the-Adventurer-0815

Today would have been the 15th birthday of my darling Eddy, had he not passed away this January.

In case you didn't know, Eddy was a Welsh Corgi Pembroke, my first dog.
My family got him at the age of 8 weeks, when I was eleven, and he was the closest thing to a brother I ever had. When we were little, I would lay down next to him to make my homework, practice my school presentations in front of him, and teach him the names of the European capitals. He knew a dozen tricks and could tell each of his toys apart by name.
Eddy was so attentive and capable of such logical thinking that sometimes I wondered whether he'd been a human in a previous life. It would take as little as the pointing of a finger for him to understand what to do, depending on the situation.
He was also rarely ever afraid. He seemed to have a set opinion (which he would voice often) about most things, and if he didn't he was curious enough to watch and learn.
Eddy suffered of DM for many years, and required a lot of care in his last months.
I never had much interest in what people call 'love', but through him I understood that love is wanting to be with someone, against all logic, even when there's nothing to be gained. Even when the disease is terrible. Even when it seems hopeless.

And sometimes still, I can hear the voice of a little girl cry: 'Give me back my dog'

Needless to say that me and my family miss him a lot.

I hope that someday I will be able to draw a picture of him without bawling my eyes out.
Because he deserves it.

I'm pretty sure you've read or seen journals like these in numbers already, but it was today that, for the first time, I was wondering whether I should leave DA.
Now, of course, I would never decide such things lightly. Because I like DA, I still do.

So, maybe some of its features haven't worked out - that's okay.
Maybe artists don't get a lot of money if they attempt to sell prints,
and maybe there are bugs. Fine.

I've been a member for so long, and I've turned to DA for inspiration so many times.
I like the way I can order my uploads, and share them, and I absolutely love Sta.sh! (Because I can now ponder even longer about whether to upload something or not!) I like that I can write journals, receive messages and comments, favorite, and all those things DA has had since the beginning. Even though I don't participate in holiday celebrations and contests, I still appreciate the effort that has made by the DA team.

So, what's bothering me so much that I'm starting to think about leaving? Sadly, it's the Community.

Though we are all part of this community, this is not supposed to be a personal insult. In fact I believe (or like to believe) that most of those who read this are not even within the part of the community that's begun to bother me so much.

To name it one sentence; there is too much so-called "fetish" art on DeviantArt's front page these days.

I used to visit the front page (what is the "Browse" section today) of DA every day, just to see what amazing art has been favorite-d into the "most popular during the last 8 hours". When girls in pin-up poses, oversized breasts/bellies/behinds and/or tied up for tickling began to take over, I changed the setting to "24 hours", and was fine for another year. But these days I've begun to feel ashamed looking at the front page of DA. Ashamed - because there's almost always one or two of these pieces among the first two pages only!
(Look, I get that I have problem with sexuality - namely that I want to avoid it as much as possible - and that the rest of the world doesn't feel that way - but just to make it clear: The discussion about sexuality is not the point of my rambling.)

The point is that the truly amazing, original art (drachenmagier, shirotsuki, nanomortis, et al.) is no longer as prominent on DA's front page, because apparently, it's overshadowed by a large part of the audience/community which prefers to see flesh. I can't see mature content, by the way, and I'm glad I don't, because I don't want to know what else is out there if the stuff I see is the kind of content which is considered appropriate for minors as well as adults. I might be shaking my head at this, but truth be told, if I wasn't seeing it, I would not mind. A lot of people say: "If you don't like it, don't look". Honestly, I would. I'd be glad! But I can't, because it's being shoved into my face...

If you - yes, YOU, dear reader - swing in such a way that you've either put some of the pieces in question up or voted them to the front page; Gosh, fine. Good for you! Even if I don't like it, even if I find it tasteless, much worse things have been done in the name of art. For example; I am neither for nor against taxidermy, as long as the animal was not killed only to be preserved, but I can accept taxidermy as a (somewhat remote) art form. Never would I enter one of the "Koerperwelten" exhibitions, but still I will agree, that, as a study of anatomy, it might be interesting in a more scientific context.

