literature

Drowning Lessons V

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By TheCoriful
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Literature Text

Drowning Lessons

Chapter 5

This time, we put up our instruments in the living room, having shoved away the couch and the table into the corner, so we had more room to play. I had left my amp and e-guitar at the Way's so I brought my acoustic, and in my mind I had the image of Gerard playing their old guitar… which made me think of him playing my e-guitar too… which made me dizzy, so I just brought my other, old e-guitar, too. Maybe I was lucky…

While Mikey and I pulled my amp and guitar into the living room, Gerard sat down on the floor and grabbed Mikey's bass, plucking on its strings randomly, listening to the sound of each fading tone with an intensity that made me shiver and look away quickly. But I couldn't turn away for long; I had to watch him again.

I knew I was staring, but it couldn't be helped, I just had to look. He sighed and put the bass aside, leaning back on his hands. He blew his overlong fringe out of his face, looking around the room until his gaze lingered on me.

I blushed but tried to be cool about it, so I smiled at him. He just raised an eyebrow and bit his lip, looking away quickly.

I cursed under my breath; he really had to think I was the dumbest person ever.

Mikey eased the awkward silence I was sure of he didn't notice. "Hey, uhm, what do you want to play?"

Gerard on the floor plucked on the carpet, looking down.

"We could try Seek and Destroy, it won't sound as full with just us two, but we can try it nonetheless." I said as I pulled my guitar strap over my head, Mikey nodding in euphoric agreement.

"Well…" it came from the floor, and my head shot in Gerard's direction. "…if you want to teach me, I could try rhythm guitar…" he looked up at me from under his fringe.

Mikey's whole face was beaming.

I was taken aback for a short second, then I said "Sure…!" I picked up my old e-guitar and sat down beside him. As our thighs brushed for the shortest of seconds, I thought I was going to die and I felt dizzy for a short moment. My only thought was how stupid I was, so I swallowed and shook the feeling off of me.

"So…" I said as I handed Gerard the guitar. "Let me think… do you know any chords, or do I have to show you?"

"I know a few…" he murmured. "Just tell me what I need for the song."

"Okay…." I showed him the chords briefly on my guitar.

"I don't know how the third and the fifth go anymore." he admitted with a small laugh. "It's just been too long, and my brain's not as young anymore…"

I laughed. "Don't matter…  it goes like this…" I showed him on my guitar and he mimicked me. I nodded.

"Yeah, and the other one goes like this." I showed him again, and he tried it, too. When I saw that he had one finger on the wrong string, I acted on instinct and grabbed his hand to place his fingers on the right strings. I wasn't quite prepared for the electric shock that seemed to shoot through my whole body. I held my breath and our eyes met, both pairs big. You could've cut the tension with a knife.

I suddenly remembered that Mikey was still here, too. I let out a shaky laugh and let go of his hand quickly.

"Do you know now?" I managed to choke out as I tried to unglue my eyes from his.

"uhm… yeah, I think so…" he murmured.

I exhaled heavily as I got up in my feet again. "So, let's start!" I tried to hide my nervousness which only resulted in letting my voice sound squeaky. I made a weak attempt to clear my throat.

Mikey laughed and clapped me on the back. "Everything's all right?" I nodded. "Just start fucking playing now..." I growled as Mikey giggled stupidly again.

I glimpsed sideways to Gerard, who was biting his lip, trying not to laugh. Oh great. How embarrassing.

This was going to be a long afternoon...

~ ~ ~

We played a few more songs this day, until Mikey stated that his fingers hurted. "And I'm really hungry.... we should grab a bite to eat."

"Let's oder pizza!" I suggested. "Mikey, you know what I like."

He sighed. "Yes, Sir. Gerard?" Gerard looked at him as if he was just ripped out of sleep. "Huh?" Mikey shook his head. "What kind of pizza do you want?" "Mikey, you know what I like...." he also said.

Mikey looked at us both, then he threw his hands up in the air and went out of the room, heading down to the kitchen. I heard him talking to himself long after he was out of sight. "Of course, Mikey, you know everything, don't you? You order pizza for us all, you can also pay if you want, it's not like...."

I unvolutarily had to laugh and shake my head. I looked over to Gerard, who was plucking at the strings of his guitar again, like he didn't really notice what was going on outside of his head.

"I still can't do it." He suddenly said. I was frozen in place. What? "It's like it's stuck in my throat.", he continued.
Oh, he meant the singing!I didn't know what to do with my hands, patting him on the shoulder just didn't seem right, so I just stuffed them into my pockets.

"Maybe you just need time." I reassured him. "That's just something your brain has to sort out."

He sighed, still not looking at me. " No Frank, this is something coming straight from your heart. What's it like for you to play the guitar?. His head shot up and his look hit me like a train: this totally lost look. I literally heard my heard breaking a bit on the edges. I didn't have any comforting words for him. "I'm sorry..." was all that would come out of my mouth, my look apologizing.

He shrugged and went on picking the strings of the guitar on his lap. I wanted to hug him, but I didn't have dare to, I couldn't control my feelings. So I just put my own guitar aside and went out on the balcony to light a cigarette. I angrily blew out the smoke. I just couldn't believe how stupid I was. Why couldn't I make it better for him?

"Do you have fire?" I jumped at the sound of Gerard's voice coming from behind me. I turned around to see him standing there, his cigarette already between his lips. I took my lighter out of my pocket and lit his cigarette.

"I am sorry. I shouldn't load my shit on you." He murmured. I shook my head. "You can tell me anything, you know. But I just don't know what to say! If there's anything I could say or do to you feel better, tell me. I'd do everything, everything in my might to get that look off of your face, I swear." His eyes went big. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out. I felt embarrassed. I had said those words without thinking and with far to much ferocity. I wasn't thinking at all anymore, because the next thing I knew was that I had thrown away my cigarette and had my arms around him in a hug. "Gerard...everything's gonna be just fine..." I whispered as I tightened my hold on him, drinking in the scent of his hair.

"Guys?" the sound of Mikey's voice ripped me out of my almost trance-like state. I quickly let go of Gerard, who was standing there with a totally befuddled look. He hadn't really hugged me back, and his arms were hanging down, hands balled into tight fists.

Oh god, what had I done? He must've thought I was the strangest person ever!

"There you are... " Mikey had finally found us. "Smoking again, you two? You both will die a terrifiyng death someday, you know that, don't you?"

I did my best to hide the storm of different feelings and thoughts going through my head... and chest. "Says the one who is sure that zombies will eat him." I tried my best to display sarcasm in my voice.

"Hey, this is a totally logic theory of how the world will end! I've explained it to you about a thousand times!" he said, looking at me like I was the most stupid person on the planet.

"I know. Germs and all that..." I glanced in Gerard's direction. Say something already!

As if on cue, he said: "Yeah, and psychoactive drugs in every cough syrup and this totally believable kind of stuff..."

We were still bickering like this when we got our pizza. I was glad that Mikey didn't leave me and Gerard alone that evenig again. I really wouldn't have known what to say to him, how to explain my behaviour. I had to figure that one out.

All I knew was that I still remembered how he smelled. What I didn't know was what to make of it...
Can you belive it? Because I almost can't!
I really wrote something again!

I'm happy. And you?

:love:
Published:
© 2011 - 2021 TheCoriful
Comments3
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MyChEmIcAlRoMaNcE10's avatar
I really love this!!!!!!!! :D please write more when you have the time. <3
TheCoriful's avatar
I try to :) Thanks a lot!