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(Y/N) Your Name
(H/C) Hair Color
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(E/C) Eye Color

EMBARRASSMENTS

(Your POV)

Coulson: “What were you doing in there?” I nearly jumped as I stepped out of the cell, coming face to face with agent Coulson’s frowning features. He eyed me suspiciously  as the doors slid closed behind me.

You: “Having a conversation.. now I’m headed to the cafeteria for lunch so if you’ll excuse me.” I tried to walk around him, but he simply side-stepped, cutting me off again. “Ok you CLEARLY have something on your mind……………… Go ahead.” I waved him on with a sigh, wanting to get this conversation over with.

Coulson: “Do you have any idea how dangerous a security breach that was? What if you had accidently released him? Do you have any clue what kind of damage he could cause if he were loose in the heli-carrier?” I rolled my eyes.

You: “Come on Coulson… you really think I’d be capable of that?” He didn’t answer, his hardened features answer enough. “All I did was see if I could get him to talk.. nothing wrong with that.”

Coulson: “Except that you’re not authorized to even be IN there with him.” He sighed, rubbing the palm of his hand against his forehead. “Just don’t do it again.” He scolded, I laughed.

You: “Yes DAD…” I dragged the word out sarcastically, earning an unamused look from the agent. “Oh come on.. that’s what you all wanted me for anyway right? My skill set as a special forces agent? I don’t just kick ass after all.” He rolled his eyes.

Coulson: “So NOW you’re interested in being a part of S.H.E.I.L.D.”

You: “I didn’t say that.” I responded quickly and dismissively. “I said that’s why YOU were INTERESTED.. not why I was. I just thought if I could get him to talk.. this would all be over that much sooner.”

Coulson: “Fury couldn’t get him to talk, what makes you think you could?”

You: “Simple…” I narrowed my eyes. “I’m not Nick Fury…” I strolled past him quickly, using the brief moment of contemplation he had to my advantage. Unfortunately he was faster than I was and quickly blocked my way again.. damn cane..

Coulson: “What did he tell you then?” I rolled my eyes.

You: “Nothing of real value… some sob story about how daddy didn’t let him play on the big shiny chair or whatever. Had it been actual information.. I would have told you already and we’d all be that much closer to leaving.” He chuckled as I made to stroll past him again.

Coulson: “And here I thought you and Natasha were hitting it off so well.” I stopped dead in my tracks, spinning on my heel to face him again. There was a cheeky smile on his face. “How was the kiss?” My eyes widened briefly before returning to their original position, my featured struggling to remain placid.

You: “I’m not sure that’s any of your business.” I stated lightly, struggling to keep the heat rising in my cheeks from becoming visible… it failed.

Coulson: “Of course not.. only yours, hers, and anyone who has access to the security cameras.” The blush shot up in full force, turning my face into a sunburnt mess. He laughed as he walked up to grip my shoulder. “Relax.. I already redacted it from the tapes.” I relaxed a bit, not much but a bit.. as far as I was aware he could always un-redact it.. if that was a thing. “So… how was it?” He was grinning like a madman.

You: “Not ya business Coulson.” I turned back around, making my way back to the cafeteria.. as of now I had maybe five minutes before I was late.. much as I liked her I’d rather hate to see what would happen if I was late with Natasha.. Coulson on the other hand seemed determined to find out exactly what would happen.

Coulson: “(Y/N) come on, we’re friends. I told you about the cellist.”

You: “Yeah and frankly I’d rather you didn’t.. weird enough I have to deal with Tony and his deviant nature I didn’t need to know about yours.” I kept walking, refusing to turn around to confront him again.

Coulson: “We’ve kissed once, how is that deviant?” I HAD to spin around on him for this.

You: “Once.. while piss drunk in New Mexico where that ‘one’ kiss lasted for half an hour in drunken bliss.. leading you to wake up in HER bed the next morning where she made you waffles.. and to this day you CANNOT remember how you got in that bed.. thankfully fully dressed… YOUR words Coulson.” His mouth gaped like a fish, trying desperately to find some kind of explanation.