The study of anatomy, much like the study of texture and composition, are good ways to improve yourself as an artist. We're always looking for new challenges after all. That's why I can even understand some of the motivation behind the pictures of oversized bodies (parts).
The werewolf transformation is maybe the easiest example on how something gross can be very intriguing at the same time. We all know it's body horror, but trying to bend your imagination around how to change every bone, every muscle, in a believable way, is an incredible challenge for one's mind. It's also part of the reason why we like to combine different animal species; dinosaurs and bats (dragons), eagles and lions (griffins)... Have you ever wondered where to attach the bones for the wings? In order to push a good artwork of such a creature towards an amazing artwork, it's a question which requires an answer.

But I digress.

I don't have a problem with the fact that people attempt to express art in a way that I find, personally, tasteless, or simply cannot appreciate. My problem is that it is getting difficult to avoid it. And when I see a Youtube video of a guy shouting NO at several (more than) controversial pieces of art, it even appears that DA's reputation is slowly going downhill.
So I'm asking myself, as an artist, (independent of whether I make money with my art or not):
Do I want to be associated with this reputation?

The answer is rather simple, as you can imagine. But what to do about it?
Well, speaking of leaving, there is no real alternative to DA out there. I've tried Tumblr, and it was very frustrating to work with in terms of high-quality images. Photobucket is only for hosting, not sharing, and if there's just a grain of truth to the rumors surrounding Instagram, I shouldn't even have a look.

So, can I, or we, do something about the problem instead? Can DA do something about it?
I suppose the DA team could introduce a flag, or a tag, which gives us better ways to filter out the things we don't want to see.
Maybe the possibility to permanently exclude images with a certain tag from any and all lists displayed would be a good start. But then of course those who upload the content are not forced to use these tags... so I haven't got a definite solution.

At the danger of turning this journal page into the Youtube comment section, let me ask;
What are your thoughts?
Do you think that this problem seems more severe to me than it really is?
Do you agree?
Have you had the one or other idea about a solution?

tagged me to do this! So, I hope you're not bothered by me doing these chain-letter thingies, because this one I really like! Undertale, yay!!

SPOILERS AHEAD.
1. When did you first get into Undertale?
Well, that would've been sometime in early November '15.

2. Where did you hear about it?
Uhh... that's a longer story. I first saw the trailer for the game... (I think) when Cryaotic posted a poll on what to play next. When I say it, I thought to myself 'ugh, just another one of those Indie-JRPGs' and I didn't feel like looking into it. Then, sometime later a coworker of mine used a fanart of the skelebros to test an image-cutting tool. He doesn't actually play video games, so he must've picked it by chance. Either way, I vaguely remembered that 'yeah - that JRPG featured skeletons, didn't it?' and went to watch Cryaotic's playthrough. I was so taken by just watching him play that I went to buy the game along with the OST myself.

3. How many playthroughs have you completed already (and what routes)?
That would be two pacifist runs, and another pacifist run that I put a friend of mine on. I've also bought another friend of mine the game to make him play the genocide run. I did so because I am too afraid to do it myself, plus, I wanted to see how his perception of the game would change if this was the first run he'd see. Naturally, I can only recommend to not make your first run the genocide run. A lot of story makes only half-sense without a neutral or pacifist run beforehand, and he felt the game was empty & unfair. (That's because you skip some hours of playtime thanks to the lack of puzzles and areas, and also because with most boss fights being one-hit kills, there is no build-up in difficulty). Before I got my friends to play though, I also watched Cry's and Russ' neutral & genocide playthrough. I love their voices!

4. What is your favorite fan theory?
There are so many fan theories going around already... Makes it difficult to pick something. Especially because I'm sure I haven't read all of them yet. But for now I'll go with the "Dadster"-theory, because I like Gaster playing the skelebro's dad.

