TuesdayNightCompany's avatar
Am I a writer or a "writer"?
110 Watchers21.3K Page Views154 Deviations
E
Elmer's the Fool
“Boom!” Elmer yelled. The teacup shattered across his baseball bat, the bits of bone china plinking into the cabinetry and plopping into the carpet. He staggered, regained his balance, and held out a hand. Mister Brownell slapped the flask into his palm. “To the election!” Elmer said, lifting the flask. “To the election!” the men echoed, although by this point some of them really said, “T’ th’ ‘lecshun!” The men swilled and slurped while Elmer chugged the remains of his whiskey. He threw the flask out of the parlor, knocking his wife’s favorite painting off the wall, and
T
The Post-Breakup Man
Her girlfriends had sent him over as a post-breakup gift. He was perfectly formed, super-dark and mega-handsome. Cherise was vulnerable and the girls knew her too well. She gave in. She ripped away the barriers between them and sank her teeth into him. For a novelty man-shaped bar of chocolate, he was pretty high quality stuff.
I
I'm Not the Monster Here
I licked the blood off the lamppost. It was still hot. The monster was close. I swallowed, pulled my gun, and ran low to the nearby office building. Moonlight stabbed through the overgrown fig tree in the courtyard, illuminating my next clue. A small constellation of blood was on the men’s restroom door. The beast was spraying arterial blood now. I kicked in the door. It screamed, hiding its face and cringing up against the far wall. The white bathroom tiles looked like they’d been smeared in hot cherry sauce and the sink nearest to the monster was dripping a dilute pink. Good as dead already. I centered my gun sight on its head.
F
Finding 3 Gigawatts in the Pleistocene
“Oh. Oh oh oh no.” The rhinoceros could have been an escaped zoo animal, or even illegal prey raised for trophy hunters. Terry could have made sense of that – this was Texas, after all. But the rhino, that very brown rhino, he had fur. It was a woolly rhinoceros. They weren’t in Texas anymore. “Huh,” Laurence said, tipping his hat back to scratch his head. “That’s weird.” “’Weird’, Laurence?” Terry started to shriek, “Weird? This isn’t twelve hours into the past, you brainless scum-sucking excuse for an assistant! This is 12,000 years! We’re suppos
B
Breathing / Space
THE END: We were rising and falling, gently, slowly, our eyes bugging out and our lungs collapsing. My distress signal played out into the vast emptiness around us. Someone would hear it, but I knew no one would answer. THE START: No shuttles in or out. Politicos on Earth talked while the Moon’s oxygen riots became a civil war. My little group of non-partisan arbitrators, Temperance Mediators Inc., preached moderate breathing, working together, and equal oxygen levels for all. But the only thing the Moonies and the Loonies managed to accomplish together was wrecking the aluminum plant so neither of them could control it. No aluminum fo
S
Stalactite Teeth
The old man had a piece of popcorn kernel in his front teeth, a golden-brown slice in the yellow stalactites of his mouth. And it was distracting, it was so distracting, it was maddening, the popcorn kernel in his teeth day after day after day after night after week until his yellow stalactite teeth were chewing the inside of my mind and the popcorn kernel was lodged in my brain. Couldn’t ask him, already tried and he wouldn’t listen but I had to fix it I had to get his withered yellow jaws out of my head, so I snuck into his apartment on my tippy-toes, sneaking with all the sneak I had, and I found his yellow old teeth with the s
T
The Heathen and the Lies
I forgot to take a breath before I was shot. My lungs were empty when I was hit. I could only take short little sips of air – not enough to stave off the oxygen deprivation. I had spots of black bubbling in the corners of my vision and, despite being completely immobile, I was dizzy. The compound he’d shot me with wouldn’t begin to wear off for another hour. I was going to black out, and soon after that, die. “…newest offerings,” a high-pitched voice said, echoing down the corridor. “They have yet to be sanctified, my lord.” Naturally, I didn’t move. Footsteps scratched across the sand-and
T
Twitter
She told us the truth. He was a monster, the kind of soulless scum that hides in the underside of a false kindness. So we all held the monster up and passed him around. We delivered our cuts by the thousands. We celebrated his pain and gloated over the corpse of his life. Later, we found out she had lied. But that was alright. The world knows our power, now. No one is safe.
See all
E
Elmer's the Fool
“Boom!” Elmer yelled. The teacup shattered across his baseball bat, the bits of bone china plinking into the cabinetry and plopping into the carpet. He staggered, regained his balance, and held out a hand. Mister Brownell slapped the flask into his palm. “To the election!” Elmer said, lifting the flask. “To the election!” the men echoed, although by this point some of them really said, “T’ th’ ‘lecshun!” The men swilled and slurped while Elmer chugged the remains of his whiskey. He threw the flask out of the parlor, knocking his wife’s favorite painting off the wall, and
T
The Post-Breakup Man
Her girlfriends had sent him over as a post-breakup gift. He was perfectly formed, super-dark and mega-handsome. Cherise was vulnerable and the girls knew her too well. She gave in. She ripped away the barriers between them and sank her teeth into him. For a novelty man-shaped bar of chocolate, he was pretty high quality stuff.
I
I'm Not the Monster Here
I licked the blood off the lamppost. It was still hot. The monster was close. I swallowed, pulled my gun, and ran low to the nearby office building. Moonlight stabbed through the overgrown fig tree in the courtyard, illuminating my next clue. A small constellation of blood was on the men’s restroom door. The beast was spraying arterial blood now. I kicked in the door. It screamed, hiding its face and cringing up against the far wall. The white bathroom tiles looked like they’d been smeared in hot cherry sauce and the sink nearest to the monster was dripping a dilute pink. Good as dead already. I centered my gun sight on its head.
F
Finding 3 Gigawatts in the Pleistocene
“Oh. Oh oh oh no.” The rhinoceros could have been an escaped zoo animal, or even illegal prey raised for trophy hunters. Terry could have made sense of that – this was Texas, after all. But the rhino, that very brown rhino, he had fur. It was a woolly rhinoceros. They weren’t in Texas anymore. “Huh,” Laurence said, tipping his hat back to scratch his head. “That’s weird.” “’Weird’, Laurence?” Terry started to shriek, “Weird? This isn’t twelve hours into the past, you brainless scum-sucking excuse for an assistant! This is 12,000 years! We’re suppos
B
Breathing / Space
THE END: We were rising and falling, gently, slowly, our eyes bugging out and our lungs collapsing. My distress signal played out into the vast emptiness around us. Someone would hear it, but I knew no one would answer. THE START: No shuttles in or out. Politicos on Earth talked while the Moon’s oxygen riots became a civil war. My little group of non-partisan arbitrators, Temperance Mediators Inc., preached moderate breathing, working together, and equal oxygen levels for all. But the only thing the Moonies and the Loonies managed to accomplish together was wrecking the aluminum plant so neither of them could control it. No aluminum fo
S
Stalactite Teeth
The old man had a piece of popcorn kernel in his front teeth, a golden-brown slice in the yellow stalactites of his mouth. And it was distracting, it was so distracting, it was maddening, the popcorn kernel in his teeth day after day after day after night after week until his yellow stalactite teeth were chewing the inside of my mind and the popcorn kernel was lodged in my brain. Couldn’t ask him, already tried and he wouldn’t listen but I had to fix it I had to get his withered yellow jaws out of my head, so I snuck into his apartment on my tippy-toes, sneaking with all the sneak I had, and I found his yellow old teeth with the s
T
The Heathen and the Lies
I forgot to take a breath before I was shot. My lungs were empty when I was hit. I could only take short little sips of air – not enough to stave off the oxygen deprivation. I had spots of black bubbling in the corners of my vision and, despite being completely immobile, I was dizzy. The compound he’d shot me with wouldn’t begin to wear off for another hour. I was going to black out, and soon after that, die. “…newest offerings,” a high-pitched voice said, echoing down the corridor. “They have yet to be sanctified, my lord.” Naturally, I didn’t move. Footsteps scratched across the sand-and
T
Twitter
She told us the truth. He was a monster, the kind of soulless scum that hides in the underside of a false kindness. So we all held the monster up and passed him around. We delivered our cuts by the thousands. We celebrated his pain and gloated over the corpse of his life. Later, we found out she had lied. But that was alright. The world knows our power, now. No one is safe.

