This anguish is beginning to consume me
Completely.
I don’t know how much longer
I can endure
The pain,
Hopelessness
And desperation
Of this sham
This futile existence
That is my life.
As I sit alone
And wait for the end
No release comes.
Only waves of sorrow now
Ebb and flow
Within my soul
As I drown inside.
Slowly,
Deliberately,
The murky water devours me
As I sink
Down
Down
Down
Beneath the surface.
TheDreadfulPencil
Suffer Express RepeatNewest Deviations
Freefall
TheDreadfulPencil
2
0
Wounded
TheDreadfulPencil
7
6
Rotten from the inside out
TheDreadfulPencil
41
13
Ford GT40
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9
7
Gazing into infinity
TheDreadfulPencil
13
2
Witnessing the unthinkable
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11
2
Journeys End
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12
4
Dont Look Now
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Hotel room secrets
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Grief
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Too painful to stay, too frightened to leave
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True evil always hides under a guise of normalcy
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16
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The unending suffering of man
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18
5
Portrait of a young woman with Congenital Syphilis
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Aftermath
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Sold - To the man at the back
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A homage to Henry Tonks (5)
TheDreadfulPencil
10
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A homage to Henry Tonks (4)
TheDreadfulPencil
6
0
A homage to Henry Tonks (3)
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11
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A homage to Henry Tonks (2)
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19
A homage to Henry Tonks
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13
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New Directions?
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20
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holiday pic 3
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2
Mature content
The path is chosen.
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3
2
Mature content
Coming to an end?
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Pris and J.F. Sebastian
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We are the dead
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How'd you like some ice cream, Doc?
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Patrick McGoohan as Number Six
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untitled 434
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Mature content
untitled 377
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Random from Dreadful Writing
Literature
Drowning on the inside
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
2
0
Literature
The Cavern
Deep below the surface
Far beneath the gaze of the sun
The frosty cavern holds me prisoner.
Its dark emptiness
Has shattered my soul
Into a thousand icy pieces.
They fall in silence
And pierce the ground,
Letting the blood of the planet
Seep up through the wounds
In a mighty chorus of anguish.
Far beneath the gaze of the sun
The frosty cavern holds me prisoner.
Its dark emptiness
Has shattered my soul
Into a thousand icy pieces.
They fall in silence
And pierce the ground,
Letting the blood of the planet
Seep up through the wounds
In a mighty chorus of anguish.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
1
0
Literature
The inner storm
Storm clouds gather within my mind
And my heart begins to rain.
Spitting on my soul with stinging drops
As dark bolts of memory flash with pain.
When I waken from my haunted dreams
And peer outside with lonely eyes
Is the world I see a reflection of myself
Or the cold, dark image of lies?
Is night time just the day in the dark?
Or do primal forces once hidden appear
To envelop my pounding heart and soul
In their silent dimensions of fear.
And my heart begins to rain.
Spitting on my soul with stinging drops
As dark bolts of memory flash with pain.
When I waken from my haunted dreams
And peer outside with lonely eyes
Is the world I see a reflection of myself
Or the cold, dark image of lies?
Is night time just the day in the dark?
Or do primal forces once hidden appear
To envelop my pounding heart and soul
In their silent dimensions of fear.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
1
0
Literature
A Silent Cry
Sat alone in my room,
My soul cries out;
Help…
Me…
Please…..
But help doesn’t come
And the only relief I receive
Is the numbness of exhausted tears.
I feel so alone
And sick to death of this dirty puddle of a life
Of which the final erasing
Alone, gives me comfort.
My soul cries out;
Help…
Me…
Please…..
But help doesn’t come
And the only relief I receive
Is the numbness of exhausted tears.
I feel so alone
And sick to death of this dirty puddle of a life
Of which the final erasing
Alone, gives me comfort.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
4
3
Literature
When nourishment isn't enough
I drank the remains of my happiness a long time ago
And now live like a shadow.
Sorrow, regret
And unfulfilled dreams
Haunt me in my sleep
And sometimes
No….
Often
Creep up during the day.
How much longer can I face
These imaginary memories
Of a life I didn’t choose
Couldn’t choose
Or even refuse.
