I try my best to answer all comments, but sometimes I miss them! If it's urgent, feel free to send me a note. If not, feel free to comment again, and I'll try my best to get back to you!
Tofu, Do you currently live in a rental in California? If so, aren't the rental prices they're crazy? I'm here in Alabama attempting to juggle certain jobs (people clear don't even get back to you and follow up with you on whether you were rejected from the job even if you were one of the few people who signed up. Heck, They just don't respond If you get did get the job!... It's the strangest thing. They're slow as heck here. Even slower than usual. Slowness is their middle name, and they may not even know it...) while attempting to afford my doctorate... But I didn't realize I would hit this issue so hard: there are not as many decent rental options around here? They're really beat up houses around here... It does cost less here. But then you go up north and then you can't even afford them. The issue with beat up apartments can exist in any state. I just wonder if the amount of money that you make in proportion to what you pay for rent, if you pay for rent or if some of your friends or your family pay for rent/mortgage, Is stable? Like you can actually save up money instead of just make ends meet and not be ready to have an emergency fund that builds over time? I'm looking for stability here, and things aren't feeling very stable.
Oh man...DA's text box deleted the top of my comment... If I can remember what I said:
Update: I finally got out of the cursed rental! I told the landlady and gave her notice that I'm going to be looking for another rental because the mobile data signal and Wi-Fi signal at the house isn't conducive to me as a remote worker or remote student, and I have to think about my education first. She told me I'm the most disrespectful person she has ever met, and "I know you didn't get that from your parents. Your parents are respectful people." I don't know why she brought up my parents, because the most interaction she has with them is that they stood in front of her, smile to her, and then went back into the car and told me / texting me later not to rent with that house. She also tried to threaten me out then and there and said "How old are you? From what I understand... Your parents are just paying everything for you anyways. When I was your age, I already had 4 degrees." "You know, the whole neighborhood thinks they're stupid, right?" I just correct her about my parents paying everything for me, and I ask her why the neighbors think I'm stupid if I just walk her dogs for her. She said "They just talk amongst themselves. They think you're stupid!" All I could think is "Boy howdy. It looks like just your opinion is not enough to win this conversation."
So anyways, I'm away from that weird land lady now. Next time, to avoid this, the next time I dread moving somewhere because they attempt to increase rent on me two weeks before I move and forget everything that I say and claim I said something else, I probably shouldn't move there at all. I just feel tricked because they seem like generally good people... But I felt bamboozled, like (Not great at euphemisms) The wool was over my eyes... Until I was stuck there. And even the tenants did not leave. They would tell themselves reasons why this didn't work out the way it did so they have to bear it for now... And I just could not believe it. Because although I leave, for Charlotte and her husband to turn around and blame the other tenants other than me for so many other things because these people will actually listen to them... I think they have a huge misconception about life. And I honestly want them to learn their lesson. But it's not learn when people do not stand up and fight against people like this. The rest of the tenants want to leave just like me. They helped me move as fast as I could. They warn me the day of me moving there that this was a bad place. But they will not leave themselves! People like Bob and Charlotte don't learn much about the world if people don't tell them what the problem is. It's okay if Bob and Charlotte don't listen. The issue is that nobody tells them, nobody leaves, nobody does anything. Nobody stands up to them. I think that in this world, as long as they're older, they are supposed to be promised politeness and people will listen to them. Perhaps they thought that once they become older, that anger they built up as young people who had to respect older people would work. I just don't understand where all this, you're so disrespectful because you're young. What's wrong with your generation? Etc etc comes from. They blame everything on age. They're blind to the fact that no matter what their age is, they themselves have grown to be fickle and thin people because of their values. Don't even fight you if you point out that you know people who are young who are much more mature than some who are much older. They'll say "Are you really saying that age doesn't play a role?" It's not even for them to try to understand the world. It's for them to make excuses for why people are the way they are without seeing everybody as a case by case basis. And there's only so much they can blame other people for what they chose to fight ideology wise, keeping to a narrow-minded blame state so that they can avoid responsibility on why things "Never go our way."
