Fox and HareDo you remember
skipping rocks across streams
Far and wide
Sunburnt, summer sights
You ran, I chased you
I wanted a taste of your life
We played tag amidst the trees
If I spotted you, you took flight
Faster than I thought I could run
At night you would disappear
And I would wander home alone
Solemn that I hadn't caught my game
In the morning you would appear again
And we would play till the sun set
I could never touch you
But at times we were close
Side by side
And wandering aimlessly on worn trails
Laughing till the woods were filled with it
But then something happened
The leaves began to change
And when I went to the glade to wait for you
You never came
I waited countless days as the world grew cold
You never came
I laid, love struck and sick
You never came
I called to you, howling painfully
You never came
When I went home I saw you finally one day
You were with another
You didn't notice me
You went home with her
You had forgotten me
Ursa Major (Further)I wish I could run further
than across the universe from you
Never fleeting glances behind me
You would be the headlights following close
And I would be the scared girl walking home late
Too afraid to look or I might meet my end
But forever I will remain curious of you
Are you my light to guide me home?
Do you watch carefully from afar
knowing you can never be near to me?
Or are you my last moment
An unaware equivalent of a drunk driver?
The sleepy trucker behind the wheel?
I would follow this dark road
Watching only the yellow stripes for reassurance
But no matter where you go
How far you move away from me
I will always carry you in the back of my mind
As my greatest fear and my one regret
You remain the distant headlights
I'm too scared to look
But, oh, what if I have lost you?
'Dear, I was never yours to have.
You and I were never anything.'
I know that...
But what if you don't know
That you took something from me when you disappeared?
I can't get it back even if I asked
FixedWhen the night had peaked
Racing to a plane far
Removed from you or me
That's where we used to live
Out witting the sun gods
that say we cannot be
And when that moment would come
That the heavenly fire would begin
To stir his head on the horizon
One flicker of light dropping
Like the funeral bell
You would grab my hand and we would run west
Till our breath would cease
And you would vanish before my eyes
With a look of devastation and longing
One last kiss as you held my
Face in your hands
Until I see you again
Now I search the night sky
Desperately for you
But we are lost
AbyssDo you drive me mad with blind anticipation
To better serve your ego
Or am I a victim of my own obsessive tendencies?
Blocking this path of forgiveness
You stand in my way
At times unmovable and strong
Like a shoulder I can always run to
Other times distant and obscure
But terrifying nonetheless
And I will shy away from you
But do you drive me mad
To give you satisfaction?
Or am I a victim and my own mind has played this trick on me?
Sleepwalking back to when we first met
My thoughts have plans of their own
And they don't play nicely
Instead you drive me mad!
Your slightest touch and my skin is on fire!
I long only to not be left alone
So do with my thoughts as you please
You know my every desire
And I am helpless
You drive me mad
With your sick idea of love
BleedSo begins this treacherous journey,
Where I fight sleep like a child
I have no reasons,
But I am torn between my desire
To dream of your face
And my fear that I will dream of your face
For upon waking you would be gone
And I am left lovesick
Like a child once more
So without haste I run!
Phantom, curse of my imagination-
And torment me no more
Take what little hope you've placed in me and
Soon I will sleep again
In line with my will to feel the darkness and
soft blanket kindness of a night of rest
UntitledI wish I was your lab rat,
something that you played with daily.
Poured every inch of yourself into daily.
Obsessed over daily.
Maybe then I wouldn't have turned to addiction,
you could be the one addicted,
and I'd be the one suffering because of it...
Not the other way around.
Instead we dance around how to fix me,
as if I'm a broken china doll someone knocked off the shelf.
You wonder if I'll ever put the bottle down.
If I'll ever stop destroying myself.
If I'll ever be normal again.
I think that's why I hate you.
I was never normal after what happened to me back then.
It was so long ago, to think about it.
I don't think I even know what normal means.
Usable ForcesHow tired the days,
How hard it is to be a believer;
Nothing could be worse.
You say not to touch you,
But it's in that voice you get when you lie.
Like there's something you're not telling me.
Like maybe all of my hope is built on...
Trusting in things that don't exist.
And I am tired of the quiet fights,
The unwilling laughter,
The remorse over what we did to each other.
I can't accept that I am a horrible person,
but what I did, what I continue to do...
I have destroyed something beautiful in this world.
How hard it is to be believer...
When I look in the mirror and see a monster.
I ThoughtI thought we ended things a long time ago
When our fights had grown to stale cold matches
Neither of us wanting to give up a win
Neither of us willing to admit to a loss
That was before the headlights
And the unforgiving glances behind us
Where we both spent time wondering where the other one was
where we both gave into wild fantasies of running away
That was when things didn't have to make sense
It was all lust in the park after dark
Without a sense of the damage we were doing to eachother
Without a second thought about the future we were destroying
Cheers To YesterdayDo you remember me?
Back when I was that blonde haired girl
Before the drug addictions
Before the bi polar
Before the long drunk nights
It was all baseball fields
and mom's disappointing grin,
"You are covered in dirt!"
But that was a long time ago
Most days I don't even remember
And then I hear your name