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By tragiccomedy   |   Watch
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Mature  |  Published: February 25, 2007
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© 2007 - 2019 tragiccomedy
First of 5 final drafts of poems submitted in my first portfolio for Poetry Workshop.
Comments4
anonymous's avatar
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IsMiseKate's avatar
Long live Freakscene.

I like this, it has a good atmosphere, I feel like I'm there.
I like the stream of consciousness likd of flow.
tragiccomedy's avatar
I miss it so much now that I'm back in America! :[
I was always a really big fan of going downstairs to Danascene, too, just cos I liked the music a little better, and the atmosphere was great in both places.

I'm so glad you liked this!
orion-mk3's avatar
I like the rhythm of this piece; the interruptions and changes in speaker seem to mirror the thumping bass beats described in the opening. Incidentally, there's an interesting interplay between the "gay bar upstairs" and the word "fag" for a cigarette. Was that intentional?

The subject matter's a bit beyond my pale, but the craft is excellent. Good job!
tragiccomedy's avatar
The interplay between "gay bar" and "fag" was half intentional... it is a colloquial term, and I thought it would fit in well considering the scenery.

Glad you enjoyed!
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