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About Deviant Artist Thalia24/Female/United States Groups :iconff-the-game: FF-the-Game
by the Underground Gaming Arena
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Deviant for 9 Years
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Literature
only pretty when you cry
wouldn't it be nice
if i weren't most beautiful
with bright, tear-stained eyes
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 1 0
Literature
hurt me
hurt me stronger hurt
me faster i dare you to
rip open my wounds
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 0 0
Literature
he's taken you
he's taken you from
our secret place, and you don't
even seem to care.
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 0 0
Literature
hold me down
hold me back, hold me
down. i'm drowning in a sea
of muddled regrets.
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 0 0
Literature
dying light
sometimes i want to
bid farewell to all the pain.
my heart is heavy
with the grief of things--
the past, too remembered and
black with dying light.
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 0 0
Literature
Heartbeat
The hollow drumbeats echo against the walls, beating beside my heart, swallowing me whole. I can’t move; I can’t breathe; my hands are frozen against my sides. The stillness chokes me until my silence is finally achieved. I think this is it. I think I’ll die here. I think the last thing I’ll ever see is the chipped painting on the ceiling, pushing its weight on down on me from above.
It’s not until many hours later, hovering there in the dark, that I realize the one doing the choking is me.
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 1 1
Literature
Uncertain Sunlight
i.
i am not one for
poetry. bathe yourself in
ambiguity.
ii.
vague is my forte.
i’m sorry if you can’t see
through these careful poems.
iii.
i use concise words
to narrow the crack in the
window of my soul.
iv.
i do not want you
to see through my defenses.
they’re there for a reason.
v.
i have a record
of loving too deeply for
my own well-being.
vi.
now, dear audience,
please don’t mind me as i turn
away from you now.
vii.
there is something i
feel bursting from me just for
the long friend i loved:
viii.
all i wanted was
to keep you safe from monsters.
can’t you forgive me?
ix.
don’t hold my hand now.
we both know how this will end.
i’ll cry and you’ll run.
x.
do not abandon
me the way that she once did.
you know my weakness.
xi.
maybe you and i
are too much alike in this:
we both hide our scars.
xii.
hold me back, hold me
down. i'm drowning in a sea
of muddled regrets.
xiii.
glance in the mirror,
then turn away fast as i
can. i still can
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 2 0
Literature
mutilation
there is something in me that needs to be let out
i feel it beating against my chest
pounding against my ribs
warring in my belly
to be unleashed at last.
some deep hatred hides right beneath my skin,
begging to be let free in a violent fit against the self.
my hands are not artist’s tools
or the writer’s pen.
they are war machines
knives and guns and daggers and cannons and razors
and a soldier’s bitter agony;
they are the bomb and my heart is the detonator,
counting backwards down to one—down to that moment
when all of this—air, earth, breath, life—explodes,
blown to pieces, into nothingness.
watch me from across a room,
stare me down and i dare you,
i dare you,
to look past the light in my eyes to the night of my mind,
the whole of me that screams
and begs
and pleads
and sobs
into the darkness, head turned deep into the pillow,
mascara staining white sheets nobody will ever see.
morning comes, sunlight filtering through broken screens,
and
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 3 5
Literature
let's be honest here for a second.
let’s be honest here for a second.
you say you miss me
but you walk out the door as soon as you come home
you know he’s there, out there,
waiting for you to come back
and we both know you’d rather be with him
than with me.
it’s okay to tell the truth.
it hurts a lot less than the lies.
maybe i shouldn’t care, but—
i live with you here
& you’re the only one who knows
the truth about who I am
the only one in my future
who knows about my past.
please don’t say you miss me
when you might want to stop feeling guilty
about leaving me alone again to spend time with him.
i don’t blame you
maybe if it were me, i would do the same.
but then again, i’ve never known.
i’ve never been given the chance to know.
i’m the one who misses you.
i’m the one trying to hold on.
i’m the one who is nobody’s first choice
even though i thought maybe i was yours.
i’ve been the third wheel enough times to know
i’m
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 1 1
Literature
cieleta
two years.
two years since i last heard your voice.
two years since you last said my name.
two years since your last raspy laugh.
two years since your blonde hair glinted in the sun.
two years since you smiled at me.
two years since.
two years.
i don't know why.
i don't know why you took the pills
or bled away through open arms
or fell asleep hanging from the sky
or pulled the trigger against a golden halo.
i will never know.
& i will never forgive myself for letting your suicide save my life.
i woke up screaming
& i went to bed screaming
& i went to school screaming
& i face every day screaming
but my screams begin to sound like yours and i can't stop the ringing in my ears.
i have no right to mourn.
i have no right to miss.
we weren't even close.
you could never know that i stood at the edge & looked into the abyss
& that i was angry that you ran past and jumped before i could
& stole my one moment of glory.
you could never know that your death taught me the value of a life.
yours.
a
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 0 0
Literature
desperate
something strange & deadly
rips its way through my heart.
this burning desperation
wraps its icy vines around,
                   rooting deep inside me
the hole searing through my stomach
my chest
tears me apart from the inside out.
desperate to be loved
  to be wanted
by anyone
                   --anyone--
the sobs wrack their way from my throat
and escape, harried and bursting, from my between my caged lips.
words, simple, two at a time
  "it hurts"
  "please God"
  "save me."
you promised, God, you promised to send someone.
      please
  send someone to me.
it's already too late for so many things
to hold my hand in the hall
to drive me home from school
to whirl me around on a glittery dance floor
  and maybe whisper you're beautiful.
to wrap an arm around my waist
and take the cold, plunging leap
to be mine
  a
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 1 0
Literature
in the space of a moment
my thoughts are scattered
breathing wrong
my heart stutters
we go along
beneath the lights--
twinkling stars--
my name on your lips
exposing my scars
broken exhalations
belie my martyred heart
your clear eyes on my soul--
you're breaking me apart
she forces her way back
i stop drinking you in
adulterated thoughts
you will not be my sin
but still you look at me--
not her--
i won't believe your stare
i am not--am not--better
hold my gaze
one more second
break back; dream over
your reality beckons
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 4 1
Literature
Skinny Love
December 12
I try not to think about you anymore. I try, desperately, to erase you from my memory. I’m sick of feeling so let down, so put out, over what’s happened between us. But for two years, I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning, suffocating in the air I breathe because I have to share it with you. And the worst part is that it’s not because I hate you.
It’s because I love you so incredibly much, that I can hardly bear that everything we had was just a lie.
You would try to convince me otherwise. You would try to tell me that of course that isn’t true—that you did love me, once upon a time. That we did used to be like sisters. That you never just pretended to love me.
But I wouldn’t believe you.
I’m sick of the paradoxes. I’m sick of reading your words, over and over again, wondering how it could be possible for me to be beautiful, and special, and perfect to you, and yet, have you leave me all the same. H
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 2 5
Make Me Happy by ThaliaAnderson Make Me Happy :iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 2 1
Literature
Get Up, Get Up, Get Up
The sky must cry a lot
judging from the rain.
I wonder what it thinks about;
how it must be in so much pain.
Because the drops, they pour from the sky,
just keeping the earth alive.
How unfair it must be, that for
the earth to live, the sky must die.
What could be so sad, up there
in Heaven?
So sad that hour after hour,
day after day,
month after month,
the clouds scream their sorrow
and let their tears rain on us below.
They must watch the heartache
of all of us down here.
Watch as tears fill our eyes
and spill into our souls.
So our tears fall, and the sky
just watches it all;
until the Heavens just can't
take it anymore.
Its heart breaks for us, and weeps,
drowning the world in despair.
What sorrow could be so powerful
that all of nature cries for its force?
And maybe,
just maybe,
there is no such thing as hope.
And then, suddenly,
the clouds part and disperse.
A streak from Heaven smiles down
and breaks through misery.
And a voice, just whispers
Get up, get up, get up.
For a
:iconThaliaAnderson:ThaliaAnderson
:iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 0 0
Be Strong by ThaliaAnderson Be Strong :iconthaliaanderson:ThaliaAnderson 6 1

