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  • Listening to: The Dark Sentencer by Coheed and Cambria
  • Reading: Not much at the moment, unfortunately
  • Watching: Taskmaster, Lupin III Part 4, Ghost in the Shell
  • Playing: Journey, Batman (Mega Drive)
  • Eating: Mostly pasta. Taste the carbs!
  • Drinking: Frequently
Well, this is nostalgic!

If it's not obvious, I've rather neglected my DA account these past few years. It's not an exclusive neglect; my Twitter and my personal blog have also been pretty much abandoned too these past few years.

To cut to the point, I had a little bit of a minor mental crisis a few years back due to having too many hobby projects on the go at the same time. On top of that, I'd got annoyed at myself for not completing things.

It occurred to me that three of the projects, all comics*, could technically be three birds killed with one stone. The only problem was that the stone in question needed to be the size of a boulder in the form of a custom webcomic CMS (Content Management System).

*Detulux Incorporated, The Two Doctors and Dr. Ralph Smiffington's Dosser Rodeo

Why did I need to build a webcomic CMS? Why not just use Wordpress with one of the existing webcomic plugins? Or use one of the many other webcomic CMS solutions available on the web? Because they're all pretty bloody awful, that's why. I remember trying twice with Wordpress to build the webcomic site I wanted and failing because the custom tags were too limited, and the webcomic CMS's out on the 'net all generate bloody awful search engine unfriendly URLs (web addresses for the ho's at home) and aren't particularly mobile-friendly.

I set out to build a custom webcomic CMS, and that was roughly two years ago. It took that long mostly due to procrastination and distraction and I admit it's been difficult sometimes to really engage with the project due to coding for a living; after a day of staring at PHP code the last thing you want to do in the evenings and on weekends is to stare at PHP code some more.

The CMS I have built, which I call "Webcomical", isn't quite ready for the proper release yet but the code is available online on my GitHub account if anyone is interested. I haven't thoroughly bug-tested the thing yet and I need to create some sort of webpage to advertise it and provide installation instructions.

Off the back of the CMS project nearing completion, I am now proud to announce that Detulux Incorporated now has a new dedicated living space at - head on over and take a gander. There's a few spoilers about something we were planning to reveal later (HINT HINT the comic's title will be changing along with a few character names HINT HINT) but I'd rather just announce it now and get it off my chest! The entire website is built using my Webcomical CMS and there's only a handful of things left to do on the site in terms of tweaks. Sam and myself have been busy writing episode transcripts and getting character profiles finished for the last six months or so. If you follow Detulux here on DeviantArt** then don't worry; weekly updates will continue on this site and the webcomic site will host only the "complete" episodes then apparently you will either need to follow the website (you can sub via RSS) or if you'd like the weekly updates then they are available for Patreon supporters (apologies, I thought we were going to keep reuploading to DA but my artist reliably informs me that the website is slowly being buried under fetish pornography so we are jumping ship, I guess?).

**If you're not following it, why the hell not? I write the damn thing and everyone's favourite nefarious mad scientists have just appeared in it!

The next project I'd like to turn my attention to will be a new website for all the Two Doctors' stuff. It's currently available at… but is all over the bloody place at the moment. I've started migrating pages over from the minisites that already exist so over the next month or two I'll hopefully get everything up to date and then I genuinely intend to resume the Two Docs' world tour! When I do resume I'll be posting pages to the dedicated site and DA.

As for Dosser Rodeo, which I started putting pages up for and then dropped while I worked on the CMS, will be going back on hiatus indefinitely. I want to get the Two Docs' World Tour done before embarking on another comic project and there's also the small matter of not being happy (again) with how the comic started. To that note, the long-inactive The-Right-Bros DA account has been deactivated; I may very well re-upload all the pages that Sam did for it as bonus materials should Dosser Rodeo ever resurface in the future.

That's about everything I have to say at the moment. I may attempt to go through the 823 DA notifications I've accumulated at some point! If anyone's still following me and is active, please do say hello in the comments below. It's been a while and is always nice to reconnect.

Oh, I suppose I should casually mention that I married Psi Baka Onna last year and we're currently living in our own house being adults and shit. Life's pretty good. Hope you're all doing alright out there in Deviantland too.
It's 11:30-ish here and it's the end of what I'd call a pretty rubbish year.

I'm hoping to move into a brick-and-mortar house *WHICH I OWN* in the new year, and I probably didn't mention that I got engaged to :iconpsi-baka-onna: earlier this year because I'm terrible (also yes half the house is hers I hope that was obvious).

I'm also hoping (lots of hope right now) that once we're all moved in and settled to a place where I actually want to live I can get back into a creative groove of sorts. I've already decided to shelve one thing so I can get back on track with many others (that thing ISN'T the World Tour, believe it or not - more of that in the new year!).

To the 3 or so people who will see this, take care and have a good start to the new year. Hope to talk to you soon! :D
  • Listening to: Pet bird eating seed
  • Reading: Hellblazer
  • Watching: YouTube subs
  • Playing: GTA3 (again, this time in HD)
  • Eating: Everything. EVERYTHING!
  • Drinking: Far, far too much
It's been a while, hasn't it?

I've had a bit of an art hiatus for a few months, instead opting for copious amounts of blogging to pass the time (feel free to bookmark that site if you like my rants or you can just follow me on Twitter @RussianGestapo and I'll tweet every sodding thing I create at you). However, as much as I enjoy blogging the longer I stay away from producing comics the guiltier I feel and eventually the guilt gets heavy enough to force my hand.

For the few left who follow my DA page (which must like be watching a vast desert expanse, tentatively expecting the odd tumbleweed to blow past) you probably know that my run on Detulux Inc as writer and artist "ended" after a few years of sporadic updates. I love Detulux to bits and there's so many things I want to do with it, but I always found drawing it to be a bit of a chore, mostly because I'm a lazy artist and I prefer dialogue-led scenes over action scenes ("tell, don't show", if you will).

Sam, conversely, was working on The Right Brothers - a comic heavy in dialogue and character interaction that she was finding boring to work on. The final nail in the coffin was a quick doodle where she conveyed annoyance at having to draw mostly word balloons while, over at Detulux, Pain and the crew were finding their hands full with the final boss of Resident Evil Occupant Sin 4. It was an epiphany for me, certainly.

Consequently, Sam is now drawing Detulux Inc and doing a bloody fantastic job of it, drawing a close to a storyline that's been in limbo for the best part of five years now. She's even got a bunch of non-Resident Evil comics ready and I'm actually writing the next storyline which *GASP* isn't a parody of anything! It won't take another ten years to finish, either (fingers crossed!).

