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Deviant for 3 Years
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Dji'nai by TheDangerCat Dji'nai :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 39 0 Back To The Cool Stuff by TheDangerCat Back To The Cool Stuff :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 251 28 HTS2 - Neon - Pg.1 by TheDangerCat HTS2 - Neon - Pg.1 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 25 7 HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.8 by TheDangerCat HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.8 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 58 2 HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.7 by TheDangerCat HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.7 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 81 3 HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.6 by TheDangerCat HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.6 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 59 12 HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.5 by TheDangerCat HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.5 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 54 6 HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.4 by TheDangerCat HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.4 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 50 7 HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.3 by TheDangerCat HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.3 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 95 8 HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.2 by TheDangerCat HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.2 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 57 11 HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.1 by TheDangerCat HTS - Life Is Good - Pt.1 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 61 6 HTS - Satyr - Pt.3 - Censored by TheDangerCat HTS - Satyr - Pt.3 - Censored :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 58 29 HTS - Satyr - Pt.2 by TheDangerCat HTS - Satyr - Pt.2 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 71 10 HTS - Satyr - Pt.1 by TheDangerCat HTS - Satyr - Pt.1 :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 66 4 The Biggening by TheDangerCat
Mature content
The Biggening :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 199 29
Newer Minogal by TheDangerCat Newer Minogal :iconthedangercat:TheDangerCat 435 34

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TheDangerCat

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Okay, so I'm sorry about spamming with all the drama. It wasn't really my intention to make a big deal out of this but my judgement has been clouded by angry, despondent and depressed thoughts as of late.

My fault. Mea maxima culpa.

My intention with what I've written so far and keeping it sparse was because I didn't want to set in stone why I want to give up on the "DangerCat TF-TG Artist Thing." Some part of me was hoping that if I kept it on a downlow, I could just sail this out in silence. But in this wrecked state I am in, I forgot that the people following me were also humans. Humans with concerns, emotions and lives to lead.

So here's a detailed explanation.


Starting off with a definition of the "DangerCat TF-TG Artist Thing."


So there's this thing about internet fame and internet anonymity. I'm sure there's an academic term for it, but I'm gonna call it my "persona-image." DangerCat is just my persona-image, there are things I do in real life that will never affect DangerCat and there are things I do as DangerCat that never affects my real life. Because of the raunchy nature of what I draw and the questions I'd rather not answer to people I meet in my real life, I have to constantly keep a clear line between my persona-image and myself.

That means that some of my favourite pictures online are things I desperately want to show everyone I know in real life, but I just can't. And inversely, I can't act in certain ways online that I'd do in real life, because getting into internet fights is pointless, stressful and damaging to the financial value of my persona-image.

So when I say "I want to end the DangerCat thing," what I mean is that I want to leave this page and start fresh somewhere else. I don't want to stop drawing. I just want to stop drawing as DangerCat.

Okay, but why do I want to do that?


There are more than just a handful of reasons and one of them directly linked to what I wrote above is the stress of having to juggle two identities.

But probably the largest reason is that I'm sick of TF.

I'm sick of drawing it. I'm sick of consuming it. I'm sick of the fans. I'm sick of the artists. I'm sick of writing it. I'm utterly fucking sick and tired of everything surrounding it.

I haven't felt creatively challenged by drawing or writing the subject for almost the entire year, but it was in May that I started to REALLY feel that I absolutely did not want to keep doing this. And that isn't a feeling that just popped up on May 5th and then stuck. No, it's been growing. It's been growing consistently. Starting with just some disinterest in working on sequences and comics. Then budding to feeling bored with other people's TF art. Then continuing to grow into resentment towards my own creations.

But it was not because I felt dissatisfied with the result or I didn't enjoy drawing them. I like drawing. Drawing is one of my favourite things to do. But the reason I've started to hate what I do is because of the limitations of TF.

You have a subject. Then you gotta depict the change of that subject into some new kind of form. Then you have the subject in a new form.

That's TF.

You can fancy it up however you want. You can create deep and wonderful stories with characters that make you laugh and cry. You can make the most gorgeous art for it. But it's the same framework.

You have a subject. Then you gotta depict the change of that subject into some new kind of form. Then you have the subject in a new form.

That framework has killed my creative spark. I have one sequence, one mini-comic and the Neon Comic in the pipeline right now and I DO NOT want to work on them. I don't want to work on anything TF-related (except for two things, but that's for later). I have no creative energy to complete the sequence even though it's been half-done for a week. Same for the mini-comic which is about half-done as well.

And as for Neon, which I was hoping would be my magnum opus, I have two more pages inked and if it wasn't for the awesome visual style, I wouldn't even consider finishing those two pages. But that's probably all that will be done for that comic.

That... hurts...

It hurts that I hate this stuff so much now and it hurts even more that I have to kill off some of those projects in order to prevent even more hurt.

