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Gilded Zinc
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Literature Text
Gilded Zinc
Sitting at the table where your girlfriend
drinks her coffee every morning, you iron out
the lines in your forehead with calloused
fingertips, purse your lips and tell me, Right now,
this is safe, but you’re one of those monumental women.
I remember first grade, how I listened
to metal chiming against metal against
my grandfather’s rough skin as I dumped
my change. I frowned while he sorted,
held the dullest, said, This one is special.
After 1983, they replaced bronze and
copper with zinc, copper-plated—more
beautiful to look at, longer-lasting. You can
hear the difference. He dropped a ’76
and a ’92 onto the kitchen table.
Real copper sings.
Sitting at the table where your girlfriend
drinks her coffee every morning, you iron out
the lines in your forehead with calloused
fingertips, purse your lips and tell me, Right now,
this is safe, but you’re one of those monumental women.
I remember first grade, how I listened
to metal chiming against metal against
my grandfather’s rough skin as I dumped
my change. I frowned while he sorted,
held the dullest, said, This one is special.
After 1983, they replaced bronze and
copper with zinc, copper-plated—more
beautiful to look at, longer-lasting. You can
hear the difference. He dropped a ’76
and a ’92 onto the kitchen table.
Real copper sings.
Last of 5 final drafts submitted in my first portfolio for Poetry Workshop.
© 2007 - 2024 tragiccomedy
Comments4
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I agree..."real copper sings" is a terrific line. Lots of imagry and potential interpretation mixed in with just those three words.
This final piece is back to the modern setting that defined the first two, and retains their strong flow and structure. It takes those strengths and melds it with some fine language and a clear cenral thrust. In many ways, this makes it the most compelling of the five.
I hope your instructor enjoyed your work; I've certainly enjoyed reading them.
This final piece is back to the modern setting that defined the first two, and retains their strong flow and structure. It takes those strengths and melds it with some fine language and a clear cenral thrust. In many ways, this makes it the most compelling of the five.
I hope your instructor enjoyed your work; I've certainly enjoyed reading them.