Coulson: “Yeah.. well… at least my girl didn’t kick my ass.” I held my hand over my chest, my knees buckling mockingly.

You: “Ohh! Ow! The PAIN! The A-Go- NNYYYYY!” I righted myself immediately.. “She can kick my ass seven ways to Sunday for all I care.. I am totally fine with knowing I’m seeing someone that can handle themselves…. And right now you’re keeping me from them so if you’ll excuse me.” I turned back, rushing forward as quickly as my cane would let me.. unfortunately it wasn’t very fast because once again.. He stopped me.

Coulson: “(Y/N)..” He gripped my shoulder again, earning a very angry look in return. “I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy.” My features softened immediately.. regret instantly filling my chest at the dirty look I had shot him. He just smiled all the while. “Just… remember that nobody’s perfect.. and sometimes we do things without knowing the full picture.. we can’t always be blamed for our actions because.. it wasn’t our choice.” Well.. that was rather.. cryptic.

You: “Alright… thank you Coulson for that… strange bit of advice.. I’ll take it to heart..” I patted his shoulder before turning to leave again, this time he thankfully let me go. I checked my phone.. time for lunch.. and I was still a good five minutes away from the lunch room.. damn it Coulson.

(Natasha’s POV)

You: “Sorry I’m late.. Coulson kept me occupied with some… odd conversation.” He sat down across from me, a bit winded. He must have rushed here as fast as he could so he wasn’t as late as he would have been otherwise. Honestly it didn’t even register that he was late at all. In fact my mind had been in a completely different place all together. I had spent all morning dwelling on it.. thinking about how much of an idiot I was to do it. But… at the same time.. it really was amazing.. to let my walls crash down and be vulnerable with someone. To let him in and feel what I felt along with me.. and when we parted, he didn’t turn away. He.. he was ecstatic.. he called it amazing.. he didn’t shun me or turn me away. He didn’t take advantage of my fallen defenses. He didn’t get what he wanted then toss me aside like trash.. And that only made this harder.. I wanted to tell him everything.. to lay it all out on the table.. It was the right thing to do.. but.. the other part of me kept me quiet, worried about the fall out should I tell him. “You ok Natasha?” I looked up at him, his (E/C) filled with concern.. for me. Just another thing about him that made this harder.. Why did he have to be so genuine? Why couldn’t he be like Tony?

Natasha: “I’m Fine (Y/N).” I waved him off, mustering as much of a smile as I could for his sake.  “Just.. something… difficult on my mind.” He reached over, cupping his hand over my own, a warm inviting smile on his lips.

You: “You can talk to me.” I had to tell him. I had to tell him everything.

Natasha: “(Y/N) There’s something I need to tell you.. Something very important and possibly very… disheartening.”

You: “Hey, hey, hey..” He gripped my hand with both of his, looking me firmly in the eye. “You know I won’t judge.. How can I? Trust me anything you have done, I’ve probably done worse.”

Natasha: “No.. I don’t think you have.. Not like this.”

You: “Natasha… what is it?” I looked him in the eye, my lips in a fine line.. I had to tell him. I had to come clean.

Natasha: “(Y/N)… I..”

Thor: “Greetings Sir Stark!!” I was cut short.. shocked into silence by the sudden outburst. We both turned, finding the towering colossus of a god standing over the table, a tray of food in his hands and a wide smile on his face. It soon faded, realizing he had effectively scared the hell out of us both. “Apologizes, I did not intend to frighten you.” I waved him off, reaching across the table to lightly smack (Y/N) as he began to pound on his chest, falsely attempting to restart his heart.

Natasha: “Tony’s the one with the heart problem not you.” He rubbed lightly at his cheek, feigning hurt.. I take it back, he is EXACTLY like Tony.. just a much better, more sensible, more attractive version. “It’s alright Thor, just.. maybe next time try clearing your throat.”

You: “Or try not interrupting at all..” He mumbled under his breath. Thor didn’t hear, but I sure did. Glaring at him lightly through narrowed eyes. He just grinned along, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong.