Spotlight

T
The Well Beast and I
 "NO," the beast in the well said. "What do you mean, 'no'?  Don't you know what an ultimatum is?" I shouted down at it. "I really will do it!" "NO," the beast said.  "IS TRICK." "I really don't have to cut you this slack," I yelled.  "I really loved that cat!  Not even the Prior would blame me for taking revenge!" "WAS GOOD," the beast said. "Was...? Wait. Did you just tell me how delicious my pet was?  Did you really, in the name of cruel irony, tell me that my Mr. Snickers was delicious?" "WAS GOOD," the beast confirmed. "Alright, this is fucking happening," I said, getting up onto the lip of the well. &#160
63
68
United States
Deviant for 12 years
Badges
I Heart DeviantArt Gear: Proud supporter of deviantGEAR
Super Albino: Llamas are awesome! (231)
I'm Flashing You
Hello to my new watchers! I've decided to do FFM again because this long-format story is over 70,000 words long and I'd like to set it on fire. This means you'll get 31 stories from me this fine, flaming hot July. I have a tendency to kill important characters. You've been warned. Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I've received my second DD, FFM 2017, 7 - Like Broken Glass! A dramatically different story from my first DD, the humorous and odd The Well Beast and I. dA ain't what it used to be but it's good to hear from people every now and again! And just when I was about to give up fiction writing and take up musical typewriting
Mid-Year, Joy and Fear
The plan is going slightly askew. I'm now so thoroughly stuck on the "Dr. Clinkscale" storyline that I am considering abandoning fiction writing. My comedy is rubbish and my depressive sort-of nihilism is always there to take the story down the path of darkness. Egads, what a mess. I'm over 70,000 words into the damn story. Journalism and blogging were left untouched during the hectic Spring semester. Let's see what I can do about it now. I've got one semester + a single class to finish my degree. I keep running away from the math, but because I'm paying someone real money to tutor me, I don't get to run away for long. I ditched parkour in
Raw
A new year, all fresh and raw. I took time off this past December. Read a book about multi-dimensional mathematics, a few comics, watched a few too many movies. The novelty of having time off has now worn thin and I will now have no real time off, weekends or otherwise, for a few months. And that is okay. Because I just don't get how people can laze about, watching movies or TV and being unproductive, and not contemplate suicide by the end of the week. Dear God. Amusing for a little while but like fingernails to the chalkboard of my soul. The plan: Finish my "Dr. Clinkscale" storyline; release the first arc of episodes; write 8 short sto

Comments109

anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Sign In
Zara-Arletis's avatar
Zara-Arletis|Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for faving :icongrin--plz: 
Reply  ·  
FearlessFibreArts's avatar
FearlessFibreArts|Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you so much for the dev watch. I am honoured!
Reply  ·  
TuesdayNightCompany's avatar
No problem.  That's some badass knitting.
Reply  ·  
FearlessFibreArts's avatar
FearlessFibreArts|Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you so much!
Reply  ·  
SilverInkblot's avatar
Thank you for the devWatch :D
Reply  ·  
YppleJax's avatar
YppleJax|Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favorite on Rescue Missionary! :)
Reply  ·