tulzdavampslayer's avatar
Tallulah Mary Elizabeth Grey
16 Watchers8.7K Page Views128 Deviations

Free

F

Free

So I suppose when you told me you loved me, You were too high to mean it. (every single time) And I guess when she told me she understood, She was too drunk to remember. I'm tired of hearing your excuses, I'm tired of getting hurt, I'm tired of all this false hope Clouding my judgement. Now I'm free… to say just how I feel I'm free… to make decisions About me… and you can't change me Not me… No not me… not me… So I suppose when you told her you loved her, You really meant it. (every single time) And I guess when she told you the same back, She believed it was real. I'm tired of watching you fight, I'm tired of hurting when I

Now Look at us

N

Now Look at us

You asked me once if I hated you. You wouldn't give up on it. I told you I didn't, I said I was disappointed. I never told you I was even more disappointed in myself. We were going to be heroes one day. Now look at us. You brought me flowers once. You said it was an accident. I thanked you anyway, and I laughed. I should have hugged you. We were going to be friends forever. Now look at us. You told me you loved me more than once. You only ever said it if you were drunk or high or worse. I told you each time I didn't believe you. I lied. We were going to be special. Now look at us. You were going to see the world once. You w

Words

W

Words

There don't seem to be enough words. Have you ever noticed that? It's so hard. It's so hard just to say one little thing. Or maybe not so little. We're always struggling to fit things into little boxes, one-word definitions that are too small for the idea that we need them for. Love. What kind of love? How strong is it? How long will it last? One word isn't enough. Pain. Heart-wrenching, gut-twisting pain? A stab through your chest? Betrayal too deep to describe? How can one word be enough? Friend. Ally? Acquaintance? This isn't working. Words are too simple. They're too small to fit.

Closure

C

Closure

Time passed. Friendship turned into love. Love turned into regret. Regret turned into hate. Hate turned into satisfaction. The betrayal that once was Too horrendous to live with Now feels so small and childish, The pain you caused: laughable. You were so important, The centre of an all-too-small universe. Now you are nothing, A face in old photographs. Memories have been wiped, Tainted by the broken heart, But this heart has broken before, And it is the better for it. No part of me misses you. The part of me that is afraid to see you Is only afraid of my rage. I'd rather not face the embarrassment Of killing you. She tel

I am

I

I am

I am. I've moved with the Shakers, Danced with the Quakers, Laughed at the Fakers And never left a footprint behind. I've chased children through the forest, Eating all their breadcrumbs, Watched them lose their way, And set them right again. I am the sun and the air, Or the son and the heir. Maybe both. I am nothing in particular. I saw a man on a mountain, I watched him crack stone, I told him not to kill. He didn't understand. I helped Man push his rock up his hill, I helped Woman launch a thousand ships. I was with her when she called for strength on the battlements, Blood on her unsexed hands. Everybody fights me, E

Some Friend

S

Some Friend

I'm feeling so alone right now, Terrified that I'll always be alone, Don't know why I'm so alone, Whenever I'm with you. And you call, and say "I wanna see you", And I say "I'll be there in a while", But when I get there, I call you and you say You got bored, and you've already gone home. I throw myself into your life, Pull you out of the deeper waters, But I know that if I trip and if I fall, You'll be too busy with yourself to realise I'm gone. And you call, and say "I'm sorry", And I say "Don't worry, it's alright". And when I'm ready for the world again, I call you and you say You've already gone home. I almost drowned sav

Emotional Replay

Watching You

W

Watching You

-C G Am F- (You say) Nobody cares that you're crying, Nobody cares that you hide, Nobody cares that you're dying inside, Nobody cares that you've lied, Nobody cares that you're not happy, nobody cares about you at all, no, nobody cares that this could be the end of you, nobody cares but me.   I loved you from the start,   Right back at the beginning,   I saw you from a distance   And wished away your fears.   I'll love you till the end,   Even if it ain't me you're loving,   I'll be watching you,   And caring for you. Nobody sees that you're hurting, Nobody sees that you're lost. Nobody sees that you're falling apa
See all

