A new year, a new me!

5 min read

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Hello DeviantArt!

So first off, I wanted to tell everyone that ever stop by my page this:
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to even glance at my page. Thank
you for looking at my cosplay, my art, my ramblings and odd comments. Just...
Thank you... That being said, this is probably going to be a long journal, so I'll
just post a tl;dr at the bottom so you don't have to go through this entire tirade.
If you do, please bare with me as I try to get my thoughts in order, as this is going
to be quite an emotional post.

Over the past three years I've been dealing with a plethora of issues that has
basically forced me to change as a person (luckily for the better). I was diagnosed
with PTSD from prior service, severe chronic depression with frequent thoughts of
suicide, I lost "friends" whom ended up being toxic, I lost family members to
cancer, and I almost fell into a financial hole that I couldn't pull myself out of. It
had gotten so bad that I almost lost the passion for the one thing that I truly
love: Cosplay.

In my cosplay community, I had been told that I was too fat to cosplay, too ugly,
too 'bad' (never figured out that one), and would never amount to anything as a
cosplayer. I was told my skills weren't to par, that it was my fault things went
wrong, that it was my fault that things were broken or didn't come out right,
it was my fault that things weren't perfect. And for that reason, I wasn't allowed
to compete with whom I thought would support me. I was about to quit and
wash my hands of the cosplay community, because if I wasn't good enough, why
even bother?

Because I refused to go down without a fight. I wanted to prove myself one last
time. That was the year that I made this...
NDK Competition 2013 Group - Sakurahime by trinityrenee
I didn't win any awards that year, but that was the year I was told that it was
unfair that I competed in Intermediate, because my skills had far surpassed that
of anyone else in the category, and I should be moved up to Masters. If it wasn't
for my friends who supported me though this time, I probably wouldn't be here
today. Thanks to them, I'm now an award winning cosplayer (Yes, I'm going to
toot my own horn, I have won 5 awards for my cosplay to date.), a cosplay
judge within my community, and the second in command for the cosplay
department for Colorado Anime Fest, a con that just started last year.

My cosplay is what makes me.... well... me. I'm thankful that I now have a group
of friends who support me in the community and that I've been asked to do
great things for this community. I'm thankful that my friends have helped me start
my own cosplay Youtube show. I am thankful that I have the support and love
from everyone close to me in this community. Thank you...

tl;dr - I had a really shitty few years that I tried to end, found my passion again,
and I love all your faces!! DFTBA!!

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