TheTrefoiler
- Feb 9
- United States
- Deviant for 10 years
- He / Him
Hello, my name is Tony and I've been drawing for as long as I can remember, and writing for almost just as long!
My greatest asset is a vivid imagination, and I spend most of my artistic career honing my skills, hoping one day they will measure up to what I see in my mind. Is it a losing battle? Most likely, but if there's even a chance I could bring a bit more beauty into the world, I must try.
That and if I don't do something about it, I might just lose my mind! 
As you can most likely see, what has captured my imagination most is a neat series known as My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I've drawn my fair share of fan art, and though little of it has been uploaded, am working on my fair share of stories based on this enchanting universe!
So, if you're into that kind of thing, stick around and I promise you won't regret your stay! 
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Comments
Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactA fine animation! I'll need to wait and let this digest before I watch the other one in your collection. It was a lot to take in!
This has a unique style. The simple character designs and the use of soft lighting is easy on the eyes. There are times, I would note, that these simple characters clash with the picturesque backdrops, but you clearly worked hard to make them seem at home in their surroundings, with great results!
Of course, this is a story we've all seen before in romance. The main character is too shy to approach the object of his affections, but once he does open up, the chemistry is instantaneous. The story goes exactly where you expect it to go, in exactly the way you expect to go, but this is setting up a sequel that may yet leave the cliche behind, so I'm hopeful.
Your use of pauses, I think, help lift the familiar story up. They really drive the emotions you're conveying home, though by contrast, I can't help but feel the third act was a bit rushed. As a writer, I know I would falter too if I was asked to cram the entire scope of a romance into a chapter of only 4,000 words or so. That said, this story was handled superbly well considering the compression. Again, I have to recognize that this may well be merely the first installment in a much larger narrative. Looking at it as an introduction, then, it does it's job very well.
Returning to the emotional presence you were able to create, it is undeniably resonant. The music and the timing, and to some degree the dialogue mesh well across the soft palette of the world. Even though I could see the ending coming, I was genuinely rooting for these two and their performance was never betrayed by the medium. I would say these two could have used a touch moire personality (my point about dialogue), but I also understand that they don't require dimension for this story to function.
All in all, what you've made here is beautiful, engaging, and communicates exactly what is should from beginning to end. I've been picking out its flaws for the purposes of critique, but know that this does not mean it is mediocre. It is a fabulous work and it lays a sturdy groundwork for following chapters.
You should be proud of what you have made, and if this is to be considered your early work, I can't wait to see where you'll be creating in the future!