Truly Sicker Than I

T

Truly Sicker Than I

Child throws the tantrum down, { Hand.. Played..} glitter shell and heartbeat burning thumping through her mind. Close one eye and they're open, close both and she can see them again. In front of her, how fucking painful do you wish to lend yourselves to the downfall of a broken bitch unwanted beauty queen they made and discarded like so many distractions they created before her. Glimmer of hope dying, expiring beneath the heavy handed blame of the sun's final blaze and razorblades turn the sky to red Paranoia creeping and She feels the end is nearing, old bearded smelly Hypocrite dancing with a sign up the street 'The end is here

Spotlight

I am

I

I am

I am. I've moved with the Shakers, Danced with the Quakers, Laughed at the Fakers And never left a footprint behind. I've chased children through the forest, Eating all their breadcrumbs, Watched them lose their way, And set them right again. I am the sun and the air, Or the son and the heir. Maybe both. I am nothing in particular. I saw a man on a mountain, I watched him crack stone, I told him not to kill. He didn't understand. I helped Man push his rock up his hill, I helped Woman launch a thousand ships. I was with her when she called for strength on the battlements, Blood on her unsexed hands. Everybody fights me, E
3Comments

Spotlight

Artist
Badges
My Bio
Current Residence: with my family
Favourite genre of music: music that sounds good. I'll listen to just about anything
Operating System: *sigh* I want my Macbook Pro now, not in 6 months, dammit...
MP3 player of choice: Ipod
Shell of choice: can you hear the sea?
Wallpaper of choice: hmm... flowers would be nice...
Skin of choice: ...please don't remove my skin. That would hurt.
Personal Quote: "Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it!" - Tallulah Bankhead

Favourite Movies
that one, with that guy. there's a complication. but it works out.
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Bob Dylan
Favourite Games
Final Fantasy series / Baldur's Gate II
Favourite Gaming Platform
Playstation
Other Interests
too many to list so I shan't

What is this?

What is this?

Soooo..... hi there.... Been a while, Deviantart. Been....  a long while. It's been a busy year. I've been writing, but also trying to get my head back on straight after years of going round in circles. There are still many circles going round, but I've found a few lines that I've managed to straighten out. Still yet to see whether the lines are going uphill or down, but either way it's a new experience. I'm currently trying to finish a book I've been writing since I was fourteen. Over the past twelve years I've trashed it and started from scratch so many times that it's sometimes hard to imagine it ever being finished. A couple of years

So... um... hi?

So... um... hi?

Yeah. Okay. Two years ago I said I'd post things. Still haven't. Been busy turning them into screenplays. (gosh) have been working again, studying like mad, and am finally heading into the final part of this darn degree. It's not even a hard degree! Blergh. So yes I am still around just not paying attention :P

Not here. Really.

Not here. Really.

so yeah. been over a year. I don't suck at all. I finally started to come out of my shell this year, and I started to, I don't know, act human. I recognised emotions in myself that I hadn't quite been able to understand, and I've started to realise I have some serious problems that I need to work through. The working through bit's causing me some issues, but I'm getting there. Thanks to a fantastic creative writing class and an amazing group of people, I've managed to do a little bit of writing. I'll post as soon as all the assessment's been marked so they don't think I stole from myself. heh. My camera stopped working forever ago, and I

Comments 71

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
TinyQ Traditional Artist
Miss Tulz, where are you? I misses you! :(
what is this... is this... the Internet? I have heard mention of it in the Media.

:P I keep forgetting to actually ... do things...
TinyQ Traditional Artist
Lol!! I know what you mean! What is with this real life business getting in the way of our on-line one? XP
what is with you and me actually talking to each other in the same hour, no mind year?
View all replies
Dude. Sup.

SERIOUSLY
let's do a musical day/night or something.

-moulin rouge
-chicago
-hair
-jesus christ superstar (IF you haven't seen it, which you probably have.. it's awesome..)
-phantom of the opera? (tis a bit long?)
-uh... Grease? loll.
-The Producers
Anyways. lets me know what you got and whatnot or what you want to watch.. these mere thoughts..

I'm out. Woop.
something has to happen.

soon.

I had one of my crazy days today. Spent the whole day sort of staring into nothingness.

I just was reminded of all the shitty things in my life that haven't worked out, and got a little glimpse of what I could have if I had tried harder a long long time ago, possibly also in a galaxy far away.

ouch. wrist hurting too.

I'm incredibly poor.

Do you want to do a movie night next week? or this weekend?
Yo, thanks for the fave on [link]
"Truly sicker Than I". Much appreciated.

Let's HANG soon.