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Neighbors of Chaos 03 English

By Tohad
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Hello, here is the English version of my comic "neighbors of chaos."
The translation was made by my friend Danielle Stonehirsh, and I thank her very much for her help ! She's also an author, I am so completely confident about the translation.
I am glad that the English can finally read the first pages, the following happen very soon in the week. I look forward to your first comment!
You can read the pages in order here: [link]

If you enjoy the comics, please take a look on facebook! : [link]

Sorry for my poor english :p
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© 2010 - 2021 Tohad
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ASHoffman's avatar
Evia can control the weather!!!
Tohad's avatar
Lol, no you're wrong :D
Dieman's avatar
Translation on this page is kind of... not so good. But so far it's been entertaining.
Tohad's avatar
Thank you for your comment Dieman. How to improve the current translation?
Dieman's avatar
Well, two things come to mind immediately.

3rd panel: She should really say something more along the lines of "... a fruit salad is invading my room", because... well, it just seems out of place to mention the floor. People are more concerned about their rooms as a whole than the floor alone. Perhaps that's just my own personal feelings on it though, but if it was me, I'd say "room". Personally, I would have gone with "My room is being bombarded with fruit salad", though.

5th panel: For looking angry she certainly uses restrained language. I don't mean like she should be swearing, but saying "hey there" instead of "HEY!!" kind of dilutes it, and saying "some of us are trying to work" doesn't really seem like something that a person who wasn't working and who is pissed off would say. But the reason that stuff doesn't fit is because she says "You guys are totally crazy..." right after, which just doesn't seem to fit in terms of conversation flow. Something like "HEY!! You done screwing around?! You punks are getting apple all over my room!" might work a little better.

There's other stuff but... well, I'm growing kind of weary of typing, to be honest. Good luck with the remainder of your story.
eydii's avatar
Woow I love that girl character who talks on phone...
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