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Deviant for 12 Years
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Literature
Ursa Minor
Do you know what you've lost
When you left me behind
Mountain streams
And steep cliffs
Trails between evergreens
Tall
Winding paths
I hope you never spot
Another fox in the woods
For as long as you live
I hope you never see me again
Little bear
Will you ever find it through
Your endless wandering?
Little boy
Will you ever come home to me?
See that all your doubts
Were fears I would have laid to rest
With my head softly on your chest
Smoothing back your hair
As I drift off to sleep
You've stolen that peace from yourself
And from me
I pray I'll come home someday to another
And you would become a fleeting memory
Carried away by the thawing snow
The sound of your voice no longer haunting me
It is lost amid the wind rustling fallen leaves
Keeping no trace of you
Or I will run this entire planet
Just trying to escape you
Just hoping if I climb high enough
I'll lose you
If I'm no longer present in your life
In any way
In any form
Will I forget you as easily as you forgot me?
Oh, little bear
W
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Literature
I Saw You
I saw you
you were a star bursting
into a million colors and heat
But people went on with
their normal lives amidst concrete
I knew better
you were an oblivious example of
the perfection of Gods creation
Yet no one knew to look at you
They would never see past their own reflections
But...
I saw you
and marveled at your beauty
I appreciated what no one else could see
I would have loved you in ways you'd never known
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Literature
Fox and Hare
Do you remember
skipping rocks across streams
Far and wide
Sunburnt, summer sights
You ran, I chased you
I wanted a taste of your life
We played tag amidst the trees
If I spotted you, you took flight
Faster than I thought I could run
At night you would disappear
And I would wander home alone
Solemn that I hadn't caught my game
In the morning you would appear again
And we would play till the sun set
I could never touch you
But at times we were close
Side by side
And wandering aimlessly on worn trails
Laughing till the woods were filled with it
But then something happened
The leaves began to change
And when I went to the glade to wait for you
You never came
I waited countless days as the world grew cold
You never came
I laid, love struck and sick
You never came
I called to you, howling painfully
You never came
When I went home I saw you finally one day
You were with another
You didn't notice me
You went home with her
You had forgotten me
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Literature
Ursa Major (Further)
I wish I could run further
than across the universe from you
Never fleeting glances behind me
You would be the headlights following close
And I would be the scared girl walking home late
Too afraid to look or I might meet my end
But forever I will remain curious of you
Are you my light to guide me home?
Do you watch carefully from afar
knowing you can never be near to me?
Or are you my last moment
An unaware equivalent of a drunk driver?
The sleepy trucker behind the wheel?
I would follow this dark road
Watching only the yellow stripes for reassurance
But no matter where you go
How far you move away from me
I will always carry you in the back of my mind
As my greatest fear and my one regret
You remain the distant headlights
I'm too scared to look
But, oh, what if I have lost you?
'Dear, I was never yours to have.
You and I were never anything.'
I know that...
But what if you don't know
That you took something from me when you disappeared?
I can't get it back even if I asked
It's yours
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:iconthemyssing:themyssing 1 3
Literature
Fixed
When the night had peaked
Racing to a plane far
Removed from you or me
That's where we used to live
Out witting the sun gods
that say we cannot be
And when that moment would come
That the heavenly fire would begin
To stir his head on the horizon
One flicker of light dropping
Like the funeral bell
You would grab my hand and we would run west
Till our breath would cease
And you would vanish before my eyes
With a look of devastation and longing
One last kiss as you held my
Face in your hands
Until I see you again
Now I search the night sky
Desperately for you
But we are lost
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Literature
Abyss
Do you drive me mad with blind anticipation
      To better serve your ego
Or am I a victim of my own obsessive tendencies?
Blocking this path of forgiveness
      You stand in my way
At times unmovable and strong
Like a shoulder I can always run to
      Other times distant and obscure
But terrifying nonetheless
And I will shy away from you
But do you drive me mad
      To give you satisfaction?
Or am I a victim and my own mind has played this trick on me?
Sleepwalking back to when we first met
      My thoughts have plans of their own
And they don't play nicely
Instead you drive me mad!
      Your slightest touch and my skin is on fire!
I long only to not be left alone
So do with my thoughts as you please
      You know my every desire
And I am helpless
You drive me mad
      With your sick idea of love
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:iconthemyssing:themyssing 1 1
Literature
Bleed
So begins this treacherous journey,
Where I fight sleep like a child
And why?
I have no reasons,
But I am torn between my desire
To dream of your face
And my fear that I will dream of your face
For upon waking you would be gone
And I am left lovesick
Like a child once more
So without haste I run!
Phantom, curse of my imagination-
Leave!
And torment me no more
Take what little hope you've placed in me and
Soon I will sleep again
In line with my will to feel the darkness and
soft blanket kindness of a night of rest
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Literature
Untitled
I wish I was your lab rat,
something that you played with daily.
Poured every inch of yourself into daily.
Obsessed over daily.
Maybe then I wouldn't have turned to addiction,
you could be the one addicted,
and I'd be the one suffering because of it...
Not the other way around.
Instead we dance around how to fix me,
as if I'm a broken china doll someone knocked off the shelf.
You wonder if I'll ever put the bottle down.
If I'll ever stop destroying myself.
If I'll ever be normal again.
I think that's why I hate you.
I was never normal after what happened to me back then.
It was so long ago, to think about it.
I don't think I even know what normal means.
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Literature
Usable Forces
How tired the days,
How hard it is to be a believer;
Nothing could be worse.
You say not to touch you,
But it's in that voice you get when you lie.
Like there's something you're not telling me.
Like maybe all of my hope is built on...
  Trusting in things that don't exist.
And I am tired of the quiet fights,
The unwilling laughter,
The remorse over what we did to each other.
I can't accept that I am a horrible person,
