Said the witness to Officer Wu, Do you see what I see? In the alley dark, Officer Wu, Do you see what I see? Oh god! Oh god! What the fuck is that? It's face looks just like a cat! It's face looks just like a cat. Said the Officer to the Captain Renard, Did you hear what I hear? Ringing through the streets, Captain Renard, Did you hear what I hear? A howl, a howl ringing through the streets And a sound like the tearing of meat, a sound like the tearing of meat. Said Captain Renard to Detective Nick, "Do you know what I know? About this latest case, Detective Nick, Do you know what I know? A Klau-streich stalking men like sheep-- These folk

A Steam Girl's Lament by tomthefanboy, literature

Literature

A Steam Girl's Lament

(a filk to the tune of "In All My Dreams I Drown") The ship, it swayed, heave ho, heave ho, In the dark and stormy sky, And I held tight to my husband's might As he met my goggled eye. "You haven't a dress," heave ho, he said, "Without a cog or gear." "But, I must steampunk every chance," "There's no Steamcon this year." He said, "Now hush love, here's a shirt." "Freshly washed, without dirt." But I don't have a thing to wear; for all my clothes are brown. My husband groused "I know, I know" "Steampunk's a way of life." "But this dinner's with the Head of Sales" "She wants to meet my wife" His cheek, I kissed, heave ho, heave ho "And for yo

Night Vale High School Scorpions' Fight Song by tomthefanboy, literature

Literature

Night Vale High School Scorpions' Fight Song

Oh Sting, Scorpions, Sting! While with, your mighty claws you cling! Oh Sting, Scorpions, Sting! Whether ball you throw or bat you swing. Emerging from the chasm deep Across the sandy desert creep Their doom you bring in chitinous sling Oh stiii-iii-iiing! Oh Sting, Sting, Sting! Oh Sting, Scorpions, Sting! We merrily reprise and sing. Oh Sting, Scorpions, Sting! Poison scavengers ere they take wing To our home on the wasteland’s edge, We’ll drag them from their lofty ledge, Where all your foes shall crown you king, Oh Sting, Sting, Stiiiiing!

Steampunk Concept Piece by tomthefanboy, literature

Literature

Steampunk Concept Piece

A young moppet is abandoned at a bazaar in a bustling Victorian city. She and her terrier wander about lost and grow cold as night falls. Climbing a lattice into the broken window of a mansion, they huddle in the dusty sheets covering old furniture. The next morning they are discovered by the kindly servants of the household when the Terrier chases and kills a rat. The servants are trying to decide what to do about the girl, one arguing that the Master won't be pleased and the other arguing that the rat had been plaguing the master's experiments for months. As they argue the moppet is intrigued by the word "experiments" and creeps away in the

Ode to a Book in the Fall by tomthefanboy, literature

Literature

Ode to a Book in the Fall

Ode to a Book in the Fall There is a book upon my desk That's never tried to bite It's never flapped its pages or jumped and taken flight The book is not a treasure to the literary crowd It's not been read by teachers Preachers, don't shout its pages loud This quiet book upon my desk is a first edition rare but robbers would not take it If they went creeping there The book may change the world some day In the hands of the right child He may read it and have thoughts take root That make his mind run wild The lifeless book upon my desk It fills me with such fright I love and hate this book the most For it's the one I will n

Guests and Ghosts: The Healer by tomthefanboy, literature

Literature

Guests and Ghosts: The Healer

June "Junebug" Laurel is one of those rare members of Generation X that ended up sharing the mindset of his flower child parents. On a small communal farm outside of Boulder she had little contact with the outside world. They hid away from the nation of Nixon and then took measures to keep their daughter safe from the world of Reagan. Only after the Soviet Union dissolved and the Cold War ended did Junebug really begin to interact with the outside world in any real way. Like the other children of hippies, Junebug was taught about mother earth and the harmony of nature. However the founders of the co-op, her parents included, had shared a l

Guests and Ghosts:The Magician by tomthefanboy, literature

Literature

Guests and Ghosts:The Magician

Kara Sparks started her career on stage at the age of ten, assisting her 12 year old brother in a talent show. From that day forward she couldn't pull herself away from the stage. Through high school she studied the art of prestidigitation and showmanship. Her natural beauty certainly helped her career, but you need more than a pretty face to make it in magic. She was waitressing in Atlantic City two years out of High School when she caught the eye of an old vaudeville performer who was heckling the magician on stage. The old man was shouting the magician's secrets and before security dragged him out, even ruined a card trick by stom

Guests and Ghosts:TheMercenary by tomthefanboy, literature

Literature

Guests and Ghosts:TheMercenary

Calvin grew up in the street. Sometimes on it, depending on how much his daddy had stolen relative to how much he drank. His parents were both part of a gang in the south side projects. A small group from the same block that had unknowingly been part of the same test group during the 60s. A government R&D team had come in under the guise of a Funds Management team and had added a special "filtration system" to the building that the future gang members grew up in. The government abandoned the project after 5 years and swept all evidence of it under the rug. 20% of the subjects were effected by the treatment, but only 3% showed any benefit. Th

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