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Ha Gayy by tesstriestoart Ha Gayy by tesstriestoart
If I can't figure out what shirt to put on one of you, none of you get shirts.

Happy Pride month! It's 10:30 pm and I have a job interview tomorrow at 10 am so I should get to sleep so I can wake up early to get my shit together.
Alex is actually bi and Rudy is kind of a shit head but you know how it is....
I've actually been questioning my sexuality bc I turned 18 and I'm no longer going to see Mr. Garner (rip in piece) so I'm trying to assess my current place in life and I really don't know if I'm lesbian or bi but only for father figure-like men but also men fucking scare me and the idea of anyone loving me is scary and I don't really see myself being in a healthy relationship because of my fear of love and intimacy but I also feel embarrassed about labeling myself as aro/ace bc a bunch of idiots on tumblr have to sit on their high horses and be homophobic FUCKS *DEEP BREATH* so yeah. Am I jealous of my best friend's boyfriend bc I'm afraid he'll take her away from me or is it because I want to be dating her instead of him dating her? Who knows! This is all because I can't live life without fixating on a single human being and now that High School is over, my last fixation is GONE. Also because of what happened at prom and the events following prom where I was really like "wow,, men sure make me uncomfortable and so does the fact that someone has a crush on me???" I can only love a man who's more than twice my age and also married w children I guess. I should get a fucking therapist before college starts really....

ANYWAY WISH ME LUCK W MY JOB INTERVIEW BC IF I WORK AT TARGET, MY FIXATION COMES IN THERE SOMETIMES AND I WOULD GET TO SEE HIM AND ALSO MAKE MONEY HHHHHHHHHH
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June 18, 2018
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