Timmy the Reaper
Created by Tyler Gates
Warning: This written series is overly ridiculous and may cause some readers to go "wtf". Oh, it also has some nasty themes and gore n' stuff too.
(o.o) What would you do if a turtle raped you?
Jazz sits at her desk within the darkness of her classroom, which now just consists of her and another boy, Brian. It rains endlessly outside, with the sky black and deathly.
Suddenly the towering, thin Ms Irk lurches out of the shadows, hissing and leering at the little girl, screaming, "JAZZ, WHERE IS YOUR THREE-BILLION WORD ASSIGNMENT THAT IS DUE TODAY!?"
The girl starts to sweat in fear, gulping, "Uh, which assignment Ms Irk? We've been given so many it's hard to keep track
Irk slams a piece of paper onto Jazz's desk, "THIS ASSIGNMENT I JUST GAVE YOU! IT'S DUE, NOW!"
Jazz [(o.o) Jazz, not jizz, you sick bastards] starts to tear, "But-but, Ms Irk, this is unreasonable
"UNREASONABLE!?" Lightning strikes outside with crackling thunder, flaring up the classroom as Irk's form momentarily changes to that of a sickly, emaciated creature with pale skin and thin limbs that end in razor claws. [(o.o) This, children, if you hadn't gotten all of my one-million hints, is the Boogy Fiend. Ms Irk = Boogy Fiend. Got it? Good, moving on then
Jazz and Brian scream in terror, but Irk's form reverts back to her more human-self with the passing of the lightning. "FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS BEFORE I HUFF, AND PUFF, AND BURN YOUR HOUSES DOWN!" Irk then turns and starts to disappear back into the shadows, revealing '666' tattooed on the back of her neck.
-----Elsewhere, at room 11 of Some Nursery Home------
An aged 90-year-old granny in her sky-blue dressing gown raises her butterfly knife, smirking, "You wanna dance bitch? Come and get some of Gran!"
Timmy slurps on his wiener slushy, unfazed at the Named's provocations.
"AWWWWW~ Look, it thinks it's gonna live~ LET'S KILL THIS BITCH~!" Scythe screams.
The Granny quickly cartwheels towards the Reaper, stopping directly in front of him as she slashes her butterfly knife down at him. However, still drinking his slushy, Timmy swiftly swings Scythe with one hand, cutting off the Granny's limb that wields the weapon.
The Named yells in pain, but soon calms herself, focusing on the Reaper, "Niggah please, there's more than one way to skin a cat." With her remaining hand, the Granny pulls out a Mark XIX Desert Eagle pistol from under her robe, pointing it directly at Timmy as she moves to squeeze the trigger.
Scythe quivers in excitement, "The Granny's packin' heat!"
After a moment of slicing speed, the Granny peers at the pistol in-hand, watching it split into two and fall to the floor. She then looks at Timmy in astonishment, while she herself collapses backwards onto the floor as two halves. Scythe drips with blood, "YAY~!" [(o.o) That'll teach the bitch! >
Timmy sighs, "At least now this means I've caught up with my workload
Now we just gotta hope nothing else goes wrong."
--------Out in Earth's orbit on the Obesian Mothership-------
Farmer Joe holds his baby-slug offspring in his arms, with tears of absolute joy falling down his face as he smiles at his Obesian slug-wife recuperating on a steel bed, surrounded by fellow shipmates. Suddenly the baby explodes with acidic urine, causing the farmer to collapse backwards screaming, and falling against several control panels. The Obesians then gaze in disbelief as their ship fires a destruction beam at Earth, cutting the planet in half
.oh, well gosh]
To Be Disembodied