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The Why is Lyme Disease

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By tracy-Me
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I forgot how to recognize
my self in the mirror,
the pattern of words
scrolling through my head:
all line breaks but no
stanzas. I have seen sun
rising red through heavy
curtains, shielding my eyes
from memories of being
able to sleep. Darkness
is home now, my figure
lying beneath fog - brain
fog, they call it - I'm not
the only one this disease
has warped into excuses
and explanations
that don't make sense.
There is no why. Just
a continuation
of how.
How do I make myself
a future
out of this?

Getting really tired of explaining that the reason I'm sick is because I'm sick. I have a chronic illness that presents in absolutely random and ridiculous ways at unpredictable times, and I shouldn't have to make excuses or constantly explain that I'm sick or how I'm sick or why I'm sick to people.

Also, I'm on day seven of not being able to sleep until after 5am, and I think I'm just going to give up and stay awake until the end of time.
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