"Quit your complaining."
"Life's not fair."
"Suck it up."
Ever hear these things? I grew up with the first one, and a bit of the second, in the literal sense. The third was always been there too, but less directly. As an adolescent I was even offered an incentives program for not complaining. If I managed not to complain for a certain amount of time, I got a prize.
Fast forward to twenty years old. I had a job I hated, a personal life spiralling towards breakdown, and... hey look, I'm complaining! Or am I? At the job, of course everyone complained in some way, we all hated it. What I didn't say, however, were things like, "My back hurts so badly it literally burns." Or, "Yesterday I got home from work, dumped my stuff by the door, and almost made it to my tiny dining room before collapsing on the floor and sobbing into it for half an hour."
I was raised to not complain. This was drilled into me over and over until I literally couldn't speak out about the things that mattered any