I can do this

"I can do this." That's what I've been repeating to myself.

I started looking up faces to reference for my Bard avatar--something that's vital and time-consuming--because I'm not RossDraws or MarcBrunet or name-an-art-god--I can't pull an idea out of a hat and just crank out a masterpiece with no time or prep. I'm just me. A writer with a sssslightly bigger-than-average crumb of visually artistic acumen: and that's all I am.

 I'll admit I panicked. I thought, "It's been so long, do you even remember how to draw men?"; I thought, "To make still frames worth a damn you need to be able to draw different angles, can you even do that?"; finally, blinkered by relentless doubts, I had to throw open my gallery and just...stare; and, honestly, I was more than a little surprised.

I pointed at the screen, "You did that. Now, none of it's perfect, but every time you've set pen to tablet, you've almost always come away better. You're not an art savant, you can't fire up a camera and churn out professional work in a matter or hours. You're still learning, you're always going to be learning, and you need to learn at your own pace. There's a lot you don't know, and can't do (yet), and it seems like you're never going to get to the level you want, but you have so much more talent than you realize. You're closer to your goal than you know; so, relax...You can do this."

Just because I could be trying harder, doesn't mean I'm not trying. Just because I'm frustrated now doesn't mean I'll be frustrated forever. I can't let myself get discouraged just because, to get where I'm going, I have to take ten steps more for every one someone else takes. What matters is I'm moving forward.

 I can do this.