I was mid writing a journal on DA about how I was looking forward to the end of the month and how I was going to try to change how I am as an artist, spending more time on each piece, making things that truly feel like art, working with others to try to make an artistic story narrative with different pieces and so on. I kept minimizing the window because of work, then a friend asked why all my messages got flagged as spam and other asked why messages he put on a journal came up as spam, then I saw the ban, and I dont know how 8:45 am became 11:57am, I worked and did things (like sending an appeal) but I mentally clocked out and I don't know where or what I really did in that time. It was oddly surreal. To see three years of work just gone, it was both eye opening and numbing. For the First few minutes as I looked at the screen I thought I was hacked. Or someone was pissed at me for something and decided to get revenge.

October has long been my most favorite time of year, but this year I've been sick all of it (flu twice), stressed, depressed and now I've been more on edge then I have been in 3 years (when I had a reaction to a medication that made me hyper paranoid)....

I don't know if I will enjoy October anymore... That said, it was just a bad time this year and maybe next year will be better

That all said, I do have a personal site in the works and am looking into a few other DA like sites for new gallery options. I am working on a few ideas on how to improve my work and I am looking for any feedback anyone might have to help me improve because I know I can do better.

A quick thing that MUST be said. Thank you to all the people that have contacted me here, on discord, tumblr and facebook with your concerns and your encouragement, you are all the best part of my week, no, of this month, for me and I say this from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you.

I spent a few hours getting my gallery back in order but it will take a while for me to go and watch all the sweet artists that I use to watch.

Now for you viewing pleasure, I will give you all a copy of the journal I was working on when the ban hit, Enjoy.

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Going to be taking the 31st off of work, like I normally do, but other then posting the end of Manip Madness. I have no real plans in place.

Any ideas?

I know after the 31st I will be taking my manips in a different direction (addressing the complaint of not spending enough time on them, or other minor grievances) that will hopefully turn out a much higher quality then what I currently do. Things need to change a bit, I know I can do better and you all deserve better. I'd like to work with some other artists and maybe make some larger pieces, like something with a story narrative or something.

I would also like to do more streams. Any thoughts?

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Then the hammer fell. It has been an interesting few days.

But I'm looking forward. I am still pissed I missed posting some of Manip Madness but I'm going to just dump it all on the 31st, trust me, its going to be a hell of a Halloween bash.

I will leave you all with these final thoughts:

It's fitting this happened in October because rising from the dead account back to life again is so horror like that I in retrospect love it.

And now some dark humor: