I miss it so much now that I'm back in America! :[
I was always a really big fan of going downstairs to Danascene, too, just cos I liked the music a little better, and the atmosphere was great in both places.
I like the rhythm of this piece; the interruptions and changes in speaker seem to mirror the thumping bass beats described in the opening. Incidentally, there's an interesting interplay between the "gay bar upstairs" and the word "fag" for a cigarette. Was that intentional?
The subject matter's a bit beyond my pale, but the craft is excellent. Good job!