I know, I'll be posting more actual art soon, but this is something I feel I've been wanting to speak up about for quite some time now.
Although I haven't been as active lately, I've been noticing a disturbing trend both on here and on Tumblr of tickle-lovers (or anyone with any kind of kink, really) being made to feel very
uncomfortable, and sometimes outright violated, by people who have no regard whatsoever for their personal boundaries; People who try to sweet-talk or guilt them into a roleplay, or jump right into being flirtatious or raunchy, and end up making someone feel like they're trying to get physical with them by using so-called "harmless" asterisk cues ( you know, like *squeezes your sides*
or *pokes your feet*
). I have seen this affect people with anxiety, people who are recovering from terrible relationships, asexuals who have no interest
in making tickling into something more sexual, people who are minors
, and a few of my own friends. I have experienced it myself more times than I can count, despite my repetitive reminding people that I really don't appreciate it.
And while I don't put it this bluntly in the stamp, I'm just going to say it here:
THIS SHIT IS NOT OKAY.
In my experience, the reason a lot of fetish artists, especially tickle-artists, draw or write fetish content is because they feel alienated, or even embarrassed
about their kink, so they wouldn't dare share it with people in person out of fear of judgment, or fear of some selfish, manipulative pervert trying to take advantage of it. But, they need to express it in some way or another, and have found respite in a wonderfully patient and supportive community which they feel comfortable sharing their work with. And hey, maybe they do end up finding someone they love that accepts their fetish too!
But, see, the people who respond to their work by basically deciding it's okay to see the fetish
before seeing the person... They are telling the artist/writer they are merely a means to an end. They are taking away that feeling of security, trust and respect from someone who has very likely struggled to feel safe and accepted, by trying to push past or outright ignore boundaries
just to indulge in THEIR
enjoy this too! So obviously it's okay to tease them about it!!"
NO-ONE who claims they're pulling any of this crap because they know a fetishist also gets enjoyment out of it, without even stopping to think that maybe someone's not interested
in experiencing what is essentially the internet version of groping or cat-calling,
is thinking about anyone but themselves or actually taking said artist's emotional well-being into consideration.
"But this person is very open about what they enjoy & what turns them on! They're obviously asking for the attention!"
This is just as bad as slut-shaming and victim blaming. Don't fucking do it.
Sure, kink artists are being open to their audience
. Once again, they are in a community
that knows how to talk about what they enjoy as general discussion, as a way of sharing creative ideas, as a way of venting and feeling more content with themselves
for having their fetish, and as a way of ensuring other people that they have every reason to feel loved and accepted. But, see, unless they explicitly give permission
for someone to suggest something sexual or intimate with them, you do not have the right
to jump in and basically back them into a corner for you to try and persuade them to enact their (or your
Basically, when it comes down to it, ask permission!
Keep the vulgar comments to yourself! And know when to quit while you’re ahead. You are NOT being sexy, coy, fun, or attractive in any way
by more or less deciding you
know what will turn someone on when you don't even take the time to truly
know the person first.
Feel free to use this in journals, on your profile, etc.
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