This has freed me up to pursue other arty endeavours, which includes rebooting the Right Brothers (again) - I've just uploaded the first page now! I've taken note from Sam that the version of the first episode she was producing was trying to introduce too much at once. As such I'm winging it with the first episode - I genuinely don't know where it is going to end up. I will probably delete the Right Bros. DA account at some point and write Sam's pages off as a "lost episode", one of those curious pilots that never quite matches the final product.

I'm really glad to be working on Duke and Luke's adventures again. There were a few artistic decisions I never fully liked that Sam added (sorry dear) that I'm going to redact, and I apologise if certain jokes or ideas get recycled as there are a few that are too good to waste. I'm seriously hoping to produce one comic at least every two weeks, if not every week.

Oh, and to break up the schedule a certain pair of no-good scientists are coming back (for realsies this time!).

Boring real life stuff follows this, feel free to skip!

After a rough start to the year (and our definition of "rough" is what some people in squalor dream of), things have gotten better.

Me and Sam are currently living in a flat up on what I describe as "nob's hill" - it's perceived to be the posh end of town. We've always planned to buy a place but, following a near-constant stream of noise from upstairs neighbours (HATE HATE HATE), we've decided to step up the schedule and start looking from next month after a week long holiday in Devon and Cornwall (which is mostly a nostalgia-led trip for me to revisit places from my childhood and stand around going "hmm, it's not quite as good as it used to be"). Incidentally the only silver lining of moving to this flat has been that one of my best mates lives next door and he's been very accommodating, putting up with noises from the pet bird and the like.

Work is going well. I'm fairly well versed in online software development now and have been working on various private projects to flex my PHP skills. One of the projects I've got floating around on my "to-do" list is an open source webcomic platform that I'd like to release for free, probably built in CodeIgniter. ComicPress and Comic Easel, the two main WordPress comic extensions, are alright but both are basically shoe-horning in functionality into a blog platform - I want something designed from the ground up to be for comic management and, most importantly, it should be mobile responsive and have transcripts built-in. If you've got any ideas that could go on the wishlist, let me know and I'll see if I can accommodate when I build the thing.

I have 450 DA messages to go through, so I will get around to THAT.

That's all, folks! I you're still alive and kicking reply back with a comment below, I'd love a chat.
  • Listening to: Retsupurae
  • Reading: Hellblazer
  • Watching: YouTube subs
  • Playing: Batman: Arkham Knight
  • Eating: In moderation, on a diet that's working, NICE!
  • Drinking: Also in moderation.

What is the Two Doctors' Dimensional Temporal World Tour? Find out here!

This journal post will be updated as new pages get added, and is meant to provide some means of keeping track of all the collaborations!

Prologue (feat. Psi-Baka-Onna)
01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15

A Short Trip to Yesteryear (feat. Detulux Inc.)
01 02 03 04 05 06 07

The Russian Connection (feat. DarkeAngel)
01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58

No Business Like the Toy Business (feat. Jazon19)
01 02 03 04 05 06 07

More to come...

Bonus Pages
  • Listening to: The sound of time
  • Reading: Dials on the DURPS' control panel
  • Watching: Time and space go by
  • Playing: With the fabric of history
  • Eating: Scones
  • Drinking: Tea and vodka
  • Listening to: Kevin Smith's Fatman on Batman podcast
  • Reading: I Can Make You Hate by Charlie Brooker
  • Watching: Venture Bros
  • Playing: Saints Row the Third
  • Eating: Less
  • Drinking: Less
Hey, guys and gals! Hope you had a good holiday and that the new year is so far treating you right (taking you out to dinner, returning your calls, that sort of thing).

Before the Christmas holidays, I announced that I'd be embarking on a mass collaborative effort to tell a story of two old men with a TARDIS highly scientific inter-dimensional time travel device in a bid to (what else?) take over the world (BWAHAHAHA!).

It might not look like it, but it's still on! I've not quite finished the prologue yet, but already I've got the first two participants lined up, the first of which I'm currently working through some draft scripts with. It's not a secret who these two marvellous people are, but I won't tell if they don't. ;)

Unfortunately, new pages are on hold for the time being while that horrible party pooper "real life" gets involved - work commitments and the fact that I'm currently in the process of moving into a new place with a very special lady (who's waited about eight years for this)means that, at the moment, I'm currently getting home from work and either crashing on the bed or just playing video games because I'm too knackered to do anything else.

That doesn't mean that we can't progress things further in the background in the meantime! If you commented on the announcement post and/or if you're really serious about taking part in the hijinks, what I could really use is reference sheets for what character/s you'd like the Docs to meet so I can start building a bigger picture of the overall story. They wouldn't even need to be fresh ref sheets, links to existing ones or just a pointer towards previous work featuring the character/s is enough; just gimme a link in the comments for this journal. If you're really keen and have an idea you'd like to run with for when the Docs meet your character/s, send me a note here on dA with an outline and I'd be happy to discuss it!

That's all for now, catch up with all you folks in a bit! Take it steady.
  • Listening to: Walk off the Earth
  • Reading: I Can Make You Hate by Charlie Brooker
  • Watching: Doctor Who (later)
  • Playing: Hitman Absolution
  • Eating: Lots!
  • Drinking: Lots!
That is all.

Stay safe, hold your loved ones close.

Talk again soon, going to be a busy year!
  • Listening to: Mogworld (by Yahtzee) Audiobook
  • Reading: Constantine (Hellblazer)
  • Watching: Doctor Who
  • Playing: Minecraft/Resident Evil 6
  • Eating: Badly
  • Drinking: Tango Orange
This is an official invitation to fellow deviantARTists to take part in a crossover storyline. The project may or may not proceed depending on the response to this journal!

I've always loved crossover stories, and it's something I've always wanted to do. However, being that most of the comics I work on are edging on the side of obscure, I'd rather work with folks I've met via dA and create something just for fun.

What's the story going to be? The Two Doctors Dimensional Temporal World Tour! Having stolen the schematics for a device that crosses the boundaries of time and space, Dr. Ralph Smiffington the Third and Dr. Ivanovich Gregori Romani Gyrode are faced with the quandary of how to use a device that can take them anywhere to (what else) take over the world! Little do they know, however, that one of the parts they've stolen is an integral component of the internet - without it, the internet will consume itself within 48 hours! Professor Loone. A. Tick and his associate Dr. Crackpot are on a mission to save the internet and stop the Docs from causing chaos across time and space!

Can the Docs figure out how to take over the world? What dimensions and places will they visit in their quest? That's where you come in!

