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Pocahontas BADASS

By Tohad
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FRENCH : Elle aime la nature et n'apprécie pas qu'on maltraite sa forêt, non ce n'est pas Poison Ivy mais Pocahontas.
En arrivant sur le continent américain, John Smith pensait enfin avoir trouvé l'endroit idéal où il pourrait fumer son calumet tranquille. Mais les autochtones menés par Pocahontas n'apprécient pas vraiment que les nouveaux occupants mettent les pieds sur leur territoire de la même façon qu'ils le feraient sur un paillasson.
A cause d'une indigestion de popcorn, John Smith ne pu remonter à temps sur son bateau et fut capturé par Pocahontas et sa tribu de hippies. La fin de l'histoire est moins tragique qu'on ne pourrait le croire car John Smith a enfin su prouver son utilité aux indiens en leur servant de tête à coiffer.

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ENGLISH : She loves nature and does not like that mistreats her forest, no it is not Poison Ivy but Pocahontas.
Arriving in America, John Smith thought he had finally found the perfect place where he could smoke his pipe quiet. But indigenous led by Pocahontas do not really like the new occupants set foot on their territory in the same way they would on a doormat.
Because of indigestion popcorn, John Smith could not go back in time on his boat and was captured by Pocahontas and her tribe of hippies. The end of the story is less dramatic than one might think because John Smith serving
styling head to the tribe.

ENGLISH : He has gray hair and loves gypsy, no it is not Serge Gainsbourg but Frollo captivated by the beautiful Esmeralda.
Accustomed to flee on the roofs of paris after libidinous assaults from the hunchback of Notre Dame, Esmeralda was noticed and hired by a secret order fighting against sexual harassment. Esmeralda now regularly mission is to quietly disappear the biggests perverts in the capital such as Dominique Strauss Khan. The final target is obviously Claude Frollo, the archdeacon with sticky hands.

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Previous badass cartoons :

Esmeralda Badass by Tohad Life of Calvin by Tohad Spirited Away BADASS by Tohad The island by Tohad Come as you are by Tohad Mario Kart BADASS by Tohad
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© 2015 - 2021 Tohad
Comments90
anonymous's avatar
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JRBeeler's avatar

What does she do with John Rolfe in this timeline?

evanzu25's avatar
Native maybe gonna like this kinda representation
liamrev1's avatar
If you want to do do more of your badass series may I suggest lilo and stitch
Cartoonicus's avatar

Correct me if I'm a total idiot but I'm pretty sure the East Coast Indians never scalped anybody.

Oldmeme2012's avatar

There's many history that's may overload my brain. Through i'm not sure if these Indians scalp someone head; if you have some information to prove that Indian aren't brutal

FullBoyle's avatar
How Pocahontas should have ended?
YoshiFan2017's avatar
TurnbLittle Nutbrown Hare and Little Field Mouse
Hawkeye752's avatar
Now this is more believable!!
carlosisaboss24's avatar
Is this supposed to be something like the green inferno or cannibal holocaust?
DunkleMaterie's avatar
Badass? More like Psycho! :D

Psychohontas ^^
TopazWaffle's avatar
This is nice! ; P
MasterChica1987's avatar
Have you seen Moana?

You should make Maui look like Kratos from God of War... just a suggestion XD
Curse-Never-Dying199's avatar
He did do a Maori war dance so he could be more like that
GODzillaGSPB's avatar
Don't know why nobody ever mentioned it, but the english description is present twice and the second one is from your Esmeralda piece. ^^
Shellquake's avatar
Now she really is a savage.
LAWI360's avatar
lol the gif cracked me up
r4shka's avatar
Honnêtement, avec ce qui est arrivé dans la VRAIE histoire de Pocahontas, ce con méritait de se faire scalper. ;P
AzalieFinrandi's avatar
Now, that's a Disney retelling I could live with.

Pocahontas there deserves her own revenge spaguetti western franchise. I love how frightened looks Smith. Perf!
Nikobss's avatar
Despicable Me BADASS
or
Minions BADASS
Please

nikobss.deviantart.com/art/m-5…
ihaveyoursealab's avatar
John and his people taught her well. *Historical accuracy: the natives only scalped in retaliation after the settlers introduced the practice*
anonymous's avatar
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