Published: December 10, 2011
Timmy the Reaper
Created by Tyler Gates
Warning: This written series is overly ridiculous and may cause some readers to go "wtf". Oh, it also has some nasty themes and gore n' stuff too.
(o.o) O, Jenny's a' weet, poor body, Jenny's seldom dry: She draigl't a' her petticoatie, comin thro' the rye!
In the office of Agent RYE, the super-duper computer, LuCy, continues to calculate a list of future Named victims of Timmy the Reaper, using complex algorithmic systems and super-duper knowledge.
RYE snores heavily, fast asleep at his desk while whimpering in his dreams, "Hellin', hellin', hell, hellin', tilly-dilly potatoes, hell
" [(o.o) RYE's Hell Count: 22]
Timmy pushes the doorbell of an appealing, quaintly styled Victorian home, though is slightly startled when an old woman answers the door with a warm smile, "Oh, hello there. Come in, come in I've been expecting you, dear."
Both confused, the Reaper and Scythe proceed to follow the Named into the welcoming ambiance of her home. Directing Timmy to a lovely, cherry wood dining table, the woman gives another gentle smile as she heads to the kitchen, "Would you like a cup of tea, dear? It's of my own recipe, and is absolutely delicious," she adds with a whisper, "I've been perfecting it for over forty-years."
Timmy blinks at her while taking a seat at the table, still with an expression of confusion on his face, "Uh, sure."
After a moment, the woman steps out of the kitchen with a chrysanth-motif, porcelain teapot and sets it on the table, but gives an innocent look of remembrance after realising she forgot the teacups, "Silly me, I'll be right back." [(o.o) If you haven't realised yet, this chapter features a lot more symbolism in comparison to previous chapters, and hints on about relationships between characters. If you pay enough attention, you might have a chance to seem smart by picking up certain things.]
After taking another moment to return with the teacups, the aged lady starts to pour the tea at the table noticing Timmy's interest in the teapot's design.
"I see you've taken notice of my teapot," after pouring the tea she takes a seat and continues, "those designs are Chrysanthemums, though most people just call them 'mums' or 'chrysanths' it's my favourite kind of flower. I'm told that in Europe they symbolise death; isn't that fascinating?"
Scythe begins to quiver in its growing urge to slaughter.
Timmy moves to take a sip of his tea, but stops to ask, "You said you were expecting me?"
The old woman seems surprised at the question, "Well of course, dear. Doesn't everyone expect you to come sooner or later? And at sixty-six years of age and living in a city like this, well, let's just say you start to get pragmatic."
The Named takes a sip of her tea, "I'm not complaining though. I had a wonderful marriage to Glen, with two beautiful sons, Gideon and Ergot. Anyhow, you're probably not interested in the ramblings of an old crone, so I won't take up anymore of your time. I'm ready when you are, dear. "
Timmy sighs and grips Scythe tightly, readying the weapon.
"I only ask that you don't make it look too tragic. I have very fragile-minded neighbours."
"I won't, don't worry. And, thanks for the tea, Jenny."
The lady smiles, "Was my pleasure, dear." In a swift instant, while barely moving from his seat, Timmy outstretches and sweeps Scythe across the small distance of the table. Blood splatters across the walls and floor, with a crashing thud soon following.
The Reaper sighs while he uses his Magical Scene-Shifter Elixir to make it appear as though the aged woman had had a quick heart attack. Then, before leaving into a vortex, Timmy finally takes a sip of his tea though finds it is just water.
"She was right, it's delicious."
-----Back at the SRRA -----
RYE awakens to the sight of Agent Shroom monitoring LuCy's progress, and is suddenly enraged when he sees that his single chrysanth is missing from his desk.
"WHAT THE HELL, SHROOM?! WHERE THE HELL IS MY MUM?!" [(o.o) RYE's Hell Count: 24]
Shroom glances at the Head-Agent, "Uh, it withered and died so I threw it out."
... RYE falls inexplicitly silent.
To Be Disembodied