This is an opportunity to have any of your characters meet the Docs. They can fight, drink tea together, perform mad science, it's entirely up to you. There's only a few expectations:
  • That you work with me and my other half Sam to weave it into the overall plot
  • Ideally the minimum amount of pages we'd like per collaborator would be about five, but if you wanted to do less (or more!) that's fine. We'd (that being me and Sam) try and match the amount and work so we alternate (we'd do a page, you'd do a page, etc.). That way we get to draw your characters too!
  • There's no particular limit on what your characters are, after all we're looking at a big wide universe. Humans, Elves, Robots, Aliens, Cyborg Yaks, we're not fussed what the context is!
  • The Docs meeting your characters doesn't have to be canon. One of the device's functions is to negate any of the events associated with the Docs as a seperate timeline, so if your characters are in the middle of some seriously epic story and you don't want the arrival of the Docs to be considered as part of your canon, the Docs can press a button before they leave and everything will return to the status quo!
  • If you want to collaborate with other collaborators, that's fine too but it'll be up to you to organise. Say the Docs meet someone else's characters and you'd like yours to meet them, I'm sure that the device the Docs are using has a nasty habit of opening random portals between dimensions...
  • At some point the pages produced for the story will probably go into a dedicated archive on my website, so I'd also like consent to host any stuff you produce (it's free, you get credited with a link to your dA account/the site of your choice and I'll probably lavish you with praise).
That's about it, really. If we do get a response, then we'll be looking to start the project in the new year. If you're interested, leave a comment - you can be as non-committal as you like as I won't be holding anyone to anything (but if you would like to get your characters involved then let me know which ones and I can start putting some sort of plot together in my head!). I just want to get back to having some fun with comics and collaborating without all the stress of a competitive environment (like a tournament or OCBC). If you want to have some fun too, let's work together just for kicks!
  • Listening to: Mogworld (by Yahtzee) Audiobook
  • Reading: Garth Ennis' Hitman
  • Watching: The Yogscast
  • Playing: Minecraft/Tekken Tag 2
  • Eating: Badly
  • Drinking: Got a hangover right now so no thanks!
I doubt there's much surprise here, but following my last journal post it seemed a fairly good idea to get the other Two Doctors adventure collated in one easy-to-navigate place. So go here and have a good read, if you'd like.

Again, like the last journal, I just want to take a precaution with this. I've hosted these pages after collecting permissions from most of the people involved (I've probably missed quite a few people), but if you are unhappy for me to be hosting your work/characters on my site then please just bloody tell me and I'll do what I can to oblige. I can't stress that enough, I don't want accusations of "stealing work" or copyright infringement. Also bear in mind the following:
  • At no point have I claimed that other people's pages are my own work, I have fully credited everyone and linked where I could
  • I'm not making any profit whatsoever, I've put the page up for the sheer giddy thrill of continuity
  • I love each and every page contributed by people other than myself

Thanks again to all who got involved with the IDD and gave me permission to do this, we truly had something special. We'll always have the Garage. We didn't for a while, we lost it. But then we got it back again!

...You know what? I'm looking at the page on my website about the Two Doctors and I can't help but feel that there's something wrong. Something missing. Like, a...a...a third part, if you will. As if this needs to be a...what's the word...trilogy. Some sort of epic last tale. But it couldn't be a OC tournament, that's a bit old hat. No, it'd have to be something like a...crossover. One big series of crossovers, maybe. But I couldn't possibly do this with just me and Sammy, could I? Anyone out there fancy lending a hand...? ;)
  • Listening to: Greg Proop's Proopcast
  • Reading: Snuff by Terry Pratchett
  • Watching: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
  • Playing: Max Payne 3
  • Eating: Nowt
  • Drinking: Will be tonight, certainly!
Wayhey! Let's all dwell on the past and look back to 2008!

I know it seems like I just can't get away from SN and the two doctors, but it was something that helped me produce work that I'm genuinely proud of. As such, I thought it would be nice to collect their entire adventure in one hosted archive. You can see it at this link here, go on click it now!

I'm posting this journal as one last precaution really - a few years back I approached most of the creators involved to ask permission to use their characters and pages on my now defunct Detulux Incorporated Drunk Duck account. I've re-hosted these pages on the hope that the permission is still there, but if you are unhappy for me to be hosting your work on my site then please just bloody tell me and I'll do what I can to oblige. I can't stress that enough, I don't want accusations of "stealing work" or copyright infringement. Also bear in mind the following:
  • At no point have I claimed that other people's pages are my own work, I have fully credited everyone and linked where I could
  • I'm not making any profit whatsoever, I've put the page up for the sheer giddy thrill of continuity
  • I love each and every page contributed by people other than myself

With that in mind, you can now navigate the full Steel Nation story (from the Docs' perspectives) in this archive, rather than having to dig around on deviantART with its rather comic-unfriendly navigation. Again, just click here!

I'd like to thank everybody who got involved with Steel Nation and took the time to draw my characters (you know who you all are!), you all made me a very happy man and helped create a truly epic story line. Peace and love to you all.

Now, at my other half's behest, I've got to pluck up some courage and look into sending notes to participants of a certain other tournament...

P.S. My webhost has recently switched my site's hosting at short notice, this has had the unfortunate effect of causing my website to not load for some people who have visited it before. Basically your computer is looking for my website in a place it used to be, where it isn't (obviously). To fix the problem follow these steps.
  • Listening to: Slowbeef's Snatcher Let's Play
  • Reading: The High Window by Rayond Chandler
  • Watching: Torchwood: Miracle Day
  • Playing: Medal of Honor Frontline Remastered
  • Eating: Cake
  • Drinking: Lemonade
So, it's been about six months since my last journal entry, maybe? Said I'd be back for another around about now!

Some of you who are still around may have noticed that I did actually upload a Detulux episode recently - I'm still working on the next one, got most of it pencilled but THAT DOESN'T MATTER CHECK OUT THIS BLATANT PLUG!

I need any of you lovely people who still follow me to just take a gander at a new comic series I've recently started uploading to the web, one drawn by my other half Psi Baka Onna.

It's called The Right Brothers, and it's a comic series that I've personally been working on since I was about nine. It started out as scribbles and I've got entire folders of them on my shelf. It's taken this long to refine their characters and Sam's been refining her style as well. We're now at a level where we're comfortable enough to release the brothers into the wild.

Take a look, we'll appreciate all comments and crit, and who knows - you might even like it enough to +watch it. I'm recommending it because you'll probably catch me more on there than this derelict excuse for a DA account.

So, go check out the Right Brothers: :iconthe-right-bros:

Well, after that gratuitous plug, here's all the rest of the gubbins that currently consists of my life:
- Working nine 'til five in a job I'm very content with, Monday to Friday.
- Don't really have much time to myself to constantly check DA as much as I'd like.
- Realise I've neglected everyone who watches me on here and I owe you all some comment love.
- Going through my DeviantWatch list is on the to-do list, along with "clear out my 500+ bookmarks" and "transfer the contents of my PC on to my new USB hard-drive". I've got a lot of things to do!

