I'M BACK!!! Miss me? What do you mean no? Of course you know who I am! It’s me, Freya! Yeah, sure you do! Remember? We met at Mike Carrie’s Christmas party; we reinacted Titanic in the outdoor pool and I caught pneumonia. I punched that nun in the throat! Oh come on, how can you not remember that? Yes, you do know me! Just think really, really, hard. You really don’t remember me? Well, I guess I can’t blame, I haven’t been on this account in...
I disproved the existence of Steve Carell!
... about a year or two. I did create a joint account with my friend, Danielle, but that went tits up. It wasn’t my fault, but I sort of changed the password because I kept forgetting what it was originally. I was going to tell her but then I also forgot that password that I chose to replace the one I couldn’t remember. It would have been easy to find out what it was had I not changed the email address that we had and forgot that one, too. So now we have an account that we can’t access nor can we deactivate. No, it wasn’t my fault, I said so earlier. You need to learn how to listen.
Also, I started university to study film and media. Not to name drop but it’s the same one that British Icon and ‘Game of Thrones’ star, Charles Dance, attended to study graphic design. So, I’m technically a celebrity. Please, no pictures! The course is fun but FAR too technology based for me. I have had so many bad experiences with camera equipment and editing software that I physically break out in a sweat. I have reduced myself to a Pavlovian experiment! I still want to make films, but I’m the ideas guy. I know what I want; I just don’t know how to do them.
I have managed to wheedle my way on to the second year (because miracles so exist, apparently) but I think I’m going to focus on my writing. And that is why I’m back! It’s strange looking back on your old work. Not YOUR old work, I don’t know who you are. Who are you? What are you doing here? Did Salieri send you? Look, I can get the money, ok? I just need more time. Please stop leaving horse heads in my bed!
I’m joking of course. I don’t really have a bed, I was being creative. Dare I say I was... WRITING!?! *Pause for dramatic effect.*
I have several works in progress that I would like untangle from my mind and sort out in physical form and I would love your opinions and advice about them. Caw, it’s great to be back, isn’t it? I have missed this so very...
I stole that woman’s breast milk!
Ok sir, have a good day.
Listening to: I Shall Be Released - Alan Cumming
Reading: Engines of War - A Dr Who novel by George Mann