5. Who is your favorite character and why?
That's a trick question, ha! I could never pick between Sans and Papyrus~~
I like Papyrus because he is confident and cares about other people like you wouldn't imagine. He can work hard and pushes through his own failures with an unalterable "fake it til you make it"-attitude. He's both honest and naive in the best ways possible.
In short, I like Papyrus because I admire his care, confidence and optimism - something which I personally lack(or at least feel like I could be much better at).
What I like about Sans is, first of all, his humor because I am a total sucker for puns (shame on me!), but also because his interest in science combined with his laziness is something that reminds me of what life as a student was like and thus, I feel like I can connect with him more easily.
A reason that goes for both brothers, (but counts maybe a little more towards Sans than Papyrus) is how they were a more-or-less constant part of Frisk's journey. So when things got though, I was glad to find a familar face (skull?) around the next corner... even if it turned out to be the face of my judge.

6. What would you do upon falling into the Underground (assume you know nothing about it)?  
Panic. Aka crouching in a corner, crying. (Think about it, you're a kid far away from home and shelter with no way to get out???)
Probably super-glad about being taken in by Toriel, but with a remaining fear and scared-ness for the entire rest of the journey.

7. What part of the game scared you the most?
The appearance of Omega/ Photoshop Flowey. The design and the graphics are so out of tone with the rest of the game, it's pretty disturbing at first. As for the "true lab" - it had a somewhat pleasant feel of eeriness about it, and I might have found it scary wouldn't I like Silent Hill that much~~

8. What part of the game did you like the best?
Tough call. I would have to decide between the True Lab and Snowdin. The first one I like because of the eerie atmosphere and the whole thing about uncovering a mystery, although it seemed much different from the other levels - maybe if it was a little less scary it would have fit better with the rest of the game.
Snowdin I like a lot just for how much I like snow and the skeleton brothers. Really simple.
I'm just gonna go back on this and say "the final fight on the pacifist route for all that crazy emotional heroism!!!"

9. Is there anything about the storyline that you felt was unfinished or confusing?
A lot I think. As for the main storyline, well that's mostly finished, but I think there's a lot missing about what Sans is hinting at during his genocide speech, as well as everything that's in the skelebro's basement.
Without suggesting that Gaster has anything to do with it, I just feel that for someone who is such a good buddy it's unusual to keep this many secrets and that we could be even better friends if we had not to consider that Sans is just being nice to us because he thinks being nice will keep us from doing genocide. In the end, we're all grasping at straws here, aren't we?
With Gaster, everything gets even more vague. I really, really like the mysteriousness of this character, but sadly I cannot even propose Gaster as an unfinished "storyline" because he was never part of the main game to begin with. And everything that's hinting at him can be explained in some other way if we assumed that the hidden game content was not there.
Something else that I would like to put on this list are Chara's original intentions. What made the kid this mad? Why are they back to perform genocide? Is Frisk carrying Chara's soul in the genocide route or what is it? It doesn't seem like there's much to explain compared to the loose ends of Sans or Gaster, but it stands in a greater contrast to how well-explained the rest of the backstory of Asriel is.

10. Sans or Papyrus?
DON'T.

11. What puzzle did you find the hardest?
Uhhh... none of them? None of the puzzles gave me much trouble, actually. Though I guess I could say that the big multi-colored tile maze is quite challenging. But seeing as how you're not supposed to finish it (rumor has it it's possible, but extremely difficult) and you cannot attempt it multiple times one after each other, I probably can't make it count as an actual "puzzle".

12. If you could cosplay any character, who would you cosplay?
I'm not really into cosplay. But since you're asking, I guess I'd make it Frisk or Sans (because they should be fairly easy, I guess?)

13. You are stuck in a room with one of the characters with no visible way out; assume that there is a way to leave, but you’d have to work together to figure it out. Who would you want to be stuck with and why? (Reasons being teleportation and timeline jumping doesn’t count as an effective way out, either! That’s too easy  )
At first I would've gone with Papyrus, because of how he his capable of following his goals unrelentingly and his sheer endless optimism. But if I ended up being stuck for a longer time, I suppose Toriel would be the better company because I believe she could endure such a state much better and would know how to keep us well for the time being. Unlike Papyrus, she is also more cool-headed and logical and holds much more wisdom due to her interests and age.

