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Revised FAQ durhurrr

Journal Entry: Fri Nov 13, 2009, 9:55 AM
FAQ sheets are an excuse to ignore repetitive questions. :iconretardedplz:

New FAQ, lite version because some people have difficulties grasping the whole idea of reading and seeking information on their own, tl;dr their brain usage is below average.

----

What do I call you?
Whatever suits your fancy.

Are you a Nazi?
Hello basement dwelling internet crusader, I am not a Nazi. There are many more atrocities worse than a mass baking session in the 1940s that turned into a worldwide excuse to play the Jew card.

Always curious, are you pro-life or pro-choice?
Pro-choice all the way.

What do you do?
Illustrator/graphic designer. I'm also studying computer programming.

Where can I read your Chaos comic?
Well you won't find them here, Sherlock. Webcomics are for freeloaders. The book is currently being revamped because the 1st published book tarnished my vision.

What's a Zany?
She is my purple stuffed cat, bought on the 23rd of December 2003 by my wonderful insane younger sister and given to me as a Christmas present. Zany is named for her irregular shaped eyes and disgusting purple colour. She is the epitome of raep and desires male companions, especially fair-haired men.

I also buy her lots of pretty dresses when I'm not collecting stuff for my obscene collections, it's the only time I act like the scum of society.

Photobucket

What's your inspiration?
A lot of things inspire me..even the most tiniest of things and the simplest of events.

Do you have MSN or Yahoo?
MSN, Skype or catch me on IRC. Don't talk to me about your emo problems or ask me to help with your homework.

How long have you been drawing?
Since 2005 when my mi madre made me join an art college.

What do you use to draw?
I use Photoshop CS5, SAI, Copic markers/multiliner pens.

What religion do you follow?
In the name of the Latte, the Barista and the Holy Bean.
Amen, Starbucks.

What does Toten Veloren mean?
Literally = death lost or lost death.
It was a name of a character but I never expected it to become my name on the intrawebs lol. The word Verloren is misspelled on purpose.

If you know the German meaning, please refrain from explaining it to me, I know that you aspire to be a multilingual prodigy of some sort and feel the need to explain it to the whole internet for the sole reason of making your life better, but it doesn't, really. My eyes have gotten sore, thank you.

Why am I not on your watchlist?
SELECT FROM DeviantArt WHERE [watchlist] = ?"

Why did you make art for ___________?
I was high or something.

Do you take commissions?
Yep.

Draw me a birthday gift?
You might need to list down 4000 reasons why I should care, no repeats are allowed.

Do you take requests?
I don't draw for women. You are all women to me.

Can I use elements in your story for my own works and roleplays?
No, why not try something more productive like getting cancer?

Do you do art trades?
No. I'll ask though.

Out of the characters you made, who are your faves?
I don't really know now since I have 200+ of those bastards and I'm a fickle moron.

What kind of tablet do you have?
Cintiq, Wacom, Bamboo.

What books do you read?
A large variety of books I bought from various places. I read any types as long as it's engaging and doesn't hurt my mind. Usually my bookcase is filled with books on crime, law, war history, politics, design, illustration, programming, characters and mathematics.

Are you a drug dealer?
Nope, I sell plants. What are you talking about.

Do you have any collections? Most people do.
I collect a number of jars, tin boxes and stuff with neat packaging designs when I travel. Local toys from other cultures are also a favourite along with books from other countries. I also collect postcards and newspapers

----

If you read everything, BY GOSH YOU DESERVE A STANDING OVATION because it is hard to find people with half a braincell these days.

Well done, here's your free hug:
Photobucket

Add a Comment:
 
:iconthepuzzlegirl:
Thepuzzlegirl Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2010
Fuck. My friend made me a Gaia and the second I logged on I logged out. I agree with you, it's the cesspool of the internet. Gaia still sends me emails and fills my box to the fucking brim. I want it to cease.

This sucks if all these questions are really asked to you on a daily basis, I think I'd have to fucking shoot myself, right in the face.