The meal set before me is cold.
I've been eating off the same plate for years
And the menu doesn’t change;
Not even on special occasions.
Will I always have to eat fruit from the tree
I planted years ago?
Even when over-ripe
Or my tastes change?
Sometimes I would rather starve.
And now live like a shadow.
Sorrow, regret
And unfulfilled dreams
Haunt me in my sleep
And sometimes
No….
Often
Creep up during the day.
How much longer can I face
These imaginary memories
Of a life I didn’t choose
Couldn’t choose
Or even refuse.
The meal set before me is cold.
I've been eating off the same plate for years
And the menu doesn’t change;
Not even on special occasions.
Will I always have to eat fruit from the tree
I planted years ago?
Even when over-ripe
Or my tastes change?
Sometimes I would rather starve.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
4
0
Literature
Comets leave a lonely trail
I can feel you.
Your pull is strong
And draws me towards the hidden realms of your unhappiness.
Though apart now
Our mutual suffering
Has created an invisible bond
That connects
And unites our emptiness
With an unseen tie.
The paths we both travel
May cross some unforeseen time
And then
Together
We’ll continue the remainder of our journey.
This orbit I move within is hard and narrow,
Yet night after night I search the heavens
For a glimpse of your trail,
So that I might fly up
And join you.
Then together we’ll blaze across the galaxy
With the energy of a thousand suns.
Until then I’ll continue to watch and wait
With a patience borne of sorrow
And an acceptance carved from pain.
I cannot flee from this destiny before me
And my actions must be resolved
Before I can be free to fly.
Your pull is strong
And draws me towards the hidden realms of your unhappiness.
Though apart now
Our mutual suffering
Has created an invisible bond
That connects
And unites our emptiness
With an unseen tie.
The paths we both travel
May cross some unforeseen time
And then
Together
We’ll continue the remainder of our journey.
This orbit I move within is hard and narrow,
Yet night after night I search the heavens
For a glimpse of your trail,
So that I might fly up
And join you.
Then together we’ll blaze across the galaxy
With the energy of a thousand suns.
Until then I’ll continue to watch and wait
With a patience borne of sorrow
And an acceptance carved from pain.
I cannot flee from this destiny before me
And my actions must be resolved
Before I can be free to fly.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
4
9
Literature
Fighting Life
The war between dreams and reality
Is being fought across the spectrum of humanity.
Battles can be seen in the fall of every tear,
And bloody skirmishes take place in every sigh.
There can be only one victor…
Life!
It will scoop you out moment by moment
Until there is nothing left to extract,
And only reality remains.
Is being fought across the spectrum of humanity.
Battles can be seen in the fall of every tear,
And bloody skirmishes take place in every sigh.
There can be only one victor…
Life!
It will scoop you out moment by moment
Until there is nothing left to extract,
And only reality remains.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
2
0
Literature
Time's End
My mind like a laser beam
Shoots out towards the shore.
And a sad old man with broken dreams
Stoops down to pick a penny from the floor.
Strange galactic energy shapes suddenly crash land
In the hidden glass room that life cannot shatter
As the old man, penny still warm in his hand
Dies with a smile; he knows it doesn’t matter.
He knows now that times end is the beginning
That his life isn’t all
And somewhere in his mind he hears a diamond bell ringing
As his tired old body in slow motion falls.
His journey to the eternal
Began an eternity ago.
His forever is internal
In his mind, not the show.
Shoots out towards the shore.
And a sad old man with broken dreams
Stoops down to pick a penny from the floor.
Strange galactic energy shapes suddenly crash land
In the hidden glass room that life cannot shatter
As the old man, penny still warm in his hand
Dies with a smile; he knows it doesn’t matter.
He knows now that times end is the beginning
That his life isn’t all
And somewhere in his mind he hears a diamond bell ringing
As his tired old body in slow motion falls.
His journey to the eternal
Began an eternity ago.
His forever is internal
In his mind, not the show.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
1
0
Literature
The World's Gone Mad
The world’s gone mad
The world’s gone mad
Start digging holes for fun and call it a fad
If you don’t believe me then you won’t be sad
When I tell you over and over
That the world’s gone mad.
