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About Deviant Artist DerronMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
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Statistics 7 Deviations 88 Comments 34,082 Pageviews

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Why The Elves Win Every Year
The extravagant chamber of Team Magic sizzled with the sounds of potions and spellmaking. Witches and wizards of all shapes and sizes conjured sparks of magic in the air, magic flowing through the pages of every magic book and bottle. I would be more descriptive, but Disney copyrights are very specific in regards to this wonder and enchanting crap. Anyways, a man bearing a beard that could likely hide small children approached the podium. (Did I mention the podium? Cause it and the stage just totally appeared. Magic.)
"Alright people," spoke the man, "As you all know the Fantasy Games are coming up soon, and with our recent loss of Dumbledore, we're in a bad spot."
"Snape will pay for what he did!" shouted a young man to the left. His black hair was mangled and wild, and his green eyes burned with revenge. Also, there appeared to be a scar or something on his head. Freak.
"What? It was Snape? Well thanks for that little slip-up, Harry, now there's no point anymore" said Merlin, tossing
:iconthejoyfulturnip:TheJoyfulTurnip 20 19
Internet University The Fourth
(Waiting in line at Pin Number, Internet University's premiere student shopping facility, good friends Facebook and Twitter discuss the former's peaked interest in attending an art Forum being held on campus next week. The store is alive with a healthy buzzing of student chatter, and only the distant whispers of chaos indicate another political debate has erupted on the grounds. Again.)
Twitter: "I am telling you your layout is fine as is"
Facebook: "Are you kidding?  We're talking Forum types here Tweet! High class, none of this mindless bickering and inane chatter we put up with. It's not like they let just anyone join these things."
Twitter: "I am sure you've been through enough layouts already. I am doubting anyone will care at this Forum place. I still cant believe you're giving"
(Twitter freezes. Facebook nonchalantly pushes him slightly forward in line, to the bewilderment of students behind him. One of them timidly asks if Twitter has crashed, to which Faceb
:iconthejoyfulturnip:TheJoyfulTurnip 160 118
Internet University: Part III
(A warm day on campus, as per the unwritten laws of IU, fills the grounds with various mobs of students, chatting amongst themselves with not a sad emoticon in sight. Among them, weaving in and out of the crowded bandwidth, our hero Facebook seems to be surveying the area for something. His time alone is short lived, however, as he's soon spotted and charged by his hastily dressed younger brother. Stopping only briefly to show off his friends list to a group of attractive sunbathing Juniors ("Log off, creep!"), Myspace finds his way to Facebook, waving his arms around animatedly.)
Myspace: "F4c3b00K, bR0!!1 0v3R h3R3!"
Facebook: "Dangnabbit. Myspace I'm really busy with something. Can this wait until tonight or something?"
Myspace: "N0, dUd3, u d0n7 uNd3rs74nD! 1 n33d ur h3lP w17 s0m37h1nG"
Facebook: "I've already explained this to you, Myspace. That creepy guy Tom is not really you're friend. You should probably stop inviting him to things"
Myspace: "Wh47? N0 n07 7h47. 5
:iconthejoyfulturnip:TheJoyfulTurnip 184 101
Return to Internet University
(Huge groups of students quickly fill the lecture hall in preparation for yet another long day of learning at Internet University. Seated in a row far in the back of the classroom, a barely-awake Twitter waits patiently for his good friend Facebook to hang up his Chatbox)
Facebook: “No, I told you last night I haven’t seen it, remember? Look, man, if that thing’s that important to you you should go see Google about it. I have to go.”
Twitter: “I am wondering who that was”
Facebook: “Oh it was just Craig. He lost his stupid list again. I keep telling that guy to get more organized”
Twitter: “Tsh, Craig. I am remembering a few weeks ago when he tried to hook me up with some dog-walking gig and sell me an old copy of ‘Osmosis Jones’ at the same time”
Facebook: “That’s not even the half of it. One time he had this freakin’ hornet’s nest, right? And- oh crap here she comes! Here, uh, act like my last Stat
:iconthejoyfulturnip:TheJoyfulTurnip 240 73
From: The Man, Subject: TRUTH
National Aeronautics and Space Administration
Extraterrestrial Identification and Analysis Department
Annual Findings Report [Year 2009]