So, tell me how you're all getting along, because I'm genuinely interested but don't have the time to wade through 2000+ messages right now this second!

Also, hey, I totally named this journal after one of my favourite Disney villain songs.
  • Listening to: Philip Marlowe season on BBC Radio 4
  • Reading: The High Window by Rayond Chandler
  • Watching: How TV Ruined Your Life
  • Playing: AC: Brotherhood, Red Dead Redemption
  • Eating: Hula Hoops
  • Drinking: Milk
Whoa, my last journal was last August! What the hell?!

I'm alive, by the way. This isn't some random hacker playing with Sean's account. It's funny, isn't it? How people assume the worst if you leave your online profiles to stagnate and go stale? How it's fairly common to automatically post "I'm alive" when returning to a social site not touched after a period of inactivity? That's a little depressing, if you think about it.

I have a full-time job now, it's very much a case that my evenings are often spent slumped out in bed because staring at a screen for eight and a half hours a day saps your strength and you just want to embrace those soft, soft sheets of your bed with your face. The rest of the time I tend to spend as either a cowboy or as a killer assassin clown.

That's not to say that I don't indulge my more creative hobbies any more. I'm still re-uploading Detulux strips to the new site along with transcripts and HILARIOUS author commentaries, and when I'm not doing that I'm often working on THE MOST EPIC SCI-FI ADVENTURE EVER TOLD with Sammy. Go check it out, have a read, and then come back here and leave a comment saying how much it sucks and how we can improve it (I'd appreciate it, really).

Anyway, I've got valentine's day and Sammy's birthday off so I can stay up to the early wee hours of the morning. I have...1,024 deviations to look through. Damn. I take it people won't mind if I just skim read, huh?

Catch you in around six months when I probably next post.
  • Listening to: LordKat's DnD livestreams
  • Reading: Flashman's Lady by McDonald Fraiser
  • Watching: Doctor Who Series 4
  • Playing: Uncharted 2, BioShock 2
  • Eating: Bourbon biscuits
  • Drinking: Tea and Lemsip
Click here to visit the new Detulux website!

Hello ladies and gents. I really wanted to update this journal with something worthwhile, but I'm pressed for time so I'll just summarise for now.
- The Detulux website was originally going to open on the 25th June, which was the five year anniversary of when the first strip was uploaded to DeviantArt. With job-searching, games and laziness poured into the mix, the deadline slipped. Besides, I don't really count the yearly thing as something to celebrate, given the lethargic pace of my comic production!
- It should all work, please let me know if you find things that are broken.
- The Drunk Duck site is still active, but hasn't been brought in line with the new "main" Comic Dish site. The reason for this is that I can update the Drunk Duck site via Comic Dish so I'm using it as a mirror just in case one of the two sites collapses for whatever reason.
- I'm halfway through the next strip. DevArt will be the place for new strips while the sites go through the "reruns" of old stuff until they catch up (now with added transcripts and author commentary!).

In other news:
- I now have a job as a digital marketing assistant and I think I'm way out of my depth. Time will tell. Two deadlines for Thursday, haven't started on either yet. *Sigh*
- What with the new job, you'll at least have a reason for why I don't comment regularly around here any more.
- Why yes, I did pass my university course with first class honours, thanks for asking. *smug grin*
- I have a cold. It's not a particularly bad one, but I think the adequate term would be an "embuggerance".

I think that about covers it, catch you all around soon. I'm off to pass out with some mild drugs and try not to think too much about getting up for work tomorrow. ;)

In the meantime, feel free to sign up to the Detulux forum and say "hi"! You can catch myself, :iconmutantarachnid:, :iconpsi-baka-onna: and even the reclusive :iconchaplain-koumoriv: on there semi-regularly!
  • Listening to: Twilight Theatre by Poets of the Fall
  • Reading: Farewell, My Lovely by Raymond Chandler
  • Watching: Doctor Who Series 3 and 5
  • Playing: With CSS and HTML
  • Eating: Cheeselets. Horrible but moreish
  • Drinking: Lager
"Do you feel a change coming on;
Rolling out of the blue like a storm;
And it's throwing your dollhouse world in disarray;
So you can rebuild or conform;

How I wish you'd only see;
How your own choices make your dream;
Come out shining true before it can leave you;
I wish that you could see;
How your own choices make your dream;
Come out shining true all around you;"
-- Change by Poets of the Fall

Two song references? From me? What can I say, I'm in a queer mood (ohh, Matron!).

I've technically finished my three years of university, but I'm in that weird time period where I'm waiting for exam results before I begin the search for that coveted thing people call a "job", or more often the "headache", the "waste of my life", and the "means to an end". I have no work experience at all, which means that I'm about as attractive as a potential employment opportunity as a small used anal butt plug, but I'm hoping that the £9,000 bit of paper in my hand will compensate somehow (imagine the butt plug has a pretty gold ribbon tied to it).

There's also the small matter that I'm supposedly a "web designer", which means the first thing that will happen when I turn up to an interview is that the scary people in suits will ask me where my website is. Saying "oh dear" and adopting the expression of a small startled mouse is probably not what they want, so I'll have to get on to making a portfolio website pronto (I'm thinking next month).

Which brings me on to the subject that Detulux on Drunk Duck is DEAD. I killed it with my bare hands. I shot it and asked it to leave the country. It is an ex-website, it would be pushing up daisies if I hadn't nailed it to the perch. The reason behind this is that I had a falling out with Drunk Duck's uploader after a trifling matter of uploading a file with apostrophes in the name causing it to throw a fit and not recognise updated files. This is fine with me, for I have plans.

I've given myself a deadline of ten days to act on these plans (well, nine now), for sentimental reasons. Updates will be announced here when the things happen!

There's not really much else to say, other than expect comments on your stuff soon, and that the goalkeeper for England last week probably should invest in gloves that aren't made of non-stick Teflon because then he might be able to keep a hold of the ball (and I don't even like football, usually!).
  • Listening to: BBC 7 Radio (iPlayer)
  • Reading: V for Vendetta
  • Watching: Doctor Who Series 3 and 5
  • Playing: Too many things, sweetie
  • Eating: Stig birthday cake
  • Drinking: Whisky and coke again!
My last journal was February and in the in the 3 months between then and now I feel that I've aged considerably, despite the fact that I only turned 22 yesterday (great birthday, by the way). It's been a long, stressful period of coursework and I'm still not out yet as it's now exam season! I think there must be an equation for stress having an effect on perceptions of time and space, because posting on DA feels like the equivalent of dusting off an ancient typewriter that's been long neglected.