Thor: “I shall be sure to Lady Romanoff… I was wondering if I may join you for feasting?” (Y/N) Scooted his chair down the table, then sat his cane in the chair next to him, blocking Thor from sitting..

You: “Actually Thor we were..”

Natasha: “Of course you can.” I jumped at the chance for a distraction. “Here, there’s a free chair here.” I patted the chair next to me as (Y/N) groaned, whether Thor noticed or not he didn’t mind. Grinning widely as he sat next to me.

Thor: “Wonderful.. now we shall share stories of revelry and battle!” I looked at him confused.

You: “He wants to swap mission stories.” (Y/N) clarified..

Natasha: “Ah..”

Steve: “If we’re swapping mission stories then I have a great one.” (Y/N) groaned even louder as the spangled captain walked up to the table, like Thor, tray in hand and inviting smile on his face. (Y/N)’s face fell into his  folded arms, banging his forehead lightly against his crossed forearms.

Natasha: “The more the merrier.” I waved Rogers to (Y/N)’s side and he gladly walked over, only coming to a stop when he noticed the titanium cane in the way.

Steve: “Uh.. (Y/N)… would you mind moving your cane?” Without looking up, (Y/N) reached over and roughly ripped the cane from the seat, allowing the Captain to sit comfortably in the chair. “So who goes first?”

Thor: “Allow me to begin with the tale of my first battle with Lady Sif and the warriors three!!”

Steve: “Actually maybe (Y/N) should go first.. I’m actually really interested to hear about your time in the Marines.” (Y/N) stood up, eyeing Rogers questioningly.

You: “Maybe you should.. I bet Thor would LOVE to hear about you and the USO girls.” Rogers smile faded as Thor grew intrigued.

Thor: “YES. Tell me Captain of America of these USO ladies and your fierce battles with them at your side!” Steve turned to the god, tripping over his own words as he tried to sweep the embarrassing story away. (Y/N) wouldn’t have it.

You: “Oh you’re going to love it. There were maybe thirty USO’s all led by our brave Captain America here.. They would sing his praises as he would march about, chanting about how those that could not fight could contribute to the battle buy buying things.”

Thor: “And the purchase of these items would bring victory to the Captain?” Rogers started rubbing at his temples as (Y/N) grinned. Clearly one of them was enjoying this far more than the other.

You: “Oh YES. They certainly would.. of course it was THE SONG that would truly give the Captain his strength.” Rogers’ face fell into his hand as Thor’s own grew bright with intrigue.

Thor: “And what was this great song of battle?” Oh no.. (Y/N)’s grin was growing.. a mischievous look in his eye.. I should probably stop him before Captain Rogers dies of embarrassment.

You: “Hang on there’s a video on the internet.” Rogers’ face made a sudden appearance as (Y/N) reached for his phone, he was pale as a ghost. I should stop this. “Hang on.. Gotta find it.”

Steve: “(Y/N), please don’t..” I really should stop this.

You: “Oh no, THIS is happening spangles..” (Y/N) kept fiddling with his phone.. as Steve attempted to reach over and take it into his own hands. (Y/N) jerked the phone away.. “Got it!” (Y/N) tapped the screen then set the phone in the middle of the table, being sure to grab at Rogers’ flailing arms to keep him from grabbing it. Why aren’t I stopping this?

USO’s: ‘♪Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American WAAYYYYY! ♪’

Steve: “(Y/N) turn it off!”

You: “Hell no Rogers! This is to good!”

USO’s: ‘♪Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right, night and DAAAYYYY!? ♪’ I can’t believe I’m not stopping this.. in fact my face was trained on the small screen, nearly cheek to cheek with Thor who was just as entrapped by the spectacle. ‘♪Who will campaign door-to-door for America? Carry the flag shore-to-shore for America? From Hoboken to Spokane, the Star Spangled Man with a PLAAAANNN!! ♪’ Finally, Rogers was able to wrestle his way past (Y/N), swiping the phone from the table.. unfortunately he wasn’t yet familiar with the technology of the world and had no idea how to turn it off.

