theSASTA

Well...
been a long time since I updated this journal.

The old depressing story wont fit anymore.... so why keep it?

Right now I´m trying to build up a space-scene.. u know... those photoshop layer- and filterfests with brushes and lighting and all but for some reason everything I throw together just looks pretty displaced and is somehow missing depth.

Maybe I should just calm down and keep tryin´ ... Try and error ...

If anybody reads this and got some good advices where to start off and how...... I´d be very thankful

Just woke up after another 2,5h sleep.....dont know whats wrong with me and my life right now.
sitting at my pc again.
drinking the "good"-morning cappuccino - smokin a cig.
sun threatens me.
its getting hot in this room .... at 9:20am
had a strange conversation with my girl on the phone.
listening to SILVERSUN PICKUPS (three seed) accentuates this whole situation.
only thing thats worth looking forward today is its saturday.
saturday = paintball day
ANGEL pant already dressed up
just 60 more minutes and im on the field.... shooting balls towards those who are not afraid of getting hit.

feeling............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ kinda empty.

why am i sharing this with the world?!

Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,
And I still have these memories,
But we'll never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.
I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm sorry that it wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?


"A Year From Now" - ACROSS FIVE APRILS

Fits so damn good to my current mood.... what else could I say?!
Good music for bad feelings....