So, to the point of the journal title, I've finally became the kind of person on DA who I generally despise. It's not been a bad run, I've managed to keep up with correspondence for about 4 years but today I just couldn't be bothered. Most deviations were clicked away, notes informing me that people added my stuff to their metaphysical collections were deleted with extreme prejudice, and most journals were glossed over because, frankly, it always feels awkward to comment on something that happened two months ago.

This isn't a post of forgiveness (forgive me brothers and sisters, for I have sinned), but is instead an announcement of confirmation: anyone who watches me is free to skip reading my journals and should not feel obligated to comment or fav my stuff if they don't want to. There's an unwritten "netiquette" of DA that suggests that the act of faving should always be thanked, that watching people is an invisible social contract of loyalty that demands your attention to everything a person creates, and that part of the parcel of watching someone (that sounds creepy) is that you have to take interest in their daily lives via journals. I've basically just spat over the entire concept of DA, since it is an "art community", but frankly if I knew that the time that could have been spent by a person looking at my stuff has been used to more constructive means then I'm fine. It's a hobby after all, not a commitment. I want you guys to enjoy yourselves!

I haven't been on DA much of late, I just haven't had the time. I used to enjoy correspondence on here, back when I had about 10 watchers and my inbox would be filled with about two or three deviations every few days. Through the Internet Law of Accumulation that I just made up, my inbox on here will easily be filled by 10 deviations a day with about 10 notifications (mostly people faving my running Jack Sparrow); it sounds selfish but it's a commitment of enthusiasm and time that just isn't there for me at the moment. I'd rather give my full attention to people's work with a genuine opinion rather than being half-arsed about it and giving cheesy short referential comments like I have been for the last six months or so. It's not only a use of my time that doesn't particularly benefit anyone but it's an insult to anyone whose work I comment on: you should be angry! You put effort into this work and all this limey git has to say is a passing innuendo that mentions a game that's about 10 years old?! How dare he!

I think that's all I have to say on that. Not particularly funny or insightful but it's a truth of a sort that had to be given, as well as a pat excuse towards my lack of activity. People who follow me don't owe me anything...especially llama badges. What the hell is the point in them? Thanks to everyone who gave me one, I'm sure it was a gesture, or something. If anyone really wants one from me then just ask, otherwise I think I'll just pass on worrying about...llamas. Or something.

In other news I'm playing lots of video games and doing lots of exam revision and still working on Detulux and other projects. Better, funnier updates when I have time to think of something worth saying.
  • Listening to: BBC 7 Radio (iPlayer)
  • Reading: The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
  • Watching: Hustle (BBC)
  • Playing: Uncharted 2 multiplayer (on Fridays)
  • Eating: Croissants
  • Drinking: Tea
To catch the cash-flow of the King! No, wait. That's not right. Hmm.

Why is it the older one gets, the less inclined they are to apply their increased mental ability or lengthened stamina? I remember doing SATs and GCSEs, and the homework would take about an hour, now matter how much there was, and I'd happily dive at it with aplomb and have plenty of time left over to spend on more pressing matters, such as Sonic the Hedgehog and Metal Gear Solid.

I realise that universities are supposed to be taxing experiences designed to push you forward but my internal motivation stopped years ago. If education was a train and I was a carriage, people would have noticed that for the last thirty miles of the educational track my wheels have been producing sparks and smoke because they've locked up and don't want to move. If this carries on I'll probably catch fire (I think I've confused metaphor with real life again).

I know how this will play out. It seems that the only thing that gets me motivated towards coursework is the challenge of an impending deadline. Like a gambler, I've become accustomed to laying everything on the line with "just one more go" - a deadline is announced, and six months later only a third of the project is done, I realise there's two weeks before hand-in and suddenly gain the incentive and enthusiasm to work like the clappers until it's done, often right up until a day before the deadline.

This has not failed me yet, mind you. I haven't missed a single deadline, I've never had to retake anything and my grades are relatively high (much to my surprise). But I'm the cautious sort, and this tactic is long overdue to blow up in my face. It's my last year of uni, too. I think it's ominously likely that something will go wrong.

Any advice? I've tried forcing myself to sit down at a screen and work, but it just doesn't get anything done and I end up despising myself for it. Reward systems don't work either, I do some work and decide to treat myself with a few hours on the PS3 and the next thing I know it's gone dark outside and it's time for bed (although that's not really a problem right now, aside from on Fridays I've banned myself from picking up a game controller).

The impending cavern of educational fail that awaits me aside, my week of polls was most informative. Detulux came perilously close to dramatic changes at least twice, and by the end of the week it was back full-circle to where I had began. Thank you for those who voted, it made me feel like I hadn't completely squandered my subscription. New font and page size the exception, not much is really going to change with the format. Progress on the new Detulux site has also halted, because when you catch yourself making a website on your day off from a web design course, you promptly slap yourself and get on with less important things of the relaxation variety.

Finally, I managed to kill my PS3 last week by getting the YLoD (Yellow Light of Death). The solution to this problem, it turns out, was to completely disassemble the blasted thing and take a heat gun to the internal circuit board in order to melt the solder and fix any broken connections. I ended up paying a fair sum of money to some nice people at a repair shop in Bristol to do this for me, and although the small windfall was unpleasant, it certainly beat having to send my console off to Sony (in which case they'd have reformatted the hard drive for safety, wiping all my hours of game-based effort) or buying a new one (in which case I'd still have to reformat my hard drive because new PS3s apparently don't like hard drives full of game saves). Still, it could have been worse - the woman in the shop said that they receive three PS3s with the YLoD a week, which is nothing compared to the ten Xboxs a week they get with the Red Light of Death.

I will probably be off DA for a while. Catch all you peeps at the end of March/beginning of April, where we'll find out whether I made all the deadlines or not. ;)
  • Listening to: BBC 7 Radio (iPlayer)
  • Reading: Guards! Guards! by Sir Terry Pratchett
  • Watching: Sam on Uncharted 2
  • Playing: Uncharted 2 multiplayer (join our clan!)
  • Eating: Muffins
  • Drinking: Pepsi
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often or ever) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and I.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph in your journal and see what your friends come up with.

(I don't usually indulge in frippery like this but the last post was so horrifically serious that I had to do something to get rid of it from the front page)
  • Listening to: Seal: Soul
  • Reading: Preacher Vol. 1 (Garth Ennis)
  • Watching: Doctor Who Specials
  • Playing: Fallout 3 DLC, Assassins' Creed II, Uncharted 2
  • Drinking: Tea, glorious tea! Wonderful tea! Glo-ri-ous TEEA!
Yes! It's time again for me to open my spleen unto the web and spill forth bountiful observations to the common-folk (and the not-so-common-folk, which consists of everyone who uses the interwebs, basically).