14. Would you smooch a ghost?
Hmmmmmmm maybe~~~

15. Assume you could only taste one of the following: Papyrus’s spaghetti, Toriel’s butterscotch-cinnamon pie, Grillby’s burgers and fries, Nice Cream, or a Glamburger. Which one would you taste?
I'd go for the nice cream, because it's pretty sunny here at the moment and I like polite foods.

16. Which cousin is your favorite– Blooky, Meta, or Mad Dummy?
Napsta for sure. Again, because I relate well to the character. I can be pretty dang shy and apologetic around strangers. Wish I could just fade out and be invisible sometimes.

17. Out of all the locations in the game, where would you rather live?
Snowdin! I overflow with joy everytime I see snowflakes falling around where I live and I enjoy jumping through the snow sooo much~~ I could totally live in a place that's permanently covered in snow, even if it would be super cold all the time.

18. What is your favorite track from the game?
Nothing really beats Megalovania I think. Except maybe that heavy metal Megalovania cover.
And because that answer was pretty obvious, here's some more info; My top three tracks other than Megalovania are; "Battle Against a True Hero", "Bonetrousle" and "Spider Dance".

19. Out of all the monsters shown, what kind of monster would you want to be?
My close friends nicknamed me "Death" a long time ago, so I guess you can go figure it out yourself!

20. Do you think if you had to go through the True Lab yourself, you would be able to do it? Or would you chicken out?
Bwak bwak! (I'm pretty adventurous in video games, but very cautious in real life)

21. Do you look at buttercups a completely different way now?
Not really. Though I didn't know before that they were poisonous.

22. Junior Jumble or crosswords?
crosswords. Though I also agree with Papyrus that I find them pretty boring.

23. Who is your least favorite character and why?
Jerry. For obvious reasons.

24. Do you have any headcanons?
Quite a lot, actually. For this list though, I will just list the ones that are the most bold to make, and/or the least common.
- Gaster was Dadster. He was also a workaholic. Unlike most other fans, I just can't think of him having his lab at the core... so instead, the core would have been his first big project that would have granted him the position of royal scientist. He would then continue working at the true lab(which is why the true lab looks so very used and abandoned), and the experiment that has gone wrong would've been a time-travelling machine.
- Gaster would've had a personality that combines the best of Sans and Papyrus; being kind-hearted, logical, smart and hard-working.
- The machine in the basement is the machine Gaster disconnected himself from reality with. In hopes to find out who it belonged to, Sans attempted to repair it, but gave up halfway through. He got Alphys' help for this, and in exchange for the support he gave her the blueprints for the determination extraction machine from Gaster's private collection of blueprints.
-Sans was never a scientist and/or assistant. He likes science, but doesn't like the responsibility that goes with being a scientist, so he would rather sell hot dogs and keep science as a hobby of his.
- Sans is not entirely aware of the resets. He has a keen eye and can read from other people's faces rather well, but still has a hard time to figure out what this "time-traveling" of the human(s) is. His genocide-route self knows slightly more about these things.
- Sans and Papyrus are just a few years apart. They are like older brothers to Frisk.
- Frisk has parents, but they broke up with each other recently. Frisk ran away from home because they couldn't take the fighting anymore.
(There are a lot more headcanons, most of which became part of my Undertale AU "Underlost", so if you're looking for more, you might want to check out my fact collection over at ask-underlost-souls.tumblr.com…)

and last, but not least…

25. Did you cry?
Yes. This game is crazy emotional. I didn't cry when I watched the walkthrough, but when I got to the end of my first pacifist playthrough (and even though I should have been sure that I was about to get the best ending), it all got pretty overwhelming pretty fast. The story of Asriel (along with the music) got my sympathy. When I was about to step up to Asgore, I didn't even want to see the end anymore. I just wanted to turn back, and heed Toriel's adivce. To let all monsters live, or let them take Frisk's soul and be free. The power of all these emotions manifested then into this comic. Sans ended up being the one to talk to because... he was the only friend to be there at the very end.

There's no special instruction to tag anyone, but I'm just gonna tag anyway~~