“Stay… stay with me. Like you did with your old lovers.”
“I… I thought we couldn’t be…” A feeling of deja-vu.
He squeezed me lightly in his embrace. This time, there was a kind of desperate tone in his voice that was almost a whisper, “Please… I just need someone. I feel like it won’t work if it’s not you…"
“How…?” I finally replied. “How can we be a lover?”
“… break me. The way you did to your old lovers.”
They say, you have to first learn to love yourself before you could learn to love other. You won't know how to love other if you don't know how to love yourself. I have learned, through my own experience, that it is true. What I have just learned now, is how... just like the way it is with lot of thing, learning how to love yourself could be something you have to learn over and over again.
A friend ever asked once, "Why is it so hard to learn to love yourself?"
Back then, I couldn't answer. I just thought about how, for so long it is something that comes so naturally to me. But now I found out that I'm not any better. Here I am, been feeling bad about myself for the last few days. And I surprised when a thought abruptly popped into my mind; I finally asked myself today, "What's preventing you from loving yourself?"
Life is like cycles. History repeats itself, but like what Lewis says, same thing doesn't have to happen the same way twice. From my own experience, I always find how similar thing tends to happen again and again -- and yet, everything is different from the last time...
Can you relate to it too?