Free hugs are BAD. My friend slapped a sign like that on my back in a public place. I have boobs and all these men were like "Can I hug you?" Some of them were relatively good looking, but no. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW THESE PEOPLE.
Reply
:iconmemphis05:
memphis05 Featured By Owner May 14, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
BEAR MY CHILD.
Reply
:iconjaeri:
jaeri Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2009
DO WANT FREE HUG
-bites lettuce off (wo)man-
:iconicameplz:

Butbutbut. I just totallieehh loovee being randommmm, almost as muchh as dinosaurrssss and flashingg thunderboltsss because i'm like, just sooo awesome and radddd and stuffff andd what i typee is totalliehh nott hard or annoyingguh to readd && <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Reply
:iconbealzabuth:
Bealzabuth Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2009
Since I've already read this... Several times (Lol, updates galore) I was just skimming for anything new.

"I don't draw for women. You are all women to me."

Kinky. :iconcockmonglerplz:
Reply
:iconmechanikill-toxin:
mechanikill-toxin Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
I don't want a free hug from a guy who wears lettuce as nipple guards... D:
Reply
:iconjennifire:
Jennifire Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
If there was a fee for a hug, it must mean the person is TOO PRETTY FOR YOU, free hugs as we know come from the scum of the Earth and no one loves them, nor accepts hugs from them, unless they are pretty people in disguise.

Erika, you are so talented, my eyeballs have since exploded and gone to Totenheaven. You're CLEVER TOO.

Isn't it awesome when people ask the same questions? BUNCH OF LAZIES, I looked into this stuff long ago. You are wise to have your own FAQ, and you REVISE IT. c: Goodjob Totenwoman.
Reply
:iconparaparano:
ParaParano Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Yay, a free hu -- ohgoodlord.

:iconohshitplz:
Reply
:iconmy-twisted-logic:
my-twisted-logic Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009   Digital Artist
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyy does that guy have lettuce on his chest?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYY?

Good thing I don't eat lettuce.
Reply
:iconcat-walk:
Cat-walk Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009  Student
Wow You kicked ass there.


I couldn't stop reading your answers, hilarious and very true.


:) "Il Starbalengo" lol you bastard and why the last pic, you just had to make my eyes bleed...
Reply
:iconlynelle-blister:
Lynelle-Blister Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I read it, but I think I'll opt out of the free hug.
Some of these questions... well, never mind, they don't surprise me. But they make me :iconfacepalmplz:. Particularly the "Why am I not on your watch list?" question. OTL
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009
They don't surprise you because they've been asked 3483958495849685496876956 times.

lmao the other questions I left out are enough to make you question the limits of human evolution :iconhappytimeplz:
Reply
:iconlynelle-blister:
Lynelle-Blister Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Truth. Though I don't get many questions on-line; mostly just at work. 8D "Do you work here?" (Duh, I'm sitting at the front desk.) "Are you the teacher?" (This is a computer lab, not a classroom.) "Does the copier print in colour?" (We don't have a copier.)

That makes me incredibly curious.
Reply
:iconbaroque321:
baroque321 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009   Traditional Artist
I read the whole thing, does that mean I get a hug... from... that person?

Er, thanks but no thanks. I'll just go and hug my cat.
Reply
:iconrandomperpson1214:
randomperpson1214 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
the free hug picture is priceless XD
Reply
:iconthefuzzyhat:
theFuzzyHat Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
Fuck, I love your FAG-...I mean FAQ'S.

Oh god, these questions...these questions can't be real...can they? D:



And thank you for the picture. :3
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009
LMAO. this FAQ has tons of faggotry.

They are real, the other questions were far more stupider, believe me.
Reply
:icondananew1:
dananew1 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2009   Traditional Artist
NOW I'm curious. Damn.
Reply
:iconrosiana:
Rosiana Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
WHEN DOES CHAOS COME OUT?? WHEN DOES CHAOS COME OUT?? WHEN DOES CHAOS COME OUT?? WHEN DOES CHAOS COME OUT??

omg!! why dont u maek a webcomic!1 then i can go c evuryday after skool and haev soemthin awesum 2 lok at!!!

Pls pls tell me when it comes out!11 my friends and i want to know pls mister pls!1
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009
i don't talk to immigrants.
i only talk to RICH immigrants. >:T
Reply
:iconzemyxaphile:
Zemyxaphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
*twitches*
Omg the hug, I don't want it.

