TheUltamate

Making one continuous mistake.

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Road Trip Chapter 1 by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Road Trip Chapter 1

Road Trip, Chapter One: In Which Sandwiches are Entirely Inedible This was, as Karkat had been hoping, going to be a safe day . Safe days were often hard to come by because it meant going the entire day without a major federal offense and keeping every other nooksucker in the fucking hive from destroying everything. They had a little sign in the greeting hall that read DAYS SINCE LAST CLUSTERFUCK ; the number currently hanging below the sign was 2 . Karkat was just about to replace it with 3 for the night when Terezi hurriedly opened the front door and began to briskly walk upstairs. "Neighbor Phil's house is on fire, don't ask, and...

Bandcram Chapter 5 by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Bandcram Chapter 5

Bandcram, Chapter Five: In Which Bandcram Performs Karkat returned to find the various equipment stacked haphazardly in the middle of the lane and one less troll in the immediate area. "I have two questions for you idiots: one, why did you put our shit in the middle of goddamn everything, and two: where the hell did Spongebrain Musclehead go?"Sollux shrugged. "For number one, that wathn't me. For two, he ran off after he dumped the boxeth everywhere. Thaid thomething about 'dealing with these lowbloodth to enthure the highblooded victory'." He looked disinterestedly at a fingernail. "Tho he'th probably trying to thabotage the otherth."Kark...

The Story of Darth Gol Stoier by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

The Story of Darth Gol Stoier

The Story of Darth Gol Stoier by 0jedi234CHAPTER ON: JEDI KNIGHTGol Stoior was a jedi knight from the Planet Laldon that became a Jedi after the Sith were destroyed but the EMpire was stull there in hidingGol went to go find a sith loord named Darth Kaddak on on ansteroed bar in far away from Jedi command in his spaceship which had navigation droid named R7-R. "Good day Master Gol" sad R7R- "Hellow R7 today we kill a suth in hiding""whore do we go""to the gatava asteroed feild" and they goed thereCHAPTRE TWO: SITH LORDGol Stoier got to the asteroid bar and found the sith lord in the back bacause he knew gol was coing for him"darth Kaddak!"...

Unsettling Poetry, Vol II by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Unsettling Poetry, Vol II

do you remember (CANYOU) RECALL WHAT YOU promised was it importanti wa lkin andt hereisBL OODONTHE EFLOO Rrunni ngu pt hewallsli keID O NTEVENKNOWandy ouju stsatt he reas ifn othin g wasg oingwr ongA SIFNOTHI NGCOUL DEVERG OWR ONGtelli ngyours elfOVERA NDO ER(asi ftoc onvince yours elf)th atNOTHINGCANGOWRONG nothingcangowrong E V E R Y T H I N G H A S G O N E W R O N Gcan anything be changed when allyouhear is FEEDBACK step back listen COMPREHEND im waitingTHE DOOR IS CLOSING singing and dancing (but unrightfully so) you take what is DEAR and CLOSE TO THE HEART and crush it with no hope of recoveryINNOCENTor not maybePURE AND CHASTE no I C...

Unsettling Poetry by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Unsettling Poetry

before it all ends IT MUST BEGIN THE MASSES INSANE WITH THE SOUND OF THEIR SIN (i feel like ive done this again and again) PASSING EQUALLY LIKELY endlessly mine... ---- what can be seenWHAT CANT BE SEEN is theVOID REALLY THEREor is it a metaphor for what lies beyondBEYOND WHAT CAN BE FOUND ARE THE MISTAKES ALL MINEare the sounds all gone ---- (i have to wonder) where the light has gone TWISTING turning BURNING(the light is gone) IS THERE STILL LIGHT TO RUN TOWARD is there still time ---- WE ARE THE SUN AND THE MOON we are the silence in the song WE ARE THE DRYNESS AND THE R...

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Road Trip Chapter 1 by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Road Trip Chapter 1

Bandcram Chapter 5 by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Bandcram Chapter 5

The Story of Darth Gol Stoier by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

The Story of Darth Gol Stoier

Unsettling Poetry, Vol II by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Unsettling Poetry, Vol II

Unsettling Poetry by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Unsettling Poetry

Bandcram Chapter 4 by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Bandcram Chapter 4

Bandcram, Chapter Four: In Which the Trolls Arrive Once More at Walmart "About fucking time," Karkat grumbled. Eridan, the last remaining member of Bandcram, entered the garage."Shut up, I had to find my guitar."Vriska sneered at the Fender knockoff. "Where'd you get it, a jumpstart kit?""And hwhat if I say yes?""Oh, Jesus.""Both of you, stick it where the sun don't blister." Karkat surveyed the sorry sadsacks. Equius and Gamzee were putting the final cymbals in place. Tavros was hiding from Vriska behind Sollux, who was tuning one of the bass necks. Vriska was still leering at Eridan, who was trying to look like he knew how to tune a guit...

Bandcram Chapter 3 by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Bandcram Chapter 3

Bandcram, Chapter Three: In Which Percussive Instruments Are Stolen And Faygo Is Consumed "Now, Gamzee," Karkat repeated, "tell me why we're going to Big Harold's House of Drums Emporium.""Motherfuck, that's, like, the fourth motherfucking time you've asked me that," Gamzee said from the bus seat from behind the driver's. "We need to go and get the motherfuck out of some motherfucking drums.""And?""...get some motherfucking Faygo?"Karkat slammed his face into the wheel. The horn, which, somewhat fittingly, had been replaced with a sound file of Gamzee screaming HoNk , startled the subcompact in front of them."No, Gamzee. No Faygo. The cor...