I guess the rule to follow is not put yourself at the expense of somebody who can take advantage of you. There's many things that people could want or need... But that doesn't mean that you have to accept condescending cruelness or brutality and insults through it. And there's my moral. Also, I actually came on to here to share this YouTube video, lol:
TOFU HAVE YOU EVER SEEN WIFI THIS SLOW BEFORE???!!! (IT IS SO SLOW I HAD TO REUPLOAD THAT SCREENSHOT JUST NOW BECAUSE IT FAILED TO UPLOAD) I AM IN THE WORSE NEW RENTAL (CLOSE TO A DOCTORATE I AM INTERESTED IN) THAT I THOUGHT WAS GOING TO BE GOOD WITH LANDLORD DOCTORS THAT NEED HELP WATCHING OVER THEIR RESCUE DOGS IN RETURN FOR DISCOUNTED RENT. 2 WEEKS BEFORE MOVE IN, THEY TRY TO INCREASE RENT ON ME BECAUSE THEY FORGOT TO TELL ME I HAD TO PAY FOR UTILITIES (UTILITIES FOR THEIR GIANT HOUSE WAS AT LEAST $400/MONTH BECAUSE OF WATER, AIR, ETC. THIS IS WHY GIANT HOURS ARE PITS OF MONEY THROWN AROUND BECAUSE OF MAINTEIENCE FOR UNUSED SPACE). I refused and said I would pay a flat rate that is increased by $50 from what they originally had on the ad, and that was it, since I was taking care of THEIR dogs as well and they know I have to be a student and I was a remote worker (they preferred someone who was there at the house a lot so someone can watch their dogs). When I get there, turns out the wifi is SHIT despite them knowing that I will be a remote worker and remote student. I bring this up to them, and they do not say anything. THEN THEY LEAVE TO JACKSONVILLE. On the first day I get there, one of their dogs bites me. And then tries to bite me again a week later after she "does not recognize me." When I bring this up to them, they say "She's a sweet girl. She just needs time to know you. All the other dogs are untrained, pee and poop everywhere, and the landlords are only here at the house maybe once or twice a month, leaving you with dogs that escape all the time because they are imprisoned here. Then I see that THEY HAVE SHOCK COLLARS ON THE DOGS TO SOLVE THE ISSUE, BUT THAT DOES NOT FIX THE ISSUE. Some of the dogs run past the electric fence anyways because they would rather not be stuck at the house forever because turns out NO ONE WALKS THEM. THERE ARE 5 AT LEAST 70 POUND HIGH ENERGY DOGS HERE (AND 1 CAT HERE I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT. IT WAS A STRAY CAT THEY CLAIMED THEY RESCUED BUT ALL THEY DID WAS LOCK IT IN A STORAGE ROOM UPSTAIRS WITH NO COMPANIONSHIP FOR A YEAR) AND THEY GET WALKED MAYBE ONCE A MONTH. And then when I bring up some issues that need to be fixed and how I can help train the dogs, the owners are like "No, we don't want you giving them too many treats. Do you know how expensive treats for 5 dogs is? No, GPS trackers for the dogs cost too much. You must think we're idiots. You don't think we noticed that our German shepherd is fat? We went to 2 vets about it and they said he was FINE. He's not that FAT! Yes, we know he farts all the time, but we spent a lot of money on months of dog food, so he can keep farting. We don't want to switch dog food for him. It's too much trouble to separate his food from the other dogs." (all literally things they have told me, among many other smug things about "my generation" being crazy and unnecessarily lazy and "what is wrong with us" and how Russia is doing the right thing and Covid is a conspiracy (yes, these are doctors), blah blah. I am actually all right with them believing these things (my last rental had people of similar thoughts) BUT it was their easy personal offense to how you can help with their dogs even though they brought you in to help you dogs, their lack of attentiveness (I literally asked them one day while they were here if they wanted to walk with me and the dogs so Sedona (the dog that bit me) could get used to me, and they lashed out at me saying "You know, we're busy. We don't have all the time in the world like you." (I swear to you, that is what they said in the first 3 days I was at the house) that really turned me off! You can have your dumb opinions, but you are stopping someone who clearly knows more about taking care of your dogs than you DO THE JOB THEY WERE BROUGHT IN TO DO. GET THE FUGH OUT OF MY WAY!