The world’s insane
The world’s insane
Raise up your arms and pretend you’re a crane
Lift up all the people with your articulated brain
As I shout down from the roof tops
That the world’s insane.
The world’s in a mess
The world’s in a mess
Cheat nobody but yourself, then go and confess
Stuff your face for years on end, then try and eat less
As I mumble with my mouth full
That the world’s in a mess
The world’s gone mad
Start digging holes for fun and call it a fad
If you don’t believe me then you won’t be sad
When I tell you over and over
That the world’s gone mad.
The world’s insane
The world’s insane
Raise up your arms and pretend you’re a crane
Lift up all the people with your articulated brain
As I shout down from the roof tops
That the world’s insane.
The world’s in a mess
The world’s in a mess
Cheat nobody but yourself, then go and confess
Stuff your face for years on end, then try and eat less
As I mumble with my mouth full
That the world’s in a mess
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
0
0
Literature
Where do you lie sweetheart?
Where do you lie sweetheart?
Where do you rest your delicate head
When you haunt my sleep so
In fragile dreams?
Is it special communication;
Haunted love?
Do you love, lady of my soul?
Does your softly beating heart yearn too
For its mate
Its twin
For me?
Will I see you, will we meet?
In this shifting world where we sleep with open eyes
Only to waken closed.
Or will we remain distant, each with separate lives, different loves?
Apart yet communicating silently across space.
Through time.
Apart, yet always together.
Alas, two hands need to be apart to perform work
Though sometimes they may come together as one
In contemplation.
Is this then what we are?
Sun and Moon, night and day.
I wait then for our eclipse.
Goodbye for now precious one.
One day we will walk side by side.
Perhaps a different place,
A different life
But we will meet.
To be sure.
We will meet.
Where do you rest your delicate head
When you haunt my sleep so
In fragile dreams?
Is it special communication;
Haunted love?
Do you love, lady of my soul?
Does your softly beating heart yearn too
For its mate
Its twin
For me?
Will I see you, will we meet?
In this shifting world where we sleep with open eyes
Only to waken closed.
Or will we remain distant, each with separate lives, different loves?
Apart yet communicating silently across space.
Through time.
Apart, yet always together.
Alas, two hands need to be apart to perform work
Though sometimes they may come together as one
In contemplation.
Is this then what we are?
Sun and Moon, night and day.
I wait then for our eclipse.
Goodbye for now precious one.
One day we will walk side by side.
Perhaps a different place,
A different life
But we will meet.
To be sure.
We will meet.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
2
3
Literature
Forever comes easy
Open your eyes, see with your mind
Soar to the heavens
Don’t stay behind.
Rescue an insect, save your own soul
Live in the present
Make it your goal.
Cry like a mourner but laugh like a child
Feel your emotions
Don’t be so mild.
Be frightened of nothing, from the big to the small
Your mind cannot die
So walk firm and stand tall.
Know when to change things and know when to stop
You need wisdom to help you
When your bubble goes pop.
You’re part of infinity, this isn’t a lie
Forever comes easy
There’s no need to try.
Soar to the heavens
Don’t stay behind.
Rescue an insect, save your own soul
Live in the present
Make it your goal.
Cry like a mourner but laugh like a child
Feel your emotions
Don’t be so mild.
Be frightened of nothing, from the big to the small
Your mind cannot die
So walk firm and stand tall.
Know when to change things and know when to stop
You need wisdom to help you
When your bubble goes pop.
You’re part of infinity, this isn’t a lie
Forever comes easy
There’s no need to try.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
1
0
Literature
Life
Watch and be bored
Sit and be still.
Projections from the corner
Come and get your fill.
Listen but don’t learn
Cry with false emotion,
The things you see
The things you don’t
Are filled with numbing lotion.
Eat when you’re not hungry
Drink without a thirst,
The best that you can ever do
Is always someone’s worst.
Dance with all the masses
Follow another’s beat,
Walk in someone else’s shoes
But don’t stand on my feet.
Work till you’ve no fingers
Die a living death,
Struggle hard throughout your life
Till you’ve run out of breath.
