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A few days from today, the history books show an entry. An entry of mystery, and portent, as the great powers came down upon the Earth, and, in accordance with the wishes of the mighty King Kong, granted the world a boon. That boon was you. And lo, let it be said to all that you are to be wished a Happy Birthday upon that day, with the most excellent and amazing of cakes to partake in! 
History records that, just days from now, a tremendous upheaval took place as the ground cracked and broke apart, tornadoes spun counter to their nature, and even Godzilla bowed as you appeared upon the Earth to grace us with your art. And so it is wished upon you to have a Happy Birthday on that day....and a most excellent cake.
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