to give it more impact upon the emotion it's conveying. Mostly my only concerns primarily involve shading the right wing seems far too bright even to it's furthest plumage. As well as her left side due to the angle of the light, and the locker door's shading. As well the shadow may need to be redirected towards the right due to the light's angle. Otherwise the shading and form are really good, her general shape and the demeanor of how her mane are all well done. The overall structure of both wings looks fantastic, but as I've said; really my only nitpicking is with the angle of the lighting. Otherwise it's very well done, keep up the good work and this was mostly just some food for thought. Most of the time I have to be really REALLY nitpicky with these kinds of works just to find flaws to help others improve their work.
ChaosWind37's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
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There's an intense amount of work that had been put into this. From each one of Dash's feathers to the shadow that can be scene. The setting is very well done as well, capturing the quarters similarly from the episode "Newbie Dash", however it appears darker, and with more shades. This perfectly shows the gloomy vibe that represents Rainbow Dash's mood right now. She's felt pain, plenty of it, evidenced by the several scars that can be seen on her body. One of the scars even covers one of her Cutie Marks, showing the "Loss of Destiny" concept as well. This art piece is stunning, and it gives the viewer a lot to think about. This may look like a drawing of a small blue pony from afar, but when you truly look deep into this, you'll see the real beauty of this piece.
SkysFeather's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
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This is an amazing drawing. The vision is great although, where is the light source? If there were a window or something that the light were coming from it would make slightly more science. The dull colors help blend in feeling. Your shadow need some slight expanding on the wing part of it. Maybe if you made her tail slightly more furry along with longer hair. The background is amazing in general! But why is there a vest in her locker? If you just touch up the shading it would be better. But for the most part it is amazing! <3 Keep up the good work!
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Wow.
What can I even say about this?
First of all, this is all about detail, there's nothing that I can say that might not have already been said but I'll try.
The first thing to catch my attention is obviously Rainbow Dash, but then I see the Wonderbolt poster on the inside and the deep sense of hopelessness and despair starts to set in.
I mean, wow, her dream was to fly with the Wonderbolts, to be the best, if this is the AU we see in the show, she NEVER got that chance, her dream was completely crushed by the war, in fact, all the universes have this result, no matter what you say Rainbow Dash had her dreams crushed in one way or another.
Powerful emotions, but no! I will not cry! I am a real man!
Anyhow, moving on, I mean so much is said with just that one image and all the detail!
Dash's solemn look conveys this emotion further, you know she's sad, but what is she thinking? Is she angry? Upset? Clearly she's broken over this though, I mean to have your childhood dream and lifelong goal crushed...
Wow.
*coughs*
No, I won't cry!
We can see medals in her locker, a sign of accomplishment, as well as her armor, but the real question is this, why isn't Dash wearing her medals? What if she's ashamed of them? What if she thinks she isn't worthy of them? Is she grieving over the loss of life of her friends or the team?
Do the medals not matter to her since the only thing that mattered to her was her Wonderbolt dream and goal?
And if this were a movie shot I don't think any music would be playing, maybe dark sad music before this reveal, but then it would slowly fade out as the despair and emptiness sets in.
And her wings, excellent detail, that must hurt! And the scars! And the emotion!
*starts to cry*
Damn it!
Anyhow great work, truly this is perfect, I mean this breaks the mold for originality if you've read my other critique! This has no flaws in my eye and "professional" opinion and it has so much fanfiction potential!
Keep up the great work and try not to make me cry next time!
AussieGriffin's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
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So why'd I fave this? The spacing of the elements is perfect, making a cross in the picture. The story elements are indicative of the backstory, yet they don't flat-out explain it. The lighting, shading and shadows are SPECTACULAR! The expression is natural and the subject is well-represented by the pose.
Only problem?
The wounds shouldn't show muscle fiber like that. When the healing takes place, e.g. me slicing the end of my finger off once. (Pasta sauce was still OK.) what happens is that the skin will close over where possible, the layer of fat underneath having less developed skin over it will give a mottled milky white appearance to the skin. IF you can stand that sort of image, Animal Aid Unlimited can give you some pointers on how that looks for fur.
A.G.
FlamingBasil's avatar
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Seeing this form of Rainbow Dash had me, intrigued. I was curious as to how she got her wounds and how they affected her. Seeing her this way actually brought up something important, her dreams being crushed into oblivion, becoming nothing but dreams that could never come true. All because of King Sombra and the Crystal War. Seeing Rainbow in her uniform is the main thing I see for Crystal War Rainbow fan-art, but she has no uniform in this image, allowing vision to her scars that are otherwise hidden. When I first saw this image, the impact it had on me, was like being hit by a truck. It made me realize just how bad not only the Crystal War was, but how even in today's world, war crushes the dreams of those so passionate. It is a very clear image, and as I stated above, she doesn't have the uniform, unlike most other fan-art. I love the technique used here and the impact was very hard. This is why you got five stars for each.
gohlanblack's avatar
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This is a /very/ well done piece. The placement of scars was brilliant - scratching out her CM was an exellent choice. I love the detail, from the 2nd place medal to the "Best Chickun" photo, I love it.

