WARNING. This is basically a giant silly ramble over something nobody really cares about, so don't feel inclined to read it TTvTT A giant silly thought-bubble, yeah.
To start, like I said, there's graphs out there showing the progressions of sona's designs of other people, which is what got me on topic. Why have I never made a graph like this myself? My art seems to change a lot and improve, and one thing I've gotten a heck of a lot better at since when I first joined this site was designing. It's practically a default that I should have something like this, so why not?
Well, turns out I really haven't changed my sona(s) much at all. I had Spotty, then I improved her design, and now I also have my Umbreonsona when I got bored of being a simple cat. Three changes total. As it turns out, I really just don't use my sonas as much as I'd think, heck I used Spotty a lot for only a few shoddy animations, and that was 3 years ago. As I remember at that point I think what I was trying to do was mimic the style of peeps on youtube I loved a lot, like splashkittyartist or spottedfire. My sona's name was spottedshadow for goodness sake, though it wasn't because I stole, it was the name I generated on the official Warriorcats site back when I was really into it TTvTT
Past that, I never really drew my sona... at all. Maybe once or twice when I had a silly pun or had no idea what to draw whatsoever, but that was it.
Truth is, I just don't like incorporating myself into my art often, and when I do I'd much prefer represent myself as, well, myself, instead of a design I could use for something different. The more things I've made involving myself in art, the more I've just drawn a semi-chibi human version of myself. Often when I do it's only to get a message across or share a funny experience, I tend to share jokes through my OCs now.
And that's where I've made the turn, I think ;v; I do stuff through my OCs nowadays, not myself. I prefer it way <3 heck, I'm not sure why I have a sona any more at all, they're just designs that get wasted when I could use them as potential OCs with their own personalities and stories. For example my recent Umbreonsona was a design a liked a lot, many people drew art for them in fact, but when I looked at them I always saw them as having a different personality to mine. Cool and collected, no-nonsense, not how I'd represent myself at all. I just wanted an Umbreonsona with 6 legs.
So why don't I like involving myself in my own art, or representing myself as a character? I'm pretty sure it stems from the fact that I don't like to involve myself as a character with my own OCs to begin with. Why? Well, this will probably be a major clue - the first and only sona I ever, EVER used actively like my OCs nowadays, the only one I actually daydreamed about or made stories for... was... a Mary Sue. Yep. We all had one, and the reaction was as expected. Once I found out what I Mary Sue was and figured my persona was one, first I tried to salvage the character, but it wasn't long before I abandoned the character or any memory of them whatsoever, shunned the idea in my mind, and ever since when I've thought of myself interacting with my OCs it's been far too uncomfortable and I just plain don't do it since I don't want the same thing to happen. I mean, it's highly unlikely, since that time I've learned a heck of a lot about designing characters, not just in physical design but personality and backstory and traits and such. But I guess the point is, after learning the hard way, it's just not something that I'd like to dabble in in general, and let's leave it at that TTvTT; Heck, I'd like to say that it was a long time ago, and it definitely feels like it was and kind of is, but heck, it was less than 4 years ago. I remember daydreaming about them when I was first getting into Homestuck. So I guess it's been a while but not really??? Ghh, the important thing is thank god I didn't upload anything here about them. Thank. fucking. god.
So what I'm getting at here I guess is, is there really a point to me having a sona really? When I won't use it? I still heavily associate Spotty with myself, but my Umbreonsona could be used for something much better, which I'd be so much more enthusiastic about. Nowadays I daydream about my fanventure OCs the way I used to daydream about my Mary Sue persona, except, well... intelligently, I guess. Daydreaming about them allows me to give them character development and if I'm ever giving one too much attention then I can focus on another, if they don't seem interesting enough to me then I find a way to make them interesting, if they ever start stepping ever so slightly into Sue territory I give them genuine flaws in order to bring them back. Heck, when I think about it, going through the Mary Sue phase taught me a lot, made a good impact on my life in how I make judgements and decisions creating characters. If you never went through a Mary Sue phase, #1 I'm impressed, and #2 maybe actively searching out badly made characters and Mary Sues would give you great example of what not to do when making characters of your own.
So yeah, this journal was long and pretty useless, but maybe you guys can take something from it. Hey, while we're on topic (and if you managed to hang around long enough to get here thank you btw ;A;) maybe if you guys wanted to share your experiences with me, I'd be very happy to listen ;v; Did you have a Mary Sue phase? How do you use your sonas? Do you have a sona at all or are you like me and you think there wouldn't be much point to have one yourself?
Also, take this cookie. Thank you guys for being so patient with me, haha TTvTT and my silly rants