theroyalus's avatar
IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL
By theroyalus   |   Watch
94 37 2K (1 Today)
Published: January 17, 2011
My response to some of the constant drama people experience when they neglect, ignore, suppress, demonize, hate, badmouth, bully, abuse, and attempt to exorcise or integrate their "alters."

If a friend told you that they're suicidal, you would help. You would listen. You would encourage them into therapy.

But if your "alter"- someone who shares an important and intimate connection with you- is suicidal, they get branded "the evil alter" and need to be gotten rid of.

Rethink this, please. I used to be "the evil alter." Now I'm recognized as a person, and respected for my contributions. Talk with your headmates. Show them respect. Befriend them. Great things might happen.

-Ronin Ellis

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Comments (36)
Fire-Ebony's avatar
Fire-EbonyEdited |Hobbyist Traditional Artist
...

ok reading this just made me happy

because i used to be the "evil alter" too. The aggresive one, the dangerous one, the sneaky one,...

and the fights with the other, ended when we began to accept each other, give an opportunity to each other, (we are only two in this body plus other seven voices inside her head, but we are only two in control)

in the end, everything resides in coexist, because i made mistakes too...


so i have to thank you for doing this, seriously


(Wolf)
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kirbyfan2377's avatar
kirbyfan2377|Hobbyist General Artist
What is an alter?
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KokoroMiracle250's avatar
KokoroMiracle250|Hobbyist General Artist
My headmates have saved my life on multiple occassions
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Alter-Frost-Storm's avatar
Love this cause its true!!!
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charcoalman's avatar
charcoalman|Student Traditional Artist
if you think you have headmates you need to see someone this shit is NOT natural.
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Fire-Ebony's avatar
Fire-Ebony|Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Of course is not natural. Dissociative Identity Disorder is caused by trauma. Please, investigate a bit before commenting. Thanks :)
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sugarpunkdoe's avatar
I feel like this message is really important.
I have a Tulpa, which is similar to an alter. He's a former self-harmer and from a really bad home situation, and deals with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from a house fire and basically watching his entire family die in front of him. As a result he has severe trust issues.
But last October when I met some new friends and got caught up in school testing, bands he didn't like, and other real life things, he began to believe that I was ignoring him and didn't love him anymore, so he "ran away". I've never been more sad/lonely in my life than during that October. He returned later in the month, but he'd relapsed into everything and it took him about six months to fully trust me again.
Moral of this story: If you have an alter, Tulpa, thoughtform, headmate, anything, especially one with existing trust issues, DO NOT IGNORE THEM.
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IndigoOfTheHeavens's avatar
IndigoOfTheHeavens|Student General Artist
Love this especially the last half. I've had trouble with panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, and mental instability now and then (unrelated to them, more around emotionally tense relationship situations in outward life, as well as my chronic illness making it hard to live my life...) but they pull through for me again and again. If I want a break from fronting (since I'm the main fronter, its my life, and I'm the "main" you can say) Graltrez can step in and help. Iris is the body consciousness and is always there, little cheerful talkative one she is. <3 Laurina and Nastrith have fronted at times but Graltrez has proven himself time and time again to be my bulwark and stalwart ally and VERY good at what he does. He gets the job done and doesn't dither as much about things that may be causing me to panic or get emotionally hurt by. He's more unruffled by such things, and checks things off a to-do list and makes sure everything's running well in this life. He just hates socializing so I or Iris have to step in for that lol.

Recently he's been an AMAZING stalwart ally in this mess with my illness and helping me manage it better. One time when I was panicking a bit since I was emotionally messed up and mentally a bit too from the downward spiral of my energy and health in a couple hours (rapid yes I know) that so characterizes the beginning of an energy crash, I was debating whether to wake up mom by pushing a button she gave me for such a situation, if I've gotten too bad a crash and cannot move or text for help. Since I didn't think I was that bad I was debating whether waking her up was "fair" or not of me to do, but Graltrez just took one look at my emotional state, tried to convince me to do it and then when I dithered more, just took over and pushed the button and then went back to letting me front and calming me from within the mindspace. Mom came in and that helped a LOT, but if it hadn't been for Graltrez I wouldn't have pushed the button and probably would've done some harm to myself. *sighs* He's so sane and cool-headed and logical and has a very firm stance on needing to do what is necessary if it protects the physical/emotional/mental health. He's my backbone these past few weeks as I've been having trouble with a friend who is also a multiple, who couldn't deal with what I needed to do to set healthful limits on the relationship. I would've torn myself to bits emotionally over the stress but Graltrez keeps being cool and level-headed to a "T" and giving me that solidity and strength I need to learn lol.