But the whole "sick of TF thing" goes well beyond just what I've written so far. Here's the deal: I love drawing. I've spent too much time doing it and learning about it to just give up. And even though working on the most recent things has been tough, it's also been enjoyable to actually do. The act of drawing is self-rewarding in itself even though what I am drawing is something I now resent. But what I resent more than just the subject that I am drawing is that DangerCat has become an obligation for me.

I draw because I like drawing, but because I am DangerCat, I'm expected to draw TF or cute girls or whatever else is associated with DangerCat. So when I sit down to draw, I have become obligated to draw as DangerCat. That obligation is yet another thing that have burnt up my passion. It's not like I feel like "this is a job and I hate my job." It's that I feel like my freedom to express myself and my desires to grow as an artist are all restricted by the ever-present expectation that what I present has to conform to what DangerCat would normally draw.

DangerCat and I are now more different and separate than we have ever been.

There is a lot, lot more, but when I wrote it down I realized that most of that reflects really poorly on me.


I've realized as a result of doing this for nearly four years, that I have prejudices and expectations that are on a whole unreasonable. Especially since for every nine people that piss me off, there is always that one wonderful artist or fan that light up my day. And as I was writing I figured out that I was painting all ten of you in the same colour.

In short and with less salt, there are people in the TFTG community that are the best ever. But the majority are people I don't have the character strength to deal with anymore. And those people, fans and artists, as a majority have the most power to shape the community and community culture into something I hate.

That's a personal failing of mine though. Most other artists seem to deal with this fine. But I'm not most other artists. And I've tried to work on this for the four years I've run as a TFTG/erotica artist. And I have gotten better, but my frustrations have also gotten stronger. It's an uphill bike ride that have made me better at cycling but at the same time the hill is just getting steeper.

And I'm just so tired of it.

That's why I killed the comment sections.

So if you asked me today what I want to do next, I'd say "kill the DangerCat persona-image."


I don't want to draw TF anymore.

I don't want to deal with the community anymore.

I don't want to juggle two identities that on the whole can't work together anymore.

I started doing this stuff as a college graduate in new town with no prospects. I just knew I wanted to become a better artist because in college I realized that I had wasted so many years not training and studying art properly. Doing art as DangerCat has taught me so much and I'm happy and thankful for the opportunity of doing that. But the personal cost of acting as DangerCat isn't worth the diminishing opportunities to grow as an artist at this point.

I feel satisfied with my current skill level. Just two years ago I'd never say I was a "good artist," but today I know that I'm a good artist, because my art is good and I know I'm improving because I know what held me back.

I won't quit drawing. But I might quit DangerCat. 

I still enjoy working on the Gateworld with Pen and the TF elements in that are so distant for us that it doesn't really matter. And then there is a new comic project that also has a few scant bits of TF, but they're not integral.

And even if I do quit DangerCat, I'd start something new, somewhere else and I'd probably invite you all to follow it.

But I'm gonna give it until August 17th until I make my final decision.

Activity


Cease and desist all interactions with Chan-boards.
The Trump Administration is proposing fascist bills, Theresa May's cabinet is dissolving, Swedish Moderates (a right-wing party) are leaving their party in favour of the Leftists, and the Youtube atheist/sceptic community are praising a Christian demagogue.

What the FUCK is happening right now?
Everytime I express my (negative) opinion on Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines, it summons dark energies.
And I thought Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines was a crass, sexist and shitty game.

Comments


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:iconluna1071996:
LUNA1071996 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2018  Student Artist
Can I ask you a question?
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(1 Reply)
:icondevi-devi5:
devi-devi5 Featured By Owner May 24, 2018
 Not sure if you care, but TotalBiscuit died today. His cancer became inoperable as of May 1 and he’s been dying slowly ever since. I know you’re not exactly his biggest fan, but it’s still a shame considering the things in gaming he’s contributed to.
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(1 Reply)
:iconnothingsp:
nothingsp Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2018
Thanks for the favorite!
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(1 Reply)
:iconpaitent115:
Paitent115 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello there, a few days ago. I did the MarchNeedMoms thread but some odd reason... my picture not on the tread
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(1 Reply)
:iconmpcreativearts:
MPCreativeArts Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi there darlin'! Thank you for the fave! If interested, I've got special commissions running in the hopes of raising money for a new computer. Info can be found here! Growing out of everything! Please read! Important! by MPCreativeArts
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(1 Reply)
:iconbioyugi:
BioYuGi Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Not sure if you've seen this, but it reminded me of your MNM movement: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh75XW…
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(1 Reply)
:iconplumpiebombshell:
PlumpieBombshell Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2018
Hiiii
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(1 Reply)
:iconunknown2nd:
Unknown2nd Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2018
Hey, I don’t suppose you take commissions? 
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(1 Reply)
:iconkaiza-tg:
KAIZA-TG Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the watch! :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconchronorin:
Chronorin Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!
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(1 Reply)
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