I missed out on typing up a Christmas entry, which is good because I had nothing much to say this year anyway. Usually I have something to bitch about, how Christmas just isn't the same any more, how I just don't feel that tingle in my feelings that it is a special time of year, all that rubbish. The truth is, had I wrote a Christmas entry, it would have probably consisted of the words "OH THANK GOD A HOLIDAY" repeated The Shining style over-and-over for about five seconds of scrolling, because it's my last year of education, which means that I'm not supposed to sleep and just work on projects 24/7 (apparently).

Also note I used the word "annual" in the title of this entry. I was going to use the word "obligatory", but having just looked it up (in fear of using it about as frequently as I breath air or use brackets in a paragraph) it turns out that "obligatory" actually means "compulsory" or "required", as opposed to what I thought it meant - as in "I care to". Take note, internet people! Obligatory is not serving the people but rather imposing yourself on them! Hence my use of "annual", instead.

Christmas was good. Dare I say, great, even. I received some wonderful gifts, including a Heath Ledger 1:6 scale Joker figure from my other half, which is something I've always desired and now I'm even considering modifying my room to incorporate new shelving/cabinets in which to place the almighty purple-dressed white-faced one. "Obsession" barely touches my fondness towards the character of the Joker.

Since my last post, several other things have happened as well. Two Doctors fans take note! Since winning the IDD Sam and I have received two marvellous commissions:
Thanks to both Conartist18 and Ketsuo for these, they are truly wonderful and both have spent time as my desktop wallpaper!

And I finally finished Steel Nation for the two doctors, which means I at least completed one of my many new year's resolutions from last year. Once my other half has finished the "missing pages", I'll continue uploading them to Drunk Duck. The best part is, I can now turn my attention to Detulux Inc again! Oh white-suited British arsehole, slightly dim American assistant and seven-foot Scottish stereotype, how I've missed you so! But what about an epilogue for the IDD, I don't hear you ask? That's up to Sam. I've written one, but it'll be up to her to draw it out at some point - if it gets too late, I might just upload the script with some sketches to illustrate it.

So, reflection. I have learned from my mistakes from this year, and thus only have three resolutions:
1. Stop making extensive lists for everything, and stop planning long-term for my hobbies (great job on that so far, Sean).
2. Stop worrying. I've made it to age 21 without failure dominating my life. If age 22 is due to be the worst year of my life, then so be it!
3. Stop faffing about, just get on with it. Whatever "it" may be.
My new approach is to just take it as it comes. I have things in mind that I'd like to do, and I'm sure that at some point I'll do them, but I'm just going to stop worrying about it NOW.

That brings me on to my next point. I've got to move forward. I'm in my third and last year of university, and within the next five or six months I will be applying for my first job. I'm quite surprised that I managed to remain as devoid of responsibility and unemployed for as long as I have, frankly. I'm filled with trepidation at the prospect of employment, and yet at the same time curiously and surreptitiously excited at the same time. I have to make a website to promote myself as a web designer at some point (sooner then later), and my major concern was what I'd put on it. Realisation dawned: I have plenty! My DeviantArt gallery, my YouTube page, a (reluctantly created) Facebook page and some comic accounts. That's more than most of my colleagues have! So I intend to showcase not only my (debatable) artistic talents, but my love of writing too.

The website will be my new outlet for opinion. This means that this account may become less actively updated. I am not "leaving" DeviantArt - it is not possible to leave an online service, as it isn't a building (no matter what overly dramatic internet-dwellers would have you believe). Attempts to get hopped up on something nasty and mind-expanding to enter DeviantArt via the monitor so that one can then leave it will be laughed at. This account will continue to be used, as a back-up repository of sorts.

That's the plan, anyway. I'll see you all in six months when I come running back to DA with my tail between my legs due to my website going under!

My, hasn't this all been terribly boring and introspective. I'm sorry for wasting your time with it! I hope you all have a great new year, and I'll catch you all at some point to talk to you in it.

P.S. Thanks to :iconcyrilthewizard: for my IDD prize subscription. Sorry I'm not using it to its full potential!
  • Listening to: The Maltese Falcon
  • Reading: Discworld Companion, like the Pratchett fan I am
  • Watching: Lupin III, like the discerning animé viewer
  • Playing: Batman: AA, Discworld Noir, like the gamer I am
  • Eating: Sausage rolls, like the unfit porker I am
  • Drinking: Pepsi, like the corporate whore I am
I've made the title blatant and obvious as whenever I gush about Batman and how I love the franchise so much that I'd probably give birth to little bat-babies if I could people don't usually comment. That, and most readers have probably just been put off looking at this via the mental image of me on a hospital gurney squeezing out Bat-babies from a certain orifice.

My orifices aside, I'm obviously intending to write about the new Batman game: Arkham Asylum. It's going to be hard, as I absolutely love the game and I, like 90% of people on the internet, never have anything to talk about unless I'm accentuating the negative, whining or complaining (see last journal for a prime example).

The new game is far from perfect, but it really heavily reminds me of the original Metal Gear Solid. It was highly anticipated, it arrived to positive reviews, it's absolutely brilliant while being simple in execution, features one vast location with frequent back-tracking, and it's really quite short. Just like MGS. What it has also done is actually alter my perspective of the Dark Knight and his relationship with his marvellous selection of villains.

If you've ever wanted to know what being Batman would feel like, this is the game for you. It is the first time I've ever played a game that has three-dimensional combat as a main feature that actually works (because, Tekken aside, combat simulators haven't worked since Streets of Rage) and it feels really good. There's nothing like stomping a guy's face in with your size 11 Bat-boot, stunning some goon with your cape, counter-attacking some mook lunging at you from behind and then leaping backwards over another thug to take down a guy unhooking an assault rifle from the wall in the hopes of gunning you down before you can introduce your Bat-fists to his soft, squishy head. That takes about 6 button presses using the brilliantly implemented controls, and you don't feel guilty that it doesn't take effort to hold your own against the escaped convicts, because if you're not careful those goons will happily gather round and beat seven kinds of Bat-guano out of you.

It's not just the feeling of power you get as Batman, you get to experience first-hand what it is like to be targeted by several of his rivals. For example, I'm a huge fan of the Joker (as I mention in these journals every time I update) and was really looking forward to seeing him in-game, voiced by Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker to all you Bat-plebs out there). By the end of the game, I was really glad to smack that gangly clown upside his head, because this was the first time I had ever seen the Joker from Batman's perspective. The man just doesn't shut up! And he insists on sending constant waves of goons at you! And traps! Oh, the wonderful traps! Suck my fist, Joker.

I've also gained a new respect for Killer Croc, because it's one thing to observe a towering crocodile-man from a distance, but it's completely different to be chased by one through its sewer lair. Bat-bricks were shat most heavily.