Pray for all the sinners
And curse them through your teeth,
Always wear your Sunday face
Then spit on someone’s wreath.
Sob like you’re a baby
When things don’t go your way,
Wear your heart for all to see
You know it’s you who’ll pay.
Laugh to show you’re happy
When inside all is pain,
Let others push your buttons
And drag you by the reigns.
Strive always to be honest
Lie
Sit and be still.
Projections from the corner
Come and get your fill.
Listen but don’t learn
Cry with false emotion,
The things you see
The things you don’t
Are filled with numbing lotion.
Eat when you’re not hungry
Drink without a thirst,
The best that you can ever do
Is always someone’s worst.
Dance with all the masses
Follow another’s beat,
Walk in someone else’s shoes
But don’t stand on my feet.
Work till you’ve no fingers
Die a living death,
Struggle hard throughout your life
Till you’ve run out of breath.
Pray for all the sinners
And curse them through your teeth,
Always wear your Sunday face
Then spit on someone’s wreath.
Sob like you’re a baby
When things don’t go your way,
Wear your heart for all to see
You know it’s you who’ll pay.
Laugh to show you’re happy
When inside all is pain,
Let others push your buttons
And drag you by the reigns.
Strive always to be honest
Lie
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
2
2
Literature
Full of it
Something has dried me up and left me empty
But full somehow
Full of shit.
Think I can change the world
With my chakra powered cosmic forcefield of Universal Mind?.......
The New age saw me coming.
Let’s all say our prayers, and everything will be alright.
God bless mummy and daddy and all God’s creatures
(Especially the ones you had for dinner).
All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small.
All things weak and eatable
The Lard God made them all.
But full somehow
Full of shit.
Think I can change the world
With my chakra powered cosmic forcefield of Universal Mind?.......
The New age saw me coming.
Let’s all say our prayers, and everything will be alright.
God bless mummy and daddy and all God’s creatures
(Especially the ones you had for dinner).
All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small.
All things weak and eatable
The Lard God made them all.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
1
4
Literature
For the kids
Switch on the telly mum
Look what’s on!
A million crazy ‘Elmers’
Chasing rabbits with a gun.
The latest car…..“Ooh look at that!”
Big engine, alloy wheels….. bank loan
What a nasty trap
To get yourself into.
Dad comes in; he’s been out for a beer
Mum hardly sees him at all.
Feels like he’s been away for a year
As he kicks off his boots in the hall.
“I’ll give you a bloody good hiding son, if you
don’t get out of my sight!
I’m watching T.V. There’s boxing on tonight”
And I only wanted to play cars.
Tomorrow evening comes and it’s always the same
Blood, guts and Birdseye
What a crying shame.
Look what’s on!
A million crazy ‘Elmers’
Chasing rabbits with a gun.
The latest car…..“Ooh look at that!”
Big engine, alloy wheels….. bank loan
What a nasty trap
To get yourself into.
Dad comes in; he’s been out for a beer
Mum hardly sees him at all.
Feels like he’s been away for a year
As he kicks off his boots in the hall.
“I’ll give you a bloody good hiding son, if you
don’t get out of my sight!
I’m watching T.V. There’s boxing on tonight”
And I only wanted to play cars.
Tomorrow evening comes and it’s always the same
Blood, guts and Birdseye
What a crying shame.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
2
0
Literature
The hidden things we cannot see
I walk hidden among you
And stride with electronic feet.
There is no way you can see me
I move to a different beat.
I’m with you while you’re eating
You devour me when you speak.
I’m part of the very air you breathe
And in the blood you leak.
Running would be useless
Hiding doesn’t work
Everywhere you look around
Is everywhere I lurk.
Sleep time holds no safety
Your silent dreams are mine.
I’m made of numbers as are you
Reversed I’m three times nine.
You don’t know life without me
And perhaps you never will
My grip is strong, my eyes are many
A very bitter pill.
And stride with electronic feet.
There is no way you can see me
I move to a different beat.
I’m with you while you’re eating
You devour me when you speak.
I’m part of the very air you breathe
And in the blood you leak.
Running would be useless
Hiding doesn’t work
Everywhere you look around
Is everywhere I lurk.