Steve: “How do I stop this!?” He started poking at the screen, trying desperately to turn it off. “Where’s the power knob? Where’s the volume knob!?” (Y/N) hadn’t tried to stop him, instead to pre-occupied with laughing, gripping at his likely hurting sides. I couldn’t help but join as Thor tried to take the phone from Rogers.

Thor: “Captain please! I wish to hear the remainder of your song of power!”

USO’s: ‘♪We can’t ignore there’s a threat and a war we must WIIINNNN!! ♪’

Steve: “Thor let go of the thing!! This needs to stop!”

Thor: “No! I wish to hear the rest!” I couldn’t help the laughter.. my sides beginning to hurt at the spectacle accompanied by the ridiculous song. Unbeknownst to all of us, the crowd of people in the cafeteria with us had turned to watch.. just as entrapped by the sight as we were by the song.

USO’s: ‘♪Who’ll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from BERLIIIINNNNN!? ♪’ I nearly fell to the floor laughing, unaware of the crunching of metal between the combined strength of the two men. ‘♪Who will redeem, head the call for America?  Who’ll rise and fall, give his al for America? Who’s here to prove that we can? The Star Spangled Man with a PLAAAAANNN!!♪’ I know there was more to the song.. but we didn’t get to hear it. Instead only hearing the sudden SNAP of metal and the fritzing of electricity sparking. I looked up, finding Thor and Rogers both holding one end of the phone. Thor eyed his half with confusion, wondering where the dancing woman went, even going so far as to hold the now exposed interior to his eye.

Thor: “Where hath the maidens gone? I wish to hear more.” Rogers was holding his half in relief, panting lightly as he eyed his piece in victory.. until he realized he had just broken (Y/N)’s phone. Speaking of… (Y/N) had stood from his place on the floor, having fallen there in his fit of laughter. His eyes darted between the two halves and the two men holding them.

Steve: “Oh geez.. (Y/N).. I’m sorry.” (Y/N) waved it off.

You: “Its fine.. Tony’ll make me a new one.. just means I won’t have a phone for a while.” He quietly sat back down, strumming his fingers against the table to the beat of the song. He seemed… irked.. Here comes another possibly stupid idea.

Natasha: “♪Stalwart and steady and true, forceful and ready to defend the Red, White and Blue.. ♪” I sang quietly.. only loud enough to let the others hear.. (Y/N) and Thor’s eyes both lit up, Rogers paled completely.

Steve: “…no.”

You: “♪See how this guy can shoot, we tell ya, there’s no substitute! ♪” He started to sing along, earning a deathly glare from the spangled soldier.

Steve: “Please… no..”

Natasha: “♪Who’ll give the Axis the sack, and is smart as a fox? ♪”

Coulson: “♪As Far as an eagle will soar! ♪” Coulson had walked in at some point during the little performance our table had had.. And it was then I noticed that our (my) audience didn’t just consist of the three guys.. but the ENTIRE cafeteria as well… I decided not to sing any further.. a bit embarrassed that I had even considered it.. thankfully I didn’t have to as Coulson had taken it upon himself to continue. “♪Who’s making Adolf afraid to step out of his box!? ♪”

Crowd: “♪He knows what we’re fighting for! ♪”

Steve: “NO!!”

You/Thor: “YES!!” What had I done? Thor and (Y/N) both had their arms high in the air in victory, wide ecstatic smiles shared between them.

Coulson/Crowd: “♪Who waked the giant that napped in America! ♪?” (Y/N) and Thor both had stood to join the chorus line Coulson had formed, kicking their legs right along with the crowd.

You/Coulson: “♪We know it’s no one but Captain America! ♪”

Steve: “God? Why? What did I do?” Rogers had his eyes to the ceiling, begging for an answer to all of this.. I paid him no mind, to busy watching the guy I liked acting like a complete idiot alongside a God, some of S.H.E.L.D.’s finest, and my other agent friend.. I couldn’t help but smile.