Also, a special mention for Scarecrow, who turns up to do things Psycho Mantis wishes he could do. This rather neatly ties-in another MGS1 analogy, and brings up the question of who would win in a fight - Batman, or Solid Snake? I hate to abandon my one gaming love, but my money is on the Bat. ;)

So yes, epic game, and I recommend it most heartily to people who either want to enjoy something that's classic Batman or to those who really want to know what it is like to be a proper super hero (none of that wishy-washy web-slinging nonsense, you wouldn't catch me throwing sticky white stuff around willy-nilly...ahem).

In other news, Sam and I won the :iconi-d-d:, but no need to celebrate because a) it was by default and b) our opponent has very recently suffered a terrible loss in their family (I'd link and suggest people lending their support, but given that they have changed their journal I guess they don't want random internet strangers comforting them in their time of grief, which is fair enough). However, if you haven't read our final round entry I am contractually obliged to stab you in your sleep with a rusty spoon into a soft bit of my choice (yes, you signed a contract the moment you started reading this! It's new BS-9000 internet cameras I'm using to scam the interwebs).

That's all for now. Dammit, Summer's almost over! D:

P.S. Marvel Comics got bought out by Disney? AHAHAHAHAHAH-wait, that could lead to many lucrative movie, comic and game deals built on corporate subsidies in a bid to rival DC Comic's partnership with Warner Bros. Oh shi-
P.P.S. That's a pretty funny image, Batman and Bugs Bunny vs. Spider-man and Mickey Mouse.
P.P.P.S. Although I found the experience of the Joker wearing me down over the course of the game a lesson in how to hate someone really fast, he's still my favourite Bat-villain. Period. Especially when voiced by Luke Skywalker.
  • Listening to: Penn & Teller: Bullsh!t
  • Reading: My own comic scripts
  • Watching: Lupin III (Red Jacket series)
  • Playing: Fallout 3, Discworld Noir
  • Eating: Maoam (it's like edible rubber)
  • Drinking: Tuborg lager
I wasn't intending to update this thing so soon, but there's something that's been bugging me and as some of you out there in mystical internet land know if something "bugs" me I'm generally being overly subtle in my wording and I'm actually on the verge of bubbling over like a cauldron of lava-hot excrement.

I've only just got around to watching the Watchmen live-action film adaptation on DVD. It was okay. Nothing special, I didn't want to watch it again afterwards and, likewise, I didn't feel the overpowering urge to set fire to the DVD and launch it out my window at that bastard tomcat that keeps picking on my cat Snowy. After reflecting on it for the whole of five minutes, however, I need someone to answer me a question.

Just who the hell was the Watchmen film aimed at? Could someone please tell me? I honestly want to know. It wasn't aimed at casual movie-goers, that's for sure - my folks want to watch it and that's going to be bloody awkward when the amateur softcore sex scene comes on, if they get that far given that I suspect that the plot is so smart that it can book a plane and fly directly over my parent's heads (and yes I realise I just strained the bollocks off of that metaphor). The film certainly wasn't aimed at fans or people who read the book, either, since there were just enough plot alterations and scenes cut from the source material to annoy the hell out of them (and I'm not just referring to the Giant Squid of DoomTM, there are many subtle changes that build-up to annoy the informed viewer). Who does this leave, then? I reckon we're looking at a very niché audience of twenty and thirty-somethings who were probably expecting another TDK, and this just goes to further annoy the nerds like myself as it means that we then have to explain to our twenty-something friends who haven't read the book that no, there wasn't actually a group called "the Watchmen", the heroes of the story didn't have superpowers (Dr. Manhattan aside), and yes the Comedian discovering the villain's plan is indeed a huge plothole caused by removing a large element of the source material.

I agree with Alan Moore, the guy who wrote the graphic novel and wanted his name nowhere near the film - Watchmen is unfilmable. Okay, Zack Snyder (if that is his real name, it sounds more like a teenage protagonist from a Saturday morning cartoon) filmed the unfilmable. It just made for a very ineffectual movie. If the Watchmen movie experience was a colour, it would be beige.

The major flaw was this: films spoon-feed the audience. Through camera angles, tropes, music and an actor's body language, films constantly tell the audience how they are supposed to be feeling right now. The guy in the black velvet suit with the twirly moustache is the bad guy because black is inherently dark and reflects his intentions, and he's just tied a woman to the tracks, which we know is a bad thing because the camera is focusing on her tortured screams and the music has just taken on a sinister vibe via violins and saxophones - that sort of thing. Sometimes, films can admittedly transcend from being a linear medium, and you can get morality tales that allow the viewer to make their own decisions about what they are watching without important points being launched into their face, and these films generally go down well at Cannes and occasionally get noticed in big-league award ceremonies (but not very often).

This is also the realm of comic books. A really good comic writer can evoke the reader into thinking outside of the constraints of the plot and can take their time in setting up scenes and character profiles. This is what Alan Moore did in Watchmen, and he did it by filling the tale with nuances and asides that all mattered come the end. Zack Snyder came through with some shears and cut all those bits out, removing the character of the tale in the process (I was going to make an analogy to a poodle with all its legs cut off and a bright red bow on its head - you can dress it up all you want but the damn thing is still a mutilated cripple that's a shell of its former self, but that's probably a bit excessive. I didn't think the Watchmen film was that bad).

I've rambled far away from my point, so I'll try and cut this short now. I suppose I'm just annoyed since the Max Payne film was tremendously awful to the point where I can clench my fists with unbridled rage until they bleed, and I just want to know why. What is the bloody point, movie people? Who the hell are you making these films for? I suspect I already know the answer already, in that you're making it for yourselves in order to extract cash from the vast (and generally entertainment-hungry) movie-going public, but I'd like to keep one shred of hope in the idea that you do actually have some sort of target audience you're aiming towards as you maim a wonderful concept into your overrated medium.

If you really want to experience Watchmen properly but are dead against reading (which I find hard to believe since you're reading this wall of text right here), try The Motion Comic instead. It's literally the comic book animated scene-for-scene with a narrator reading the story, and is well worth the investment if you want to know what all the hubbub of the book is.

Rambling aside, I can now announce that I have finally caught up with the rest of the technologically advanced species that is humanity by getting wireless (or more specifically, convincing Dad to get wireless). This means that I'm now online with my PS3, so if you'd like a game of GTAIV send me a note and I'll decide whether or not to give out my PSN name (I won't add just anyone, you know!). This also means that I've gone back to playing some games from a year ago to collect newly-downloaded trophies, and I'm almost willing to admit that Fallout 3 isn't as boring as I originally thought it was. A game where you can nuke an entire city and then violently and gorily punch the head off of the guy who paid you to do using a big metal fist isn't half bad.

