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About Varied / Hobbyist https://tragicfangirl.comFemale/United Kingdom Groups :iconaliens-fans: Aliens-Fans
On dA no one can hear you scream
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Deviant for 15 Years
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This is a little journal entry for everyone that has been a part of my life here on DeviantArt via my artwork or other means. Or even the people that I have never actually spoken too, but I may have impacted in one way or another. I have been a member of DevArt for Fifteen years and over that time I have known a lot of wonderful people. People who have had a positive impact on me and my art; people who have changed the way I see the world and all the glorious things in it. As such, this is a difficult journal for me to write but I have come to this crossroads in my life before and it's time for me to turn the other way.

Art is a precious thing to me. It has taken me through good time and bad times, it's something that I have always returned to and DeviantArt has been my home for it for the longest time - but things are changing (and I don't just mean on dA) and I can finally face this choice, lay down my gratitude and move on. Art is precious as it has allowed me to meet so many wonderful people, in the real world and online, I have literally, thousands of pieces of artwork of my characters stored up in files from other people and you have no idea how grateful that makes me. Every step along the way in my journey, art has been here - be it drawing furries, abstract painting, model painting or fan art. It has been wonderful to share this journey with everyone here on dA and I'll always be thankful for the people that have joined along with my footsteps, be it for the long or short term. 

I remember when I first started drawing, I was under the influence of my friend Sy and he introduced me to VCL. And wow were my eyes opened to this whole world of wonderful furry characters! I was blown away - anthropomorphic art wasn't just Sonic recolours and fan characters. It was this real thing that people drew as obsessively as I did! I discovered some absolutely fantastic artists that impacted my newly budding artist brain in ways that I can't even begin to describe! People whose art I still look at to this day and get that same amazing feeling from - and I still browse VCL looking for 'new' artists (It doesn't happen very often) that I can admire.I'm not a big name, but I know there are people out there that I have had an impact on too and that to me is magical! I feel like it's gone full circle!

My only intention for drawing when I started out was; 'To make someone smile' so I was drawing for anyone and everyone I came across and there was this wonderful feeling of love about it. I wanted to make peoples lives happier somehow, I mean, when we were teens and early twenty-somethings, everyone seemed to be so unhappy and if I could make things just that little bit better by giving them some gift-art (even if it was terrible at the time) then that's what I endeavoured to do! It was my sole mission in life. Give something to someone I treasured and admired to make them happy. 

I can't even begin to tell you how amazing this place and the people on DevArt are too me. dA has had more of an influence on me and my art than my University Degree did! So I wish there was a way that I could give you all great big hug that you could feel it through your screens because everyone here has been so brilliant to me - more or less - and the positives far, far outweigh any negatives that I have encountered here.

I am certainly no art Messiah, but I have had people ask me 'Are you Kizmit from Furcadia?' in the past and people feel joy that they've been able to reconnect with me again - that feels amazing by the way - and I've reached out to people that I have lost contact with in the years I've been here and it's been wonderful to know that I have stuck in their minds when we have found one another again. Having a positive impact on people is a wonderful thing and I encourage everyone to be good to one another more often! It's easy to get swept up in your own life and troubles but it doesn't take much to ask if someone else or your friend is okay either - I wish I'd been more open with people, able to get close to people again in more recent years. I just got burned too many times and kept away - that's my biggest regret. I wish I had been closer to you all.

But everything changes. 
We all change.
We grow.
We all move on.

It's a difficult journal for me to submit because I have written all this positivity and yet the conclusion of it all is that I am leaving DeviantArt.
I don't want to dwell on my reasoning too much as it'll put a huge dampener on what has come before. I'll always have fond, positive memories of my time on here. All I can really say is that I don't have it in my heart to be on here anymore. It's not because of the 'rubbish' or 'porn' on the front page; all art is sacred. It's not because of any one person bullying me or anything daft like that.
I've just grown. I've changed. I would like to move on. 

But, I would like to leave you all with the biggest hug and thank you that I can give you. Your shining lights and kindness have had the most profound impact on me and I shall carry it with me always. You're all wonderful people and I am glad to have shared my artwork with you. I am glad to have made some of you smile with my simple pictures.

But this is it. 
The crossroads.
And good luck with whatever your endeavours are.


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