Coulson/You/ Crowd: “♪Who will finish what they began!? Who’ll kick the krauts to Japan!? ♪”

You/Coulson/Thor: “♪The Star Spangled Man with a PLAAAAAAANNNN!! ♪”

Crowd: “♪Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American WAAAAY!? ♪” And it was over. Everyone (Except Rogers) had huge smiles on their faces.

Thor: “THE FEASTS OF ASGARD COMPARE NOT TO THOSE OF MIDGARD! When I return to Asgard, I will bring this song of power, and then ALL of the nine realms shall know the might of the Star Spangled Man!!” Everyone cheered at the Asgardian’s announcement. My eyes didn’t notice the rest though.. No, they were on (Y/N)’s smiling face, pure joy, like a kid on Christmas.. It was worth it.. another stupid idea gone right. His eyes eventually fell into mine, his smile morphing into that signature warmth he held..

You: “I owe you for this.” He sat back down in his chair, completely ignoring the fact that Rogers was currently banging his head against the metal surface of the table. “I didn’t know you could sing?” I nearly blushed.

Natasha: “I don’t do it often.. honestly I don’t really know why I did just now.”

You: “I liked it… you should sing more, you have a wonderful voice.” I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

Thor: “You most certainly do Lady Romanoff.” Thor had sat back down in his own chair. “Captain of America, why do you hide your eyes? Join in the festivities!!” Rogers was currently hiding his face in his hands, refusing to acknowledge what was going on around him.

You: “Leave him alone Thor.. I think he’s had enough… for today anyway.” I sighed, shaking my head at the joke.

Steve: “I. Hate. All of you.”

You: “No you don’t Rogers.. You can’t hate us, you’re the Star Spangled Man!” He burst out laughing, causing Thor and myself to burst out as well. Rogers just groaned into his hands.

Natasha: “Would it make you feel better if we told some of our embarrassing stories?” Rogers peeked out through his fingers, waiting to see who would go first.

You: “Yeah… I’m sure Rapunzel there has more than a few embarrassing adventures?” Thor’s smile faltered.

Thor: “I know not this Rapunzel.. but I do know there are no embarrassing stories from Asgard, we are a mighty and proud people. Warriors to the last.” He puffed his chest out in pride, clearly certain of himself and his people.

You: “Really?” (Y/N) dragged the word out, his mischievous grin returning. “So you never had to say….. dress up like your mother to convince a Frost Giant you were her while trying to get your Hammer back?” Thor paled, considerably as Rogers lifted from his hiding place, a grin plastered on his rosy cheeks.

Steve: “No.. really?” Thor stood violently from his chair, panting in defiance.

Thor: “LIES… Is this a story from your mythology of Norse for it is certainly filled with LIES!!” He tried desperately to brush it away.. but the color filling his face told a different story.

You: “Let me go get the book.. I think I have a copy in my..” He made to stand, only to be knocked back as Thor rushed ahead. “..Room.” Rogers was chuckling at the God’s antics, clearly over how embarrassed he was not two minutes ago, until (Y/N) brought it back up. “We need to catch him! Quick Rogers, give us your plan!” His face fell immediately. They shouldn’t have interrupted lunch.. vengeance is a cruel mistress.

Natasha: “You should here the story about how his best friend got him stabbed.” I mumbled,

You: “That was ENTIRELY his FAULT.”

Steve: “What story exactly?”

You: “Shut up Rogers.” He looked to me through Narrowed eyes. “Don’t you do it Natasha.” I smirked, rising to the challenge he had laid out.

Natasha: “So (Y/N) is in Kazakhstan with Crimson Squad, thinking he’s such a big bad ass.”

You: “No!!”

(Your POV)

Tony: “And you didn’t invite me!?” A couple hours later, after lunch had ended and planning on
having a PRIVATE one with Natasha tomorrow, I decided the best thing was to go find Tony and tell him EVERYTHING. And he couldn’t believe he missed it. “Let them break your phone so you couldn’t record it.” Tony was currently looking over the two pieces of my now useless phone, likely sizing up whether it was worth trying to fix or to just replace it. Bruce was at his side, trying to retain his laughter at the picture I had painted for them.