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Literature
I can't write poetry for dead girls.
there are too
many pills in this
world and too
much misery in
the human heart
but that didn't mean
that you could just
up and leave when
we both know it
could have gotten better
and i miss you like
a wolf misses her pack
or a goddamn dragon misses
her fire and i'm sorry
that i can't give you
a bouquet of jasmines
(they were your
favorite, after all,
because that was
the only princess
with a pet tiger)
because poppies are
too cliche and i'm
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when all you needed
was a hug and for someone
to whisper "it's okay,
you're perfect enough
for me, don't listen
to that junkie bitch
who just happened to
give birth to you" and did
you know that i'm still waiting
for a reply to that one
email about the world's
best puns because fuck,
there's a stubborn part
of me that still refuses to
believe that you're gone.
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Literature
You asked for dark poetry.
i will never
be nice
to my enemies.
i will devour them all.
slowly.
methodically.
with a fork.
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ThaliaAnderson
Thalia
Artist
United States
My name is Thalia.
I live in Oregon.
I love video editing, photo manipulation, graphic design, reading, writing reviews, and writing. :heart:
I'm twenty-one years old.
Just keep breathing.

Current Residence: Oregon
Favourite genre of music: Gothic punk; rock
Favourite photographer: suicidebee
Favourite style of art: Photography; digial art
Operating System: Windows 7
MP3 player of choice: Zune
Wallpaper of choice: Dana
Personal Quote: "Just keep breathing."
Interests

ThirteenWords

Journal Entry: Wed Aug 7, 2013, 4:08 PM



(I don't think anyone will comment on this, but I love this idea. <3 Plus, I couldn't miss out on using this lovely Vanille skin!)

 

(Oh, and happy birthday deviantart! Anyone feel like continuing the story with me?)

"The hollow drumbeats echo against the walls, beating beside my heart, swallowing me whole."






Skin by TeatimeCyanide
CSS support by janvanlysebettens

  • Reading: The Complete Tales &amp; Poems of Edgar Allan Poe
  • Watching: Bonanza
  • Drinking: Water

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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2017
Happy birthday! :D
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JJJMadness Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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Annaivri Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday! Gift for You
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Jasperinity Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2016
Happy birthday! :D
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birthdays Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2016
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's December 30th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

:iconchampagneplz: Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love: :iconchampagneplz:

Happy Birthday (3) by daniya-ART   Happy Birthday (2) by daniya-ART   Happy B-Day Caeser1993 by ROBlNHOOD   MenInASuitcase by love4Julius   Happy Birthday (1) by daniya-ART



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This birthday greeting was brought to you by: LDFranklin
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3DShe Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2016  Student Interface Designer
Play my video to know my comment: www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4nGNl…
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2015
Happy birthday! :D
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birthdays Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2015
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's December 30th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

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:iconchampagneplz: Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love: :iconchampagneplz:

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