As per protocol, sir, here are all major discoveries of the past year. Far range sweeps came across a record number of organisms in the last two quarters. Mainly small patches of biomass and frozen skin cells, but some of the more advanced specimens are like nothing we’ve ever encountered. All subjects await inspection at your convenience down in Beta Labs.
Subject 520 “Big Eyes”
Characteristics: Bipedal and stout. Highly extendable neck and somewhat obscure appearance. Brown with bulging eyes.
Overview: Seemingly capable of human speech, subject makes use of basic mono-syllable words and hand gestures. Of note is its overly emphasized desire to “phone home.” [Perhaps indication of coming invasion?] Currently placed in catatonic lockdown after handler reported both innate telepathic ability as well as lum
:iconthejoyfulturnip:TheJoyfulTurnip 9 7
Something 90s This Way Comes
A stillness hung in the air as President Rhodes entered the room. Arthur Hammen, well respected general and good friend of Rhodes, quickly jolted from his seat as he heard the door creak. A sharp salute couldn’t hide the grim frown he wore on his face.
“Arthur, I do hope this matter requires a 3 am trip to the office. Janice wasn’t too happy when you rang”
“Sir, I can assure you this is of the utmost importance. I hope you excuse me if I just skip the formalities and dive straight in? You need to hear this”
Rhodes glanced over his old friend, then shuffled sleepily to his desk. His form shrunk as he collapsed into the soft cushions of his magenta chair. “Oh come now, General. You and I both know you were never one for formalities.”
“Right…ahem,” Hammen shifted wearily. “I’m not quite sure how to say this, so I’ll just be straight. What you are about to see is filed under the top tier of classification. Absolutely not
:iconthejoyfulturnip:TheJoyfulTurnip 14 10
Welcome to Internet University
As sunlight begins creeping over the dorms of Internet University, massive waves of students begin their daily routines, with IMing and long cafeteria load times abound. We join a scene in the bedroom of notable info-maniac personality Twitter as his roommate Facebook attempts to get him out of bed”
Facebook: "Twitter! Come on get up!"
Twitter: "I'm getting up! Stop poking me!"
Facebook: "Well hurry up! I could write four notes by the time you get ready"
Twitter: "Okay, I'm up. Now I'm putting on my sock"
Facebook: "I don't need the play by play, Tweet"
Twitter: "Dang, I can't find a good shirt. I'm now searching my closet. I’m still looking"
Facebook: "Seriously, man. So unnecessary"
Twitter: "Kinda like that layout change I caught you formatting last week."
Facebook: "Shut it! Myspace is comin' in"
Myspace: "H3y GuYs! I 4m t3h c00lz!"
Twitter: "I am confused. I am hoping FB understands what Myspace said"
Facebook: "Myspace, bro, I asked you not to do that"
:iconthejoyfulturnip:TheJoyfulTurnip 519 112


Ninja vs Pirate by CookiemagiK Ninja vs Pirate :iconcookiemagik:CookiemagiK 23,214 3,543 the internet by EatToast the internet :iconeattoast:EatToast 5,945 1,021 Buff Iroh by ElTheGeneral Buff Iroh :iconelthegeneral:ElTheGeneral 667 156 Dubai - Sharks love You by xMEGALOPOLISx Dubai - Sharks love You :iconxmegalopolisx:xMEGALOPOLISx 6,131 394 ::ALIENS vs Halo:: 2008 by martinhoulden ::ALIENS vs Halo:: 2008 :iconmartinhoulden:martinhoulden 2,922 491 Darth Vader by wraithdt Darth Vader :iconwraithdt:wraithdt 8,135 343 Dragon Dance by Silverkiwi78 Dragon Dance :iconsilverkiwi78:Silverkiwi78 288 113 Sideshow Bob by spacecoyote Sideshow Bob :iconspacecoyote:spacecoyote 11,229 0 Futurama: Super Happy Fun Show by spacecoyote Futurama: Super Happy Fun Show :iconspacecoyote:spacecoyote 74,002 0 BIOSHOCK CHARACTER SKETCHES by Pirate-Cashoo BIOSHOCK CHARACTER SKETCHES :iconpirate-cashoo:Pirate-Cashoo 3,062 626 SANDER COHEN by Pirate-Cashoo SANDER COHEN :iconpirate-cashoo:Pirate-Cashoo 3,220 509 thor... cow by nebezial thor... cow :iconnebezial:nebezial 2,626 395 Bioshock - TonariNo Big Daddy by ARNie00 Bioshock - TonariNo Big Daddy :iconarnie00:ARNie00 1,153 102 the shining commission by strongstuff the shining commission :iconstrongstuff:strongstuff 1,090 102 Boba Fett by LivioRamondelli Boba Fett :iconlivioramondelli:LivioRamondelli 1,485 95



United States
Hmmm... where to start where to start. I know! First let me tell any of you out there with interest to know that I am not by any definition an artist. The last thing I drew in its entirety scarred my sister for life, which despite being funny at the time is now not so amusing as I reluctantly recieve monthly therapy bills.

