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I really dont have the mental strength to deal with this crap right now. Im floating in a lake of dejection and depression, I dont expect help from anybody but for f**k sake at least stop making it worse.

Cos this is seriously getting on edge, and Im too tired.... Im just too tired... I want to be done with all of the suffering and the pain alrdy cos I dont deserve anymore of this. Ive had enough.
  • Listening to: Silence
  • Watching: My screen...
  • Playing: Shadow Hearts II: Covenant
  • Eating: Pineapple
Lets get this straight, not like I'm not willing to sacrifice my plans for something or somebody I care about.

I'm freaking sick and tired of people telling me they want to do something, make me cancel my plans and then they happily think to drop what has been said.
whats so damn complicated in respecting other's time seriously. This is starting to really irritate me.

Isnt it annoying?
  • Listening to: Silence
  • Watching: My screen...
  • Playing: with snails...
  • Eating: Focaccia
  • Drinking: Water
Im not sure if its springtime or what exactly is that is having this massive effect on my nerves.

Granted my life seems to always have a lot of emotional turbolence going on for a reason or another but.... this isnt cool... AT ALL.

I think Im about to have a nervous breakdown and a real bad one. I have been piling up so much anxiety, anger and fears that at this point I assume they need to come out somehow. Woulda been nicer if it wasnt with such violence on my soul but meh... as long as it goes away, w/e its fine I guess...

Like a cherry on top I seem to be getting rude behaviours from everybody I know, which sucks even more. But a sweet word said with politeness no?

Che amarezza...












Since everytime I try to select my Frustrated mood journal crashes... I guess Ill just write it... IM FREAKING FRUSTRATED... lol...
  • Listening to: Oriental Music
  • Watching: My screen...
  • Playing: with snails...
  • Eating: Carne all'uccelletto
  • Drinking: Water
YES! ITS OPEN!

And it just at start :) , more designs coming soon !!! :D

If you would like a design better on another product let me know, Ill do my best to materialize your wish.

www.cafepress.com/oscargoandco

Hope you like it!
  • Listening to: Shadow Heart OST
  • Watching: Warehouse 13
  • Eating: Homemade Tortellini
  • Drinking: Water
So this new Snail project is growing and growing everyday.

Im preparing Cards, Charms, Stickers, Tote bags, T-shirts.. and more!

So keep on checking my profile on DA and My Facebook Page www.facebook.com/pages/Oscar-G…

If you are interested in any of the products please send a note Ill try to give you all the infos you need :)

Bianca

P.S.
Oscar says HI to everyone obviously :D
  • Listening to: Balkan Beat Box
  • Reading: Advanced Painter Techniques
  • Watching: Rapunzel
  • Playing: Fable III
  • Eating: Caprese
  • Drinking: Water
So tonight before dance class I looked at my sister and I asked how she was doing... she said shitty... I asked how did it go last monday when she took sometime to talk to her husband about the problems they have... and she said... shitty... so I asked whats going on exactly, she said she was gonna have to run home after class cos they need to talk more... about how to handle the separation... All I could think was... how nieces will take it, will this leave a scar in their hearts that will never heal? Can this all be helped in any way shape or form... so that those 2 little girls dont have to pay for their parents careless mistakes...?

I wanna know why this cant be talked out, if they are way beyond the point of no return... if my sister could have saved the situation by stopping doing careless foolish things.

I feel so sorry and anguished and demoralized about this whole thing.
  • Listening to: Balkan Beat Box
  • Eating: Marron Glace
  • Drinking: Water
So I sent a couple of messages around to some devious artists asking help with digital painting cos Im finding it very difficult and I was hoping some pro suggestion could have helped....

And nobody responded me... :( it honestly made me pretty sad.

Anyone wanna drop me a note with some help in it? By chance?
  • Watching: Fringe
  • Drinking: Water
Im debating if I should change the DA ID or not...
Im also debating about what to do with my torments... and my fears...

Any suggestions?
  • Playing: Children of Mana
  • Drinking: Water
Seriously?!... So firstly they stopped producing the absolute best pencil... And I had to find a replacement that could cut it decently enough... Then my store ran out of the replacement... Then now they accidentally got the 'wrong' parchment paper, which has nothing to do with the one Ive been using, not even remotely close... Seriously...
  • Watching: Hell's Kitchen
  • Playing: Children of Mana
  • Eating: Cereals
  • Drinking: Water
.... my absolute favorite black pencil of all times is maybe still produced but has now another name... which would mean Im not about to be absolutely desperate and miserable!

For all Karisma Pencils fans, I read that Sanford Prismacolor Premier Pencil is the new name for Karisma Color Pencil apperently.

Isnt this an awesome news?

:D
  • Watching: Hell's Kitchen
  • Drinking: Water
I finally decided to portrait my bf after a long while having his pic sitting and waiting.
But the thing is, he has been deployed to Afghanistan just 2 weeks ago for about 6 months, and while I try to draw the map of his face, sorrow is making it really difficult cos I miss him to death.

Ill trade everything I have for him to hold me right now.
  • Watching: Hell's Kitchen
  • Eating: Donut
  • Drinking: Coffee
I joined a few contests since I started painting, and apparently my first experiments which I hated and thought were terrible got at least into finals... I last entered my new style paintings in a very important contest and didnt even get through first selection... True first 2 contests were sorta local/national Italy wise, true last one was international so the amount of ppl partecipating was by far higher than first ones... True also I dont shine as painter... But... damnit.

So I wonder... Should I just enter contests with drawings from now on and just give up on trying to win as painter?

Im pretty bummed out lol... :(


Bia
I officially opened my shop on Etsy!!! :)

-> www.etsy.com/shop/BiancaFerran… <-

For now there are "SUQ Festival 2010", "Solo un mormorio" and Russel Crowe's porrait, next days I will add more items :D I will keep you updated!

Bia

--->

I have added a few more paintings and also my painted pendants :) ... still more stuff to come in future :D !!!
Everytime I feel like I made a step forward, I take a deep breath and look around... Just to find out that the road I have ahead is longer than I thought once again. And that step becomes shorter and shorter second by second.

Im keeping on hiding the dust under the carpet... one of those days Ill trip on it and crash. Nobody to catch me either.

Indeed Im not in an awesome mood, happens even to the best of us.
... apperently somebody decided to change my avatar without my approval, and now I cant figure out how to get rid of it, this is really irritating, really.... really irritating. If anyone has an idea about how to solve this please let me know.

Bia
Hey everyone, I joined a very nice group today...
:icontheportraitclub:

I hope Ill find a way the make a show of my artwork eventually this year, altho I have no clue how.

Im optimistic :) and hopeful ^^

Bia