I'd have changed lighting. The shadow is a bit interesting, but I think the light level you have gives too much light to the floor and the lockers to the sides.
I think it'd look better if the wings mirrored each other better. (I love love love the feathers in the right wing!) The colour scheme in the left wing felt a bit too dark, but that's minor.
The mane and tail could have been a bit brighter (not more saturated thought - they grey you added, especially in the tail was great!)
Finally, I felt like the spine's divet was too deep - I think the spine actually protrudes in most horses. It would also bring the style closer to MLP's smooth feel.

All these comments aside, I /loved/ it! (which is why I bothered writing this) <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=":) (Smile)"/> Thanks for the gorgeous artwork you make!! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt=":D" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="366" title=":D (Big Grin)"/>
axolatte's avatar
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This picture is amazing. The shadowing and texture looks realistic, and the background gives it a cold and dreary feel that compliments the story. The wounds make it look like she had been in a war, as said in the story, and the way the prosthetic wing is shown allows you to see the individual blades in each part. I believe that the way you showed how sullen she is really adds to the feel of the piece in the locker room. The feather layering also looks realistic and gives the art texture. All in all, this is a really well made piece of art that not only is an interesting sight, but has a story to go with it.
FriendshipIsFreddys's avatar
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I took a sad beating when looking at this piece, yet after a bit I realized how well put together this piece was. I've seen this episode and I enjoy your remake of Rainbow Dash quite a bit. I loved how well made the wings were and I enjoyed the fact that I can see the Wonder Bolts poster clearly. The detail on the hair and cutie mark are very well made. Just by looking at the picture I can understand what happened. The only thing I have to say is that this picture is very tragic. I enjoyed it otherwise.
Nekderp's avatar
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Nada mal, dejame decirte aunque no me entiendas por que hablas ingles.....que te quedo absolutamente increible, nada mal, quisiera poder dibujar como tu, pusiste exactamente un sentimiento en su cara y en su aspecto que nos hace ver exactamente como se veria Rainbow Dash si perdiera su ala o no pudiera volar nunca jamás.
Te sulistes en verdad, me sorprende....tu tecnica y originalidad fueron asombrosas y la vision es espectacular, se puede ver muy bien cuando agrandamos la imagen para poder visualizar mejor el aspecto del personaje y los detalles la cual le pusiste, y la originalidad es muy buena, claro, cualquiera se hubiera imaginado de "Como seria si rainbow dash perdiera un ala" bueno, la describiste y lograste recrear esa escena.

Espero que te haya gustado la critica. Nos vemos
Underpable's avatar
I don't understand a word :|
Nekderp's avatar
Ladydragoncat's avatar
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A picture is worth a thousand words... And this picture tells a story that I, personally, would love to read.
There is no doubt in my mind how much thought went into the details. The wings (both the natural and the artificial), the scars, her left ear. And I love how the mane and tail are coloured.
I do, however, have a little concern (just a little!) over the light/shadow work. I can see where the artist is going with it. After all, we need to see the Wonderbolts poster, because it was her goal to become a Wonderbolt. And, of course, Rainbow Dash is not happy with how everything turned out, so her mood is "less than bright". I'm just not 100% sure if the light beams are on the correct angle for the shadows, ensuring that the light faces the inside of the locker.
Nevertheless, this is an outstanding work of art. It makes you feel for her, and hope that she will at least be able to fly. I don't think Rainbow Dash is the kind of pony who likes to stay "grounded".
Keep on drawing!
DJIr0nD45h's avatar
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Very well made! I really like this piece!

I feel that this piece is a reflective image of my current situation at hand. All my frustration, my determination, my battle scars, and my decent into a deep shadow of regret. My wounds are rather the same to hers and my deep sorrow makes me feel what I worked for is escaping my grasp. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/f/f…" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="380" title=":( (Sad)"/>

Anyways.... Cool work, just wanted to see something I could relate and vibe to. You have captured it, my friend... and you have skills, I like your style. Lastly, Thank you for allowing me to critique this.
Dizaster-studios's avatar
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overall i was thoroughly impressed by this piece. the colors blend in together, and the dark atmosphere adds to the ambience... i do like the design of the robotic wing, as well as the immense detail you put in rainbow dash's scars and wounds, its so detailed looks like they are still healing, and you just see the muscle under her skin... also great attention to detail when it came to adding her shadow, ive seen many artists do impressive work, but forget the shadows. to sum this up i believe this is a superb piece, and i look forward to more in the future
AngelDevil2013's avatar
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I really liked the digital drawing you made to Rainbow Dash, with the texture of brush, or the somber shadow, background design and especially the robotics wing of Rainbow Dash.

Although, I feel much hurt Rainbow Dash what happened with his wing that was lost.

But...

Despite losing his wing he did not give up, she can go ahead without hindering your life.

Life is not easy for nosotro, including cartoons and anime perosnajes we know.

Well, you have my respect <img class="avatar" width="50" height="50" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/u/n/u…" alt=":iconunderpable:" title="Underpable" />

I hope you to move on in your life.

Attem <img class="avatar" width="50" height="50" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/n/a…" alt=":iconangeldevil2013:" title="AngelDevil2013" />

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