It was the subtle rustling of sheets that woke you from you slumber. Eyes, still tired, blinked open wearily, your body cringing against the cold air that crept underneath the blankets.
"Erwin...." You mumbled his name, still half asleep as the muscular blond ran his fingers through tangled hair, eyes blinking away fatigue.
"Erwin..." You say again, more of a complaint as the bed is cold and lonely without him.
With an exaggerated yawn, you manage to rise, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you stumble towards the figure who stood not far from the warmth and comfort of the soft mattress.
Arms laden with the exhaustion that early morning brings wrapped around his shoulders. You shivered, the brisk November air biting at your skin relentlessly.
"Erwin..." You yawn, leaning against his muscular chest. "There's nothing to do today," you reminded gently.
After 90% of the Titan population had been killed, along with the only two titans who could reproduce, work had been slow. Most of the veterans were allowed days for relaxation, days which Erwin had made a habit of forgetting about.
"Back to bed," you coaxed softly, long, elegant fingers brushing a strand of blond hair out of his eyes as you led him back to the comfort of the mattress. Your lips curved upward in the slightest smile as strong arms wrap around your waist protectively.
"Are you sure?" He inquired sleepily as the bed springs creaked. You nodded, burying your head in his chest, shrugging the blanket back up over your shoulders.
This was routine nowadays, that you'd join him every night. Being together seemed to ward off the nightmares. Before, you'd wake to the sounds of your own horror-stricken screams ricocheting off the walls, and filling your ears.
The first few nights were better. You'd still wake up with a tearstained face and voice hoarse from your desperate cries. But it was Erwin who would shield you from the nightmares, promising to keep them at bay every night. And if he were to fail, reassuring arms never ceased to calm you.
And in return, you'd comfort him.
Before Erwin received the grafted arm, those were the worst days. You could do nothing to rid him of the phantom pains, to convince him that there'd still be a place for him in the Survey Corps. Or to even persuade the chief that he was worthy of every painstaking attempt to find a matching graft, attempts which took days, even weeks.
The day the perfect match had been discovered was one of the most beautiful moments you could remember. Just like every other day, he'd make a mistake, try to grab something with his right arm instead of his left, and the despondent fog would settle over him again.
But this time was different. This time, fingers managed to curl weakly around the handle of his coffee cup.
You were there, eyes wide in utter disbelief, and the next thing etched into the memory was of your arms around his shoulders, hugging he commander tightly, tears of pure exultation spilling down your cheeks. You raised your head, and looked at Erwin, the softest smile etched into your face. He smiled, and it was as if years of wear disappeared, leaving him looking even younger.
Slowly, tentatively, he raised his right arm, the limb shaking from strain. With a focused intensity, his thumb wiped the tears from your face. This of course only brought more tears streaming down your cheeks, as you buried your face in the commander's chest, heart full to bursting.
It was thinking about things like this that brought you to the same conclusion every time. The only thing you lacked was courage, at least in this situation. But today, would be different. The icy air that seeped through the walls brought with it a sharpening cold, forcing your mind to awaken completely.
"Erwin...?" You muttered, tugging free of his grip gently, fingers brushing the hair from his eyes, a soft smile tugging at your lips.
One of his eyes snapped open, and he fixated his crystal blue gaze on you. "Hmmm..." Was the muttered response. A coiling sensation of anxiety brought a wave of nausea flooding through your stomach, but you set your jaw, determined to say it, to say what was on your mind.
"I think..." You began slowly, heart beating loud enough that you swore he could hear it. A pink blood blush gathered at your cheeks, heightening the nervousness that swam underneath your skin. "Erwin, I think I love you," you managed to say, voice tentative and unsure.
Love was new, love was unexplored, it wasn't logical.
Love was what described the unexplainable emotion that writhed underneath your skin, it explained why hurting him would hurt you too.
But mostly, love was frightening.
And it was fear that froze your body in place as his other eye opened wide, captivating blue orbs glassy in shock.
The color drained from your face at the realization of what you had done, and mentally you scolded yourself again and again.
It came as a surprise when you found yourself clutched against Erwin's chest, and the familiar arms wrapped around your waist had a calming effect. He rested his chin lightly on your head, his mouth upturned in a smile you couldn't see.
When finally his arms relaxed, and he leant back to meet your gaze, your heartbeat had settled down considerably.
"[Name]..." You couldn't move, trapped in place by those beautiful azure eyes.
"I don't think I love you," Erwin murmured, a calloused hand tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
His tone gained intensity, the low baritone heavy with emotion as he continued.
"I know it. I've known it for a long time now."
Your heart was beating fast enough to pound in your ears. Eyes were opened wide as rough lips clasped over yours, gentle and kind
The kiss was less born of desperation than contentment. Slow, easy, and perfect for the situation.
Your eyes began to close, relishing in the moment.
You really did love him, so much it made your heart ache.
And for once, that was enough.
I dont get it, he said he doesn't think he loves her/him but they kiss anyway? Bloody good story though xxxx
To clarify, he said he doesn't "think" he loves her. He "knows" he loves her, meaning that there is no doubt about it. He's known he's loved her for a long time. There is no guesswork.
that moment he said: I don't think I love you... I was like: BISH! And then he was like: I know it... and then I was like: OH OH, NVM. NNNVVVMMM!!!
There should be more Erwin stories ;---; more more more
you made my day with this thank you very much
aww this is gorgeus fic i still cant belive lack of Erwin x Reader inserts are they
Thank you so much gah ;-; but yeah I agree there aren't enough reader x Erwin fics- I plan to make more in the near future.
weeeeeeeeeeeeee. Also i dont know about you but i dont get why is so much hype about Levi"the pigmey" Heichou
for example i realy find Erwin much more handsome and i feel he would be much more plesant to talk to and maybe he would even be quite charming ^^.
Yeah, I don't get why Erwin isn't as popular as Levi...
whell let the all fangirls get that pigmey boy and we all other can enjoy comander handsome(also i admit i ship him with my oc witch i gota post reference sheet)
I'm perfectly okay with that xD