Other things:
- Got a few days left before the Inter-Dimensional Derby closes for final judgement, Sam and I aren't holding out too strongly to win the tournament but we're working our arses off in order to present something that should hopefully be worthwhile reading.
- My legendarily delayed Steel Nation entry will be the next thing I'll be working on once the IDD is finished, still hoping to get it mostly finished before October...
- ...but I suspect that won't happen as the new Batman game is out soon (man, Grant Morrison must be pissed that his Batman magnum opus is no longer the first result on Wikipedia for that particular title. My heart bleeds).
- I'm still playing through Discworld Noir, having received quite a few positive responses, which is nice.
- Every now and then I indulge in a game of Battlefield Heroes, which is fun AND FREE to play so why don't you have a go? Join the Nazis-er, I mean, Nationalists!
  • Listening to: Flashman on the Charge
  • Reading: My own comic scripts
  • Watching: Dr. Who Series 2
  • Playing: [Prototype], Discworld Noir
  • Eating: Hula Hoops
  • Drinking: Grolsh lager
I've just spent the best part of two hours cleaning out my Deviantwatch list, and its possibly one of the most bizarre mental experiences one can inflict on oneself.

This monumental task was brought about by my inbox, which gets flooded daily, a bit like Wales. And like Wales, I generally try and steer as clearly away from going there for as long as I can. Unlike Wales however, which is generally unavoidable due to extended family living there, I have no reason to come back to DA other than to catch up with several charming people who also happen to use this web service. I'm here more for the communication than the art, and I still refuse to get a Facebook account just in case the machines rise up, since it's damn near guaranteed that they'd use the global social networking site to track down and maim every human listed there to death (and follow up by using Twitter to track down the celebrities), but I'm seriously digressing now.

The point is, I decided enough was enough, and have since excised about 30 people from my watch list. Have no fear, for I still have an astonishingly sizeable list of people I will continue to follow, and generally if I'm posting on your journals or occasional artworks then I'm almost certainly watching you. Or just posting to make it look like I am, because I'm a dick.

Now, I say that it's a bizarre mental experience for the following reason - DeviantArt is some sort of time sink. A temporal archive. Seriously. At least five of the accounts I axed from the list were long defunct, last updated in 2007 or even 2005, and that's depressing to me because these accounts were like a virtual footprint that the user had left. They had been and gone, but left something for you to remember them by (and we're talking about nice stuff here, not shit in a flaming bag on your doorstep). They had "moved on", so to say.

Then there's the accounts where people have "left" DA because of DA's politics, real-life, or for no reason whatsoever, and that's just as bad because half of the time I hadn't even realised that they were no longer "present" on this web service. The most disturbing ones are the users who just stopped updating, and left no word of their next web-based ventures. That lets the imagination run wild, I tell you.

Anyway, to encapsulate my mini nostalgic adventure, here's an epic list of all the different types of accounts that were judiciously cut from my watch list:

- People who have moved on: as I said, life doesn't stop at DeviantArt. This category can be broken down further:-
i) Abandoned accounts - the utterly creepy pages that were last updated years ago. Like a ghost town that looks like it was evacuated suddenly rather than gradually, you can only hope the users are alright today, and that they're happy.
ii) Seriously underused accounts - accounts where you watched expecting more artwork, only for the artist to disappear either mysteriously or suddenly. Account might have been set up and then forgotten about. Not as creepy as the abandoned accounts as they generally don't have a lot in them to begin with, except squandered potential.
iii) Greener Pastures - deviants who have posted that they'll be moving their art somewhere else, or that they're moving on with life, or that DA just isn't for them, etc. The kind of account that needs a soothing 90s pop song in order to dramatically herald in the fact that the user is moving on with life.

- Plz/icon accounts: I don't know why I fav this sort of thing, occasionally a really funny one turns up and some sort of reflex action causes you to +watch it, despite the fact that you'll never ever get anything out of it.

- Club accounts: these things rarely work. People end up faving the art hosted on the account rather than bothering to fav the original pieces, and sometimes the accounts can spend years at a time being dormant. I think the only clubs I've kept are for MGS and Lupin fanart.

- Talented artists: here's a little insight into what I do with DA - I rarely fav work that's done to the standard that's in, say, comic books or "the industry" and the like. There's never anything to say, other than licking the artist's shoes. I prefer watching people who have work that's a little rough around the edges, but made with complete enthusiasm. Take that as an insult or compliment if you wish, people who I still watch.

- Professional artists: people in the industry occasionally use DA. About once. And then they never update. And you never have anything to say about their work anyway, since it's so damn brilliant. And then if they do update it's usually plugging their new books. And then I stop raping the rules of how to write by constantly using "and" to start a sentence. Here's an idea I stand by - professional artists don't use DA. They're far too busy to use the correspondence features, and any self-respecting artist gets their own webspace and online portfolio. Just saying.

- People you watch just to get annoyed at: there was only one of these, and they shall remain nameless. Let's just say that, aside from a completely smug "look at me" attitude and an inability to do anything that wasn't clearly ripping off another artist (an artist who, I might add, I also have problems with, but who I cannot deny has immense amounts of talent I could only dream of possessing) had nothing to interest me. I thought it best for my health to remove this deviant from the list, since I get angry enough daily as it is. Also, a subsection:
i) People using DA as a soapbox - a pet peeve, and I realise the hypocrisy as I quite frequently type my lengthy opinions here myself. There was one case of a deviant whose art I had liked, but over the last year they had decided to instead use their account to advertise the teachings of the Bible, and there's nothing I find more offensive than religion, or more specifically the thrusting-in-my-face-large-chunks-of-religious-teachings-thereof. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?

- People who update far too much, whose stuff you just don't get: don't get me wrong, people should update as frequently as they like, express their creativity, utilise their imagination frequently and all that. Sometimes it really is a case where you just have to go "it's me, not you" and mean it. At least two deviants were cut since I'd watched them for one thing and found that their usual output bored/confused me, and their output frequency was often what filled my inbox and crushed my morale of using DA.

- People you watch just because you liked that one picture they did: we're looking at about 15 accounts I removed from the watch list. I advise checking through a person's gallery thoroughly before watching them. Perhaps if I'd only known this back in 2005 when I first joined DA.

And there you go, that's what I learned from delving into the depths of my watch list. Everyone else is now organised into groups based on levels of friendliness, awesomeness, or familiarity within the actual physical world. It should keep me interested in using DA for a little while longer, but maybe one day I too will move on to pastures greener on this global interweb thingamajig. If you've read this, there's something I want you to take away with you to think about.

Just think, for a moment: what kind of presence do you have online? What kind of presence do you want to leave online? What do your virtual footprints look like? After all, I think the Doctor said it best: "a footprint doesn't look like a boot". ;)

Perhaps it's time for you to clean out your watch list?