Life Lessons From Bella Swann
1. You should always address your parents by their first names.
2. Pay no attention to the kids at school. No matter how friendly they are, no matter how many times the girls invite you to sit with them at lunch and team up with them on the weekends, no matter how many times the boys ask you out, you know you're stupid, ugly, clumsy, and totally worthless.
3. Your problems are everybody's problems. Whatever affects you should affect them in every aspect.
4. With boyfriends, it's all about physical looks. It doesn't matter if they're pushy, meddlesome, pretentious, self-absorbed, and dictatorial, as long as they're insanely attractive.