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About Photography / Artist Jordan24/Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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this is what happens when we talk
fuck, fuck, fuck-
i love you again.
you are my forbidden fruit,
my original sin.
i cry for you when you walk away,
say i've forgotten you the next day.
a lie, of course,
a lie to myself.
you're up on a pedestal you don't deserve,
a king with a crooked crown.
i could talk to you forever,
but when i talk to you i drown.
how could you be everything
and nothing all the same?
you are not what i need,
you are a lion with a broken leg.
we talk in hushed tones in hallways,
hoping no one walks by
to see you and me.
i am an injured child,
an abused dog,
running back for love
even though you're the one who broke me in the first place.
:icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 2 0
excerpts from my journal
October 13th, 2013
i can't breathe.
i'm suffocating in my own body,
in my own skin.
i try to break the surface but
i can't,
i can't.
i need someone to talk to.
October 15th, 2013
don't stare at me like i've broken your heart.
don't frown like you're upset with me.
don't look at me like you've ever loved me.
the pain in your eyes doesn't belong to me.
i was always yours but you were never mine.
December 3rd, 2013
Everything about your makes me happy
and that's why i'm so sad.
:icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0
lonely little life
all my depression stems from the feelings of being stuck.
stuck in this house,
in this body,
in these relationships,
in this rut.
i could easily change things,
get a driver's license,
get a job,
eat healthy,
talk to new people.
it's as simple as just doing it,
and yet it's as hard as just doing it.
i think maybe it's some fucked up,
ass backwards way of rebelling,
fail because people don't expect me to.
if i took all the aforementioned actions,
i would be a grown up,
i would be independent,
and i'm afraid that if i don't rely on people
for the most basic things,
then they'll leave me.
because i feel like
i don't matter to anyone.
that i am an afterthought in everyone's mind.
i feel alone.
:icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0
get addicted to this
i can't remember a time in my life when i didn't feel lonely,
when i didn't feel like i was alone in the world.
even in the biggest crowd,
even with my closest friends,
i am just me.
and it hurts to think about,
when i think about it.
so i don't.
but sometimes it creeps up on me,
this feeling.
and then i feel suffocated
in my own skin.
i don't know how
to change
:icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0
Patrick Stump by ToSeeAButterfly Patrick Stump :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 1 0 sugar skull girl by ToSeeAButterfly sugar skull girl :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0 Lullaby by ToSeeAButterfly Lullaby :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0 Orange Mermaid by ToSeeAButterfly Orange Mermaid :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0 Skull by ToSeeAButterfly Skull :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0 untitled drawing of a girl by ToSeeAButterfly untitled drawing of a girl :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 1 0 i hate to see your heartbreak by ToSeeAButterfly i hate to see your heartbreak :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0 Velvet by ToSeeAButterfly Velvet :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0 The Art of Keeping Up Disappearances by ToSeeAButterfly The Art of Keeping Up Disappearances :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 2 Glow by ToSeeAButterfly Glow :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0 cheap lights, late nights, and you by ToSeeAButterfly cheap lights, late nights, and you :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0 american psycho by ToSeeAButterfly american psycho :icontoseeabutterfly:ToSeeAButterfly 0 0


botanical malady
if i could walk
these sterling hooves along your chest
and press down, hard,
white peonies would bloom from your windpipe
petals folding over peeled lips,
floral rabies, a disease of botany.
and if you could wrap
your flaxen arms around my ribs,
champagne limbs melting silver,
a garden would burst from my mouth.
:iconbailey--elizabeth:bailey--elizabeth 65 5
Fall Out Boy - Pete Wentz by Tokiiolicious Fall Out Boy - Pete Wentz :icontokiiolicious:Tokiiolicious 85 11
a marriage between modern alchemists at Tiffanys
Remove your wedding ring
& go back inside your cage
(the one on my bed tucked
deep within my fantasy). I
am Rumpelstiltskin's ex-lover twice
removed; I spin clichés into gold &
recycled vows into gold bands that
smother your fingerbone.  The left
hand, the one closest to the heart–
connected through arterial ellipsis–
it clenches the scarecrow ribcage I
once loaned to a farmer's whore. I
pulled out the last straw
like a Jenga block. A tug
or two to remind myself
that I'm not made of tin.
Take off your jewelry & skin
like a size-one stripper. The
imprint etched around your
metacarpus now a hickey &
for the grand finale I shall concoct you
an aphrodisiac fresh from my brewery:
LovePotion #You. I'd offer you a sip if
another tongue had not already coiled
around yours like a wedding ring.
:iconchloroformboy:ChloroformBoy 29 9
undead by bailey--elizabeth undead :iconbailey--elizabeth:bailey--elizabeth 243 12 Being Defined is the Death of Art by sashabrambleshadow Being Defined is the Death of Art :iconsashabrambleshadow:sashabrambleshadow 30 19
my unsigned yearBook is a fan of your clockFace
if you were a facebook page,
i would like you just so
i could unlike you.  i waste
time stuffing wise clocks in
trash cants.  i'd stuff you, if
i could.  unlike you, i waste
clever sentence structure on your
naked bone structure.  i strucked
your punctuation marks & fucked
your replica in my head & sucked
your effigy until i caught cyanosis
im blue.  im lowercase
because im oppressed
by you.  im pressed against
depression.  im pressed to
your pseudo-skin. impressed
you made such an impression
on me.  im pressed for time
(but your stopwatch is in the
garbage disposal, remember?
countdown, reset. stop watch
ing mirrorporn and watch me
watch you) i am your biggest
fan to see; you're my biggest
:iconchloroformboy:ChloroformBoy 30 25
One after another by FromAshesToEden One after another :iconfromashestoeden:FromAshesToEden 21 4 last days of gravity (part_3) by shamanski last days of gravity (part_3) :iconshamanski:shamanski 62 6






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ToSeeAButterfly's Profile Picture
Artist | Photography
United States
Jordan Nelson.

I'm a very nice person.

Current Residence: Florida

"You only hold me up like this 'cause you don't know who I really am."
  • Listening to: New American Classic -Taking Back Sunday
  • Reading: White Oleander -Janet Fitch
  • Drinking: Iced Coffee

instagram: @_jordan_nelson_

Journal History


Add a Comment:
Elrubbertortilla Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013
Cool sheet.:)
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013   Photographer
hater12 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
I'm going to say nice things about you, and maybe you'll write me in return. Maybe I could be the driving force to everything that pours from your wonderfully inspired fingertips. your words draw me in always from the first stanza and keep me hooked to the end. I don't know how many favourites I have in your gallery, but it may be an overwhelming amount because you're tremendously and overwhelmingly talented to the point that I can easily get tired of loving your work, but somehow I always come back. :heart:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013   Photographer
This has been sitting in my inbox for days and days and days. I keep looking at, reading it over and over and over again, trying to find the words to describe the happiness you make me feel. No one makes me feel as special as you do. And really what can I say? Thank you? I love you? You are so sweet? Yes. I could say those things and they would be true, but just because they are true doesn't mean they are enough. You are more talented then I could ever be, when I read your words, I feel your passion. You are simply the best, my darling.
hater12 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
omg, you lie. stop these lies embraced by flattery. :heart: i friggin love you.
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013   Photographer
luff yew more. <3<3<3
(1 Reply)
hater12 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
thanks so much for the fave, hun!
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Photographer
Of course! No problem at all!
LittleWindPhotograph Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the favorite! (if I hadn't already thankedcha!)
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2012   Photographer
you're welcome!
Add a Comment: