Some Say...... Chap.11===============
Tonight: Hamster wears a helmet, I talk on a walkie-talkie, and James drinks coffee.
"You're mad," I said, as I had on many occasions.
"This is brilliant!" said James, the designated supporter of yet another strange challenge.
"No," I said flatly, "It's not. It wouldn't be a good idea even if it was built better than this."
"She's right mate," said Jeremy, "It's rubbish." we were all standing around, staring at a 'convertible people carrier'*. And a very poorly built one at that.
"And now you get to drive it at 100 miles an hour! Won't that be fun?" I said, over-enthusiastically, "Who's going to be trapped in the back?" all eyes went on Hammond.
"Yeah, alright." he said, "You have to ride in back next time," he added, glaring at Jeremy.
"Might want to wear a helmet," I said, patting him on the back and keeping my up-beat attitude, "you're most likely to get hit in the head by loose parts!"
"Thanks for that," Hammond said darkly.
"See you when you
Some say...... Chap.10Note: there's a new divider! '-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=' meand the same challenge/episode, different locale.
I stare at the sky for a bit, Richard becomes cross, and a war begins in Norway.
"Hey! Hamster! Wait up!" I shouted, running up behind him. I walked along next to him for a moment, then "We're in NORWAY!" I said with a giant grin.
"So you said about five times today."
"This is awesome!" I said, skipping along, "I mean, the Nürburgring is the farthest from the studio I've ever been! Are we farther away than that?"
"Yes," he replied, "much farther."
"Oh. Then this is the farthest I've ever been from the studio! And probably the most snow I've ever seen." I stopped, a manic grin spreading on my face as I went up to a snow drift. Thankfully, Hammond didn't seemed to have noticed that I'd fallen back. I snuck quietly up behind him, a big icy lump in my hands. I got up on my tip-toes, ready to attack from the air,
"Jess?" crap, he'd realized I'd gone. As
Some Say...... Chap.9=======================
I get hiccups, Hammond begs, and Jeremy gloats.
The alarm went off, shocking me out of my comfy sleep. Before I was fully countious, I found myself sitting completely upright and wondering franticly where that noise was coming from. Then, within seconds, I realized it was the alarm, and sighed at my idiocy.
So as not to look odd, I have placed my alarm clock across the room from my bed- er, the sofa. This makes it practically impossible for me to press snooze and go back to bed. I stood up, and walked over to the alarm clock to turn it off. Less than a foot away from the clock, I found myself confronted with a common, human, experience. I hiccuped. Not noticing any difference, I turned off the alarm. I walked into my bathroom, hiccuping once more before I made it to the door. I stood and stared at myself in the mirror for several seconds, before remembering that people would be getting to work in about an hour or so. I needed to
Some Say...... Chap.8Yet another 2-parter. One is sorta' long, the other is shorter. Enjoy!
Hammond annoys me, Jeremy doesn't annoy me, and I scare the crap out of Hammond.
As has already been established, I am an android. As such, my senses are a bit better attuned than a normal human's. I can see and hear things much easier/clearer than average. As such, sleeping through things is a bit of a challenge. I've managed to ignore most background noise, like the air conditioner, computers, or cars driving by. However, something loud like, say, a phone ringing, is a problem. So, at a time like 2:00 in the morning, this is quite annoying.
Such was the case one eventful night. I was laying there on the sofa, fast asleep, and the stupid phone had to ring. At first, I didn't open my eyes. I reeeeeeeally didn't want to. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I rolled over and glared at the closed door ac
The Stig - Some of his factsSome say . . .
He doesnt sleep he just waits
That he doesnt sleep laying down but upside down like a bat
That he can't get onto im a celebrity because he is one
He is wanted by the CIA
His Earwax tastes like Turkish Delight
His skin has the texture of dolphins
He can melt concrete on contact
His favourite food is raw meat
He has a digital face
He has a swivelling head
When he exhales, argon comes out
when he blinks, you can hear a noice like a camera shutter
Noone knows what the LEDs on his neck mean
You need to squirt his armpit with WD40 every six months (or every 5,000 miles, whichever is sooner)
Both his hearts have variable valve timing
His elbow bends the wrong way
He can only digest meat. And rocks
They arent gloves, his hands really look like that
His buttocks are the same spec as the tiles on the bottom of the space shuttle
One of his knees seems to attract cats
One of his legs are hydraulic
When he walks his feet make a sort of wah wah guitar noise
He has a group of freckles
...He's Called The StigSome say that:
He roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves.
His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.
His skin has the texture of dolphins.
If you tune your radio to 88.4 FM you can actually hear his thoughts.
He is scared of bells.
He was raised by wolves.
He appears on high-value stamps in Sweden.
He has no understanding of clouds.
He is confused by stairs.
He naturally faces magnetic north.
He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.
His heart ticks like a watch.
He appears on Japanese banknotes.
There's an airport in Russia named after him.
He is wanted by the CIA.
His breath smells of magnesium.
He can catch fish with his tongue.
His tears are adhesive.
If set alight, he'd burn for a thousand days.
He is terrified of ducks.
His voice can only be heard by cats.
He has two sets of knees.
He can swim seven lengths underwater.
He has webbed buttocks.
He can melt concrete on contact.
He blinks this way. (Clarkson closing his thumb and forefinger on both held-up hands -- a referen
My Own Stig Quotes 2My Own Stig Quotes 2
01/12/2009 (Final Update)
"Some say that car hydraulics makes him horny and that it was him who put that offensive photo of Michelle Obama onto Google. All we know is that the Americans will probably want to extradite him now and hang him."
"Some say, that his sat-nav only contains maps of race tracks and is convinced that Frankie Boyle is the long lost son of Susan Boyle. All we know is that he is called The Stig!"
"Some say, his favourite bodyspray is WD40. And that he always has sex on fire. All we know is that he is called The Stig!"
"Some say, he has no bellybutton. And that he secretly trawls the internet looking for Meerkats to compare. All we know is that he is called The Stig!"
"Some say that ignorance is his new best friend. And that he's filed a restraining order against some bloke called Dave from Newcastle because Dave is confusing him for Shola Ameobi. All we know is that he is not Ameobi like but he is The Stig!"
"Some say, that
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