but what I did, what I continue to do...
  I have destroyed something beautiful in this world.
How hard it is to be believer...
When I look in the mirror and see a monster.
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Literature
I Thought
I thought we ended things a long time ago
When our fights had grown to stale cold matches
Neither of us wanting to give up a win
Neither of us willing to admit to a loss
That was before the headlights
And the unforgiving glances behind us
Where we both spent time wondering where the other one was
where we both gave into wild fantasies of running away
That was when things didn't have to make sense
It was all lust in the park after dark
Without a sense of the damage we were doing to eachother
Without a second thought about the future we were destroying
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Literature
Cheers To Yesterday
Do you remember me?
Back when I was that blonde haired girl
Before the drug addictions
Before the bi polar
Before the long drunk nights
Alone
It was all baseball fields
    and mom's disappointing grin,
"You are covered in dirt!"
But that was a long time ago
Most days I don't even remember
And then I hear your name
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Literature
Someone Must Get Hurt
Can't be that blank space for you anymore.
Where every word you breathe in the softness
is a vapor of what is real.
No room for anything but...
the surreal touch of your bare skin.
How perfect those memories are,
In a way that is bittersweet as much as it is
perfect in every way.
But that's too easy,
You leave and I become a feeling:
Fleeting and regretful.
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:iconthemyssing:themyssing 0 1
Literature
It began with the waffles
It began with the waffles, well first there were the potholders, but really the problem was the waffles. I don’t even think she knew she was making waffles; much less that she had lost her potholders in the trash can the day before. But nonetheless the real issue here was that she was making waffles, could she be dreaming she was making waffles? Perhaps she wasn’t even dreaming, perhaps she was just doing. I had been living in this house for…oh well heck I don’t keep track of the days like she does. All I know is I couldn’t remember the last time I was outside. I look outside a lot though; I stare out the window and watch the pretty birds fly around. I get lucky from time to time and see a field mouse, oh how that excites me!
But back to the waffles, you see I first realized she was making waffles when I smelled maple syrup, so naturally I yawned, stretched, and waltzed leisurely into the kitchen to caress against her leg. She usually says hello when I do
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:iconthemyssing:themyssing 0 1
Literature
The story of my manic depression in prose.
I've been trying to kill myself...for years.
I stopped dusting the bookshelves,
just so it would look like no one lived here anymore.
But it didn't work, you still came home.
For so long I obsessively used to
wipe my belongings in order day to day.
I then came to the conclusion this is pointless,
because today I'll kill myself and what will it matter?
Last week I tried a bottle of pills but -
couldn't fall asleep for fear that my nightmares
would finally have me.
Then there was the gun that misfired and left
a hole in the wall instead of my head.
I wonder if I haven't tried everything?
I wrote you letters goodbye, you still said hello.
I don't cook anymore, but you still bring dinner home.
I'd think you were conspiring against me,
but then I'd wonder if you even know.
The layers of dust on the books doesn't seem
to bother you like it did me.
And the broken razors in the blood stained bathtub
haven't kept you from showering.
I told you but you didn't listen,
I've been trying to kill mys
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Literature
Epiphany
Bruised flow of blood,
   it shows in dark places on my skin.
No way to stop myself once
   I'm on that path.
The self destruction is too sweet when -
   Heaven awaits for me.
And every day I move
   closer to a cold meltdown.
This used body heavy with reflection isn't me.
I'm underneath all this flesh,
   I'll find my way out.
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Literature
The Lost Wanderer of Atlantis
Don't trip me
Ive fallen down this dark staircase too many times before
Unhandled all this time
The dark plays in my mind only surface when I hear your name
Ive been alone here
Since I told you I couldn't be at your side, it was too far
Now Im just trying to lie
But it's hardest to lie to myself about the truth Ive only recently come to realize
Without you the poetry within me is dead
Unsent love letters
Litter the bottom of my box of secrets that I hide under my bed
At this point it's gone too far
I tell myself the reality is we would be too different now to come back
Know this though:
At the oceans side I should have stayed
I dream now of only water drowning me
Because I hear nothing else anymore but the crashing of waves
The laughter of freedom
Two barrels of spiced rum
Alone with you, for eternity at the seaside
We would have conquered the world, you and I
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Activity


  • Drinking: Whiskey
The Time I'm Spending Is Counterfeit

But I Won't Admit I've Lost The Point

I'm Just A Little Stuck In A Fixed Routine

And I'd Give Anything To Be Erased

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themyssing

Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Current Residence: The underside of a rusty slide.
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:iconurbanrural-photo:
UrbanRural-Photo Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:
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aodemir Featured By Owner May 5, 2013
hey, thanks :)
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:iconurbanrural-photo:
UrbanRural-Photo Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:
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UrbanRural-Photo Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav
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TheFoxAstronaut Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thanks kindly for the fave. :love:
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Xerolee Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the fave <3
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Kordan Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
chrz fr the fave dudette
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Tarrosiel Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2011
Thank you so so much for your support!!!! :love:
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:iconurbanrural-photo:
UrbanRural-Photo Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav: and the brilliant support.
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UrbanRural-Photo Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav: and you support.
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