12/14/16
|2 min read
toume-i's avatar
By toume-i   |   
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well, part of my treatment plan is to journal, and i really haven't been doing it. at all.

my meds are giving me crazy bad insomnia, even worse than just what the depression itself had been giving me. i keep taking WAY too much melatonin, but it doesn't do shit. nothing is helping. tea before bed? no. mindfulness? nada. i'm so obscenely tired.

my mom found the scissors i've been using to cut; fortunately she neglected to put two and two together to figure out why they were under my pillow in the first place. but not having them just makes me want to cut more, and now i don't have that option, which was helping me stay alive.

i can't stop lying. even about things that don't matter. today i told someone that i ate my twin in the womb. for no reason.

i forgot my birthday today. i was talking about how it was coming up, and this guy in my group asked me when, and i totally blanked. it was disturbing. i feel like i don't know who i am.

every day flies by as a dissociative mess.

i'm so tired.
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