Sleep time holds no safety
Your silent dreams are mine.
I’m made of numbers as are you
Reversed I’m three times nine.
You don’t know life without me
And perhaps you never will
My grip is strong, my eyes are many
A very bitter pill.
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
1
0
Literature
Tiny Patient
Little bluebottle you were face down and floating,
Struggling for life to the last.
Almost swallowed by my dog's thirsty mouth
I sensed you were alive, I moved fast.
As you clung on for life to the last.
Tiny and weak on my finger,
I prayed I wasn’t too late.
With soft breath I tried gently to dry you,
Both our lives joined together by fate.
And I gave thanks I wasn’t too late.
The life of a housefly is tricky
Hated by most and for why?
I couldn’t just leave you to drown there,
I couldn’t just leave you to die.
So in a safe place I left you to dry.
After a short while I came back to see you,
To check you had regained your strength.
But somehow by helping I’d folded
Your tiny left wing down its length.
And irony had taken your strength.
In horror and dismay I cursed now
My clumsy attempt at rescue.
Seeing you there made my heart weep,
I knew deep down what I must do.
All because of my clumsy rescue.
At first you were reluctant to trust me,
And see past the
Struggling for life to the last.
Almost swallowed by my dog's thirsty mouth
I sensed you were alive, I moved fast.
As you clung on for life to the last.
Tiny and weak on my finger,
I prayed I wasn’t too late.
With soft breath I tried gently to dry you,
Both our lives joined together by fate.
And I gave thanks I wasn’t too late.
The life of a housefly is tricky
Hated by most and for why?
I couldn’t just leave you to drown there,
I couldn’t just leave you to die.
So in a safe place I left you to dry.
After a short while I came back to see you,
To check you had regained your strength.
But somehow by helping I’d folded
Your tiny left wing down its length.
And irony had taken your strength.
In horror and dismay I cursed now
My clumsy attempt at rescue.
Seeing you there made my heart weep,
I knew deep down what I must do.
All because of my clumsy rescue.
At first you were reluctant to trust me,
And see past the
TheDreadfulPencil TheDreadfulPencil
2
5
A homage to Henry Tonks
A lifetime of war
TheDreadfulPencil
11
3
A homage to Henry Tonks 11
TheDreadfulPencil
18
27
Henry Tonks
TheDreadfulPencil
6
4
A homage to Henry Tonks (10)
TheDreadfulPencil
7
0
A homage to Henry Tonks (9)
TheDreadfulPencil
13
0
A homage to Henry Tonks (8)
TheDreadfulPencil
5
8
A homage to Henry Tonks (7)
TheDreadfulPencil
9
0
A homage to Henry Tonks (6)
TheDreadfulPencil
10
1
A homage to Henry Tonks (5)
TheDreadfulPencil
10
0
A homage to Henry Tonks (4)
TheDreadfulPencil
6
0
A homage to Henry Tonks (3)
TheDreadfulPencil
11
8
A homage to Henry Tonks (2)
TheDreadfulPencil
9
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A homage to Henry Tonks
TheDreadfulPencil
13
7
We are the dead
4 Comments
Gogo
Patrick McGoohan as Number Six
Melancholia
Joseph 'John' Merrick
Sir Anthony Hopkins as Frederick Treves
Jane Seymour 'Somewhere in time'
David Aames
Frank
Take your stinking paws off me...
Visitors
- Feb 16, 2019 @ 4:30 amFleshh
- Feb 16, 2019 @ 2:46 amdying-cat
- Feb 16, 2019 @ 2:10 amEmiDrawing
- Feb 15, 2019 @ 5:36 pmsingle-leg
- Feb 15, 2019 @ 3:39 pmFP07
deviantID
Comments
You’ve really developed as an artist since I last saw your work. It’s very good to see how much you have improved.
Thanks for the comments on my latest.
Just wanted to do a painting without blue.
Grand Opening is as close as I get to erotic art, although to paraphrase Freud, sometimes a dome is just a dome.
Just wanted to do a painting without blue.
Grand Opening is as close as I get to erotic art, although to paraphrase Freud, sometimes a dome is just a dome.