Bruce: “Tony.. come one I mean… It’s not like it’s his fault..” Bruce could barely breathe he was struggling to laugh, Tony rolled his eyes, smirking right along.

You: “Exactly… besides..” I walked between the two, wrapping my arms around them both. “… Coulson promised to email the security tape to me.” Tony squeezed his eyes shut as his smirk turned into an all-out grin.

Tony: “Yes.. Thank you Agent Coulson.” I couldn’t help but smile.. Yeah.. Thank you Agent Coulson.

You: “Gonna be kinda sad when we have to go home.. speaking of, how much longer till we got a lock on the blue cube of doom?” Tony looked up, then walked around to one of the computer screens near the back of the lab.

Tony: “Let’s see.. uh… we could have this done tomorrow.” Bruce followed, then confirmed Tony’s speculations.

You: “And how’s JARIVS doing?”

Tony: “Tomorrow for sure.” Tony didn’t even need to look at anything to confirm, tapping his ear to indicate he had an earpiece connected to the U.I.’s system directly. “He’s been keeping me updated on the file break and your suit.”

Bruce: “Speaking of..” Bruce walked back around, coming to stand face to face with me, grinning widely. “Suits done.” I could feel my eyes light up.

You: “Really?” He nodded enthusiastically.

Tony: “Uh.. hate to burs the bubble.”

You: “Like always..” My smile faltered as I turned to my party pooper of a brother.. ironic. “What did you do?” His hands shot up in defense.

Tony: “I didn’t do anything except fix it…. The system is still gonna take a bit to configurate.” I sighed, I knew it’d be too good to be true.

You: “How long is a bit?”

Tony: “Tomorrow morning.” Huh.. seems like quite a bit was going down tomorrow.
Whew.. close call for Natasha right?
Then of course there is the most... interesting.. thing to happen aboard the Heli-Carrier.
Anyway as always let me know what you think in the comments below! And tell me what you think of my attempt at silly humor!
P.S. here's the link to 'The Star Spangled Man' as sung by the USO girls, just incase you don't know the bear or pacing. 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSAk63…
I don't own Marvel, the Avengers, Natasha Romanoff, the images used, or you
Add a Comment:
 
:iconazureman136:
Azureman136 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
This was hilarious, but I'm really worried about what the reader will do when he finds out about Natasha's mission...
Reply
:iconthe-authors-library:
The-Authors-Library Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2017
Hilarity ensues!!
ive got the next 2 chapters all finished and ready and am working on 10! So you'll be happy to hear you won't have t wait long to find out!
Reply
:iconazureman136:
Azureman136 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Great! :D
Reply
:iconsoulsuckingginger:
SoulSuckingGinger Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
I don't think I've laughed like that while on this site. I can't wait for the next part
Reply
:iconthe-authors-library:
The-Authors-Library Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2017
Glad to hear!! Thanks for the Favs and I hope you continue to enjoy!!
Reply
:iconsoulsuckingginger:
SoulSuckingGinger Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
no problem, and keep it up
Reply
:iconshadowwalker980:
ShadowWalker980 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2017
OMG Giggle my sides hurt
Reply
:iconthe-authors-library:
The-Authors-Library Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2017
Yes!! Exactly the Reaction I was hoping for!
Reply
:iconbravevesperia1:
BraveVesperia1 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2017
This was really good, making everyone embarrass Cap and Thor was Priceless.
Reply
:iconthe-authors-library:
The-Authors-Library Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2017
Then it was a success!! I'm glad you like it and found it priceless
Reply
:iconignoblefiend:
IgnobleFiend Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2017
That was too perfect. :giggle:
Reply
:iconthe-authors-library:
The-Authors-Library Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2017
So glad to hear!
Reply
:iconignoblefiend:
IgnobleFiend Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2017
:D
Reply
:iconxxxdeadshotxxx:
XxxDeadshotxxX Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2017
I feel so bad for Steve but at the same time I don't
Reply
:iconthe-authors-library:
The-Authors-Library Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2017
That's what I was looking for in a reaction!
Reply
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