Creative Writing Journal, February by TheUltamate, literature

Literature

Creative Writing Journal, February

2/3--F(X)UND Y(X)U-- " It 's here!" Alice practically exploded through the door. " It 's h- aieee!"My vision clouded and a low static hum pounded in my ears. The entire room looked like it had its contrast turned up all the way. Alice's scream sounded more like droning feedback. I turned around in what felt like slow motion. It was standing there, arms outstretched. H(X)W CAN Y(X)U RUN AWAYWHEN I AM ALREADY HERE ------ --2/6Theatre of Minds-- Shadows through what does not yet rise Time slows to a gentle creep Below the stars and above the Earth The harp gently weeps What song plays for what does not exist Does the song exist at all------...

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Friendship is Surreal Part 1 by Array-71, literature

Literature

Friendship is Surreal Part 1

Friendship is Surreal Chapter 1: Your Princess is in another Bastion, Part 1 ~~//*//~~//*//~~Octavia groaned as she lifted her head off her pillow. It was the night after the Gala, and Octavia had been playing her double bass all night, virtually without break. Virtually. There had been several interruptions of her performance; however, she could not remember what exactly happened yet. She could not remember why she could not remember, until she winced in pain as her head throbbed. It all started coming back to her.The Gala had begun like it always had; posh ponies from all over Equestria flocked to socialise. Though, not all of them were ...

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Tuesdays by TheUltamate, visual art

Tuesdays

TheUltamate

Deviation Spotlight

MOC: Vonox by TheUltamate, visual art

MOC: Vonox

TheUltamate

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About TheUltamate

Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

May 11
United States
Deviant for 18 years
He / Him

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My Bio

ABOUT COMMISSIONS AND REQUESTS
I don't do requests, but I might be interested in writing a commission. Send me a note if you want to discuss it.

I do a lot of things. Here is where you can find my writings and the odd comic I produce.

My blog is I Hate Everything, which is mostly about me hating everything.

Paramus Catholic is an ambient post-noise band I'm a part of. Listen to and download our first album (for free!) here, like us on Facebook here, and visit the Tumblr we for some reason have here.

I'm TheUltamate on Steam, but all I do is play TF2 at FTP skill levels, so I'm never online.

You can find some MIDI music I write on my Newgrounds page (which is mostly for confusing the twelve year olds with metal that isn't Avenged Sevenfold) or my Soundcloud page.

You can also find my fanfiction on Archive of our Own if you're a hipster like that.

Some of my friends and I have a YouTube channel used for shitty short films.

I almost never use Pesterchum but I'm theUltamate on it.

Favourite Visual Artist

MC Escher

Favourite Movies

Monty Python and the Holy Grail, District 9, Robo Vampire, Kindergarten Cop, Con Air, Battleship

Favourite TV Shows

Adventure Time, Mythbusters, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Rush, mewithoutYou, Yes, Cloudkicker, Unexpect, Eluveitie

Favourite Books

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, It, the Garrett PI series, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, American Gods

Favourite Writers

Douglas Adams, HP Lovecraft, Stephen King, Peter Chimaera, EE Cummings, Seanbaby, Neil Gaiman

Favourite Games

Pikmin, The Legend of Zelda, Minecraft, Luigi's Mansion, Team Fortress 2, Spore

Favourite Gaming Platform

Virtual Boy

Tools of the Trade

.5 size lead mechanical pencil, notebook, too much free time

Other Interests

Hating everything, baby punching, action chemistry

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TheUltamate

May 18, 2013

Summer.

0 min read

Listening to: I can't decide if I like Cash's version or Moby's version of this song. I guess I'll just have to keep listening to both until I decide, what a shame.Yeah, I haven't been around for a while. I don't know how much that's going to change this summer, but I at least felt like I should make another journal announcing I'm still in some semblance of life. This summer I have a lot planned, and near the top of that planned list is finishing an MOC that's been mostly finished for a good long time now. I think I liked to talk Ohnahn up a lot in previous MOC entries, but I never got around to actually finishing her. This summer, I'm ...

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TheUltamate

Dec 22, 2012

Merry Smissmas

0 min read

Listening to: I've just recently realized Prince is a damn good guitarist. This song is undeniable proof.It's not quite that day yet, but I don't think I'll have any sort of reliable Internet when it actually is. Also, I want to write this now.So, I'm on break for a decent while, bless the Divines. I think I'll manage to get a special holiday episode of The Trolls of Oregon up in time for the New Year.Oh, right, the apocalypse. Being dead is a lot like being alive, which is sort of disappointing. I was at least expecting something marginally different, but at least the Internet isn't bad. And Gangnam Style hit a billion views on the same...

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TheUltamate

Nov 20, 2012

Oh Cool, Another Prolonged Absence

0 min read

Yeah, uh. I pretty consistently find myself in this position, apologizing for vanishing for a few months with nothing to show but some trollfiction. It begins to border on "awful person" territory sometimes. Not that I'm self-loathing or anything, but I sort of have an obligation here to you folks here and on AO3. What am I babbling about? Christ.College makes me busy. What time I've had has been largely consumed by the RPG groups I'm in or ravaging skulls as Axebeard Beardaxe in Skyrim. I've done a woefully pitiful amount of writing, aside from a fairly frightening stack of trollfiction. I have half-written things flitting about, some o...