These are people who have chosen to overwork themselves and take on more than they can chew, including dogs, who have such attitude when they come back to their own home that is unfinished with construction that they filled with strangers they do not want there to take care of dogs they themselves cannot take care of- and they get angry and make fun of the tenants for being poor, not hardworking, having "mental issues" like "ADHD and ADD," all while the tenants take care of their untrained dogs and maintain the house and do manual labor for them while paying rent! I told all the tenants they have to leave as soon as possible when I realized the truth about the place and they said they are definitely trying to (one of them just finished with a divorce, so she is between situations. But after work, just going back to the house is is like another job because the dogs have pooped and peed everywhere, they ate the trash, they are fighting, etc. And when the dogs finally see people at home, they want to play! Because no one is here, including the owners, for them! But the tenants are too tired to play, leaving the dogs alone downstairs while the tenants live upstairs.
When the landlords leave to Dallas where they work, if the dogs get out and the landlords get texts from the neighbors, the landlords get really angry at the tenants telling them they should have been watching them, but the tenants are like "WE HAVE JOBS", like they blame the people instead of their own dogs who have no one to play with, including their owners! Now that I am here (I was told by the tenants after asking them if they liked it here and if the wifi was good despite it being in the middle of no where, and they said they loved it here, and they never want to leave, and the wifi is fine. I move in, and they say they are miserable here and want to leave as soon as possible and the wifi is terrible), the dogs have imprinted on me because I actually play with them, walk them everyday, note and attempt to remedy rashes and issues, and TRAIN THEM not to poop/pee everywhere, steal the trash, fight with each other (yes, these dogs have scars from each other because no one is here to be a middle man for when the other dogs steal their food/supplies. It was like lord of the flies here for the dogs because these owners just "rescue" them and then leave them here in this house to pee/poop or out in their yard imprisoned by an electric fence), etc. But I do not want to stay and perpetuate the clear issue I see: they lied to me about the help I would get here (almost no one is here. Turns out one of the tenants is in jail, and will not be coming home anytime soon to be with the dogs. And the tenants said the landlords told them not to tell me because "She might want to leave." I AM WAY PAST THAT. People in jail are not even that bad to me. In my last rental, the landlord bailed the live in handyman out of jail 3 times for DUI. The handyman had to tell my last landlord not to bail him out the 4th time because "I have to learn my lesson." The issue was that the current landlords told the tenants to lie to me to keep me. Which means you would rather have me here on a false pretense than reality!), are in denial about how bad the wifi is making remote school and work a nightmare (I had to drive 1.5 hours back to my town just to do in person work because there was a 4-6 sec lag time before anyone in a google meets could hear what I said), attempted to increase rent weeks before I moved in, are obnoxious about ways to train and improve their animals (you brought people in here to help, but you reject it and blame the people taking care of them when the animals act up. When they are here at the house, the times they spend time with their animals is when they are boasting them to the neighbors or people who come over), and they are ungrateful!!!! They should rehome these dogs stat, because these dogs would be happier with other people than bored here! EVEN MY DOG IS BORED HEREEEEEEE
AND THERE IS MY RANT THAT STARTED WITH THE WIFI. SWEAR, IF I LOSE THIS COMMENT BECAUSE OF THE CRAPPY WIFI-
Also, yes, I am looking at other rentals. Aurghhhhhh how have you been faring? Better than me who is always living MY ADVENTURES?!
Okay, tofu. Give me some advice. I'm starting to really despise my boss, even more than usual. Really want to quit. But I love my students that I tutor for my tutoring job. You still ended up quitting your job, but how the heck did you survive while despising Your higher ups? I don't like to be in denial. I straight up think she sort of sucks and I want to avoid her. Are there tips on avoidance? Just me asking this advice makes me just want to quit. I really don't want to not be myself.
Ngl, it's a struggle. Since yours is a tutoring job, maybe you can....snipe the students? I'm not sure if there's multiple tutoring programs or not on your campus. But how often do you have to deal with your boss?
In my scenario, I had more issues with the entire company and how the chain of command went downwards rather than dealing with my boss. I was fine with him on a personal level, but it got hard to deal with him professionally. (We're actually still good friends now.)
I'd say if you constantly have to deal with your boss, then it's probably just better for you to quit and find something else to fill your time with. By constantly, it's more like you have to consult with them regularly in order to get instructions for your next task kind of deal. But if it's more like, you get to do your own work and they're just being an annoyance to you when you do have to deal with them, stone-cold professionalism is the way I would go about it. Just focus on the tasks you have, and whatever politics/bullshit they throw your way, it shouldn't be your problem. (Unless you're actually getting paid to deal with those...)