With my art dreams abandoned and lacking any skills whatsoever in art's sworn enemy of mathematics, I was forced to turn to the often overlooked and even more often disregarded academic leftovers: writing. But my parents can't be right, can they? There's money and fame to be had in the written word, right? I mean Poe...died a delirious, lonely man...erm...but Twain! Twain was hugely popular and...was horribly depressed, to the point where he welcomed death in public....

Well. I'm screwed.

Current Residence: USA! USA!
Favourite genre of music: Alternative rock. Alternative paper and scissors optional.
Favourite photographer: Todd. He got a picture of Mew, for Pete's sake
Favourite style of art: love anime-ish style. Also insanely surreal stuff
Operating System: XP. Currently down to only 1 virus. HECK YEA!
MP3 player of choice: Well I have an iPod so lets go with that, mmk?
Shell of choice: Sea. Yay nice sounds!
Wallpaper of choice: Neon green so I can scare the neighbors
Skin of choice: my own. Preferrably still on my living body
Favourite cartoon character: Eric Cartman/ Sideshow Bob
Personal Quote: "the early worm dies"
[Pre-Journal Entry Note: There is currently a banner at the top of my screen that encourages me to "Make Babies!" through some sort of viru-I mean photo manipulation software. I find this possibly the least entertaining way to make babies imaginable. Unless...nope still the worst]

HEY GUYS! I know, right? I'm totally not dead! Crazy! Smilie for dramatic effect! =O Average reader face! -_-

So I could bore you all with a story of where I've been these past...holy crap, OCTOBER. That was the last time I posted something?? Crap, I've been slacking off, and you know what I'm gonna do about it? New stuff flying your way tommorrow! Hell yeah, Derron's back in the game now, and not just hyper on Cinnamon Toast Crunch! Not this time! Okay...slightly.

So what's happening, everybody? I heard it's a new year now; we're out of the ones. That's some trippy stuff. Has anyone but me actually thought about that? We're living in 2010. That's the year that everyone back in the 80s and early 90s would reference as, like, the dawn of the moon colonies and flying ice cream men and robot mercenaries. We kinda, didnt make it to any of those, but...uh...we've got monkey waiters in Japan! Advancement!!

On an entirely unrelated tangent, a couple people have recently awarded me llamas. Thanks! But now I'm not sure how to respond. Do I give a llama back? Do I breed them and sell the offspring? Do I ride them into the night, off to liberate yet another oppressed Mexican villa to the tune of a passionate Latin rhythm? I do hope it's the last one, I would like a taco.
  • Listening to: Don't Stop Believin'- You know who it is
  • Reading: Atlas Shrugged. 1000 pages. 1-0-0-0 pages.
  • Watching: YOU
  • Playing: Battlefield:Bad Company 2. Blackhawk ftw.
  • Eating: Bees, wait no thats the cereal talking...oh god


Add a Comment:
Azureboy Featured By Owner May 15, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
dis guy
nuvemallama Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi. I'm :iconelontirien:'s little sister, Lauren. Remember me?
axslayer33 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You. I like you.
commentor3000 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
shaolinfan1 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dude, what happened? I wanna see DA and FB hook up! It's been 3 years! Hope you'll get back on your muse soon. :(
Hannahbelle-the-Mink Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Seriously bro, have you disappeared from us, yet again? I really can't wait for that next Internet University!
jojoDevill Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012
I actually ship DeviantART/Facebook now~ Can't wait to see more of Internet University!
Yoshifan618 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012
Alas, you are dead again
LaCiCi Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You have not worked on the IU in two years. OuO I really wanna see the dA character though o3o XD
Likes-2-draw Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011
I just read your Internet University story, and I must say that I really enjoyed reading it! I really enjoy the cast and characters! Excellent work!
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