I've been talking more about what he's doing for me to help me in my life, along with my boyfriend Raven, and mind-healer and all-around awesome guy Thespas, and twin Azzy, and my therapist and my mom when they heard about what Gra did that night, actually said out loud "Thank you Graltrez! <3" pretty enthusiastically lol. ;;; They're too used to me trying to hide my problems to "not be a burden/problem" for other people, so anyone that gets me to admit to having troubles and to actually reach out for help instead of suffering in silence, they like that person a lot. :)

Anyways rambled more than I probably should've lol but just wanted to share to someone who seems very supportive and in a welcoming environment. <3
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LE-NIQQA-2000's avatar
LE-NIQQA-2000|Professional Photographer
you are fucking batshit insane
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vamp666raven's avatar
vamp666raven|Hobbyist Writer
Lately, they feel like more trouble than their worth, but this has renewed my hope and respect for them. They saved my mind, after all. Mm Happy 
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ArynChris's avatar
I should keep this handy. For the most part, those I've come out to don't even believe me. But those who do (or maybe just "might") get confused about whether my problems are actually caused by someone else in here. In fact, I used to be confused myself. True facts? My headmates are no more evil than I am, and more than once have been the only people around to step in and end a bad situation or to push me into doing something that I was too shy to do on my own.
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vamp666raven's avatar
vamp666raven|Hobbyist Writer

I suppose I'm an "alter." *dislikes that term*

One "alter" self-harms, another has an eating disorder, and I'm suicidal... So things can get a bit complicated... In fact, for a long period of time, one would cut my host if she didn't do what she asked or did something she didn't like... But we've all learned that we have to compromise. Our host has a bit of a temper, although she's very sweet, and my girlfriend (another "alter") has a temper even worse... So you can imagine the chaos. I pride myself in saying that I'm the reason things have calmed down a bit and they actually listen to one another now.

We've learned to live with DID, and, every so often, we might even enjoy each other's company. We've all gotten quite close, and frankly, I don't think any of us could live without the other. ^-^

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LB-Lee's avatar
LB-Lee|Professional General Artist
Naturally I would agree! Ignoring people's needs rarely ends well.

--Miranda
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camelopardalisinblue's avatar
camelopardalisinblue|Hobbyist General Artist
If this was Facebook, I would totally "thumbs up" this. ;)
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artanas42's avatar
I fully support this. they're people, if not loosely defined as such. treat them as such, and they'll take you far. me and mine, we're very close (Get it? ha!) and i can't really imagine life without em.
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Plures's avatar
Plures| Interface Designer
This is fantastic! We faved this, of course.

~Kerry
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Fire-Ebony's avatar
Fire-EbonyEdited |Hobbyist Traditional Artist
if you dont fav this, then you dont know what this is

(Wolf)
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A-Being-Of-Fable's avatar
HERE HERE! One of my girls (Tirndil) prevented me from committing suicide once. Raoul is taking pounds off this body and making me healthier with his bike-riding. Mr. E introduced me to some of the best friends we've ever had. In short, Alters do not equate with evil. As a matter of fact, I love all of mine to death (in a friendly context). - Shay
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Sarusaru-san's avatar
um...hello, my name is Ghost, and my sister Destiny thinks that we could possibly be "alters" and i was curious to ask, what exactly is one?

(Destiny is trying to figure out what's wrong with Big Sister Christen's head, and so i wanted to help a bit)
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Black-Myth's avatar
Thank you for sharing this Ronin Ellis, you really are right :)
We have to remind ourselves exactly this at times.

- Gwynn
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TheHoodedAngel's avatar
It's good to hear that others think that I'm not an "evil" alter. I self harm, am depressed, but I'm also one of the "nicer" ones inside of our host! I'M NOT EVIL!
~Scratches
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xPainWithoutLovex's avatar
What are alters? o.o
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theroyalus's avatar
theroyalus|Professional Traditional Artist
"Alter" is the currently accepted term for "alternate personality," as in Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder). [link]

It's a fairly controversial word among multiples themselves. It's considered an offensive slur by many multiples who consider themselves non-pathological (either not from origins of trauma, or having resolved their issues but still multiple).

-Ronin
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xPainWithoutLovex's avatar
Ohhh. Okay, that's what I thought but, I had never heard the term before ^^'
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anonymous's avatar
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