Hurr FAQs make me smile, they give me some answers to things I've wanted to ask, but didn't have the guts or will to. :>>> Such as your Chaos books. I want them, btw. *waves money in your face*

I LIKE READING, I READ ALL OF THIS.
DOES THAT MAKE ME SPESHUL???
Reply
:iconserpentwined:
Serpentwined Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
MAN BUT 2OTTALY LUVZ TO BE RANDOM!! DRAWMYCHARACTERPLZ

that guy at the bottom totally has a boner....
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
I CAN BE RANDUM TOO, WATCH ME USE RAPE AND PIE IN EVURY SENTANCEEEE

Are you sure? :iconcockmonglerplz:
Reply
:iconserpentwined:
Serpentwined Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I HAVE NIGHTMARES OF PIE RAEP SOMTIMES....


and yes Im sure, though it is a very small boner.
Reply
:iconsunsetdeamon:
SunsetDeamon Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
Nnnnoot too sure I want that guy hugging me -- or is it a girl...? .__.
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
Maybe BOTH!??
Reply
:iconsunsetdeamon:
SunsetDeamon Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
Transvestites ftw. lolwhat
Reply
:iconemo-kittisy:
Emo-Kittisy Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
FML, I don't want the fucking hug, go take your lettuce bra and feed it to a turtle, coffee whore.

Wow, a lot less RAEG and all that, good revision.
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
COME ON YOU TEAFGT, THAT LETTUCE IS DELICIOUS~
Reply
:iconhiringparanoia:
HiringParanoia Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
I think I'd rather get a free hug from the naked hobo in Houston. That man is wacked.

And yes, FAQs are an amazing way to avoid answering stupid questions. It's almost kinda nice that I'm too lazy to scan everything, and then explain my characters, because I'm not plagued by stupid people.



And P.S. I totally plan on drawing you a gazillion strawberries someday. Just because.
Reply
:iconserpentwined:
Serpentwined Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I SEEE YOOOOOOU
Reply
:iconhiringparanoia:
HiringParanoia Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
OH GOD NO OH NO WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Reply
:iconserpentwined:
Serpentwined Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
RUN FAG
Reply
:iconhiringparanoia:
HiringParanoia Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
*screams and runs* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaahhhhhhhhh..........................
Reply
:iconschemilix:
Schemilix Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I shall accept this hug. Well, I suppose I shall risk the chance of adding you, madame. If you would receive me.
Reply
:iconarivelle:
Arivelle Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
Yeeeessss, I am now filled with knowlege... and hugs, unfortunately... *sobs* the lettuce, the godsdamn lettuce!
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
I assure you, the lettuce is perfectly safe my dear! :iconlvplz::iconhappytimeplz:
Reply
:iconarivelle:
Arivelle Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
It isn't if it's on that guys manboobs...
Reply
:iconleah-the-red:
Leah-the-Red Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I appreciate the offer on the hug... I'd rather hug the freaky lobster thing with the bell on it's tail. :3
Reply
:iconsobaku-no-sarah:
Sobaku-no-Sarah Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
Dude, I read it. ALL OF IT. It wasn't that hard. *is pompous and full of herself*

Ah, so you a brother in the Church of Starbucks. I am humbled to have met another member.

DERRRRRRRRRRP. If I ever have time I might wanna do an art trade. If that floats your sailboat.
Reply
:iconsnargo:
snargo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009   Digital Artist
Good to know.
Reply
:iconarchbishop01:
Archbishop01 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
reasonable questions with reasonable answers and some are just ffff annoying.

strawberries is awesome
Reply
:iconobnoxiousomnivore:
obnoxiousOMNIVORE Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
Is... Is that... LETTUCE? :iconohshitplz:
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
A VEGETARIAN'S DELIGHT
Reply
:iconbhrae:
Bhrae Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
That man's stole the face of Hexadecimal from Reboot, I am sure of it. And he'd better give it back, too.
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2009
they should fight to the death for it in a pool full of lettuce
Reply
:iconren128:
ren128 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
"and not try hard to be RANDUMBZ AND KEWLLL"

That must have felt like a gunshot in the back of the head for some ffffffffffffffredo we know :iconimhappyplz:
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
FFFFFFFFF but the emo one can be use to shoot you tooo LMAOOOO.

but I agree with the FFFFFFFFFFREDO GUNSHOT. After that fateful 'Hail Mary', poor FFFFFFFREDO never posted a journal ever again. In Memoriam.
Reply
:iconren128:
ren128 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Oh shieet I'll be killed like that faggot of moe greene! DX

But at least I provide crack! º3º
Reply
:iconlogos1959:
Logos1959 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
"You're all women to me" xD

Btw, may I hit you up for a commision on gaia?
Reply
:icontotenveloren:
TotenVeloren Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
Signoras.

Sure, the prices are all on the profile. *u*
Reply
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