Game of Thrones: 9 Worst Destinations In Westeros

72 min read

Deviation Actions

techgnotic's avatar
Img-00 by techgnotic


The following is a revised travel guide intended for those tourists who are up-to-date on all the latest happenings in Westeros (read: people who’ve watched seasons one through four of Game of Thrones, or have read the books at least through A Storm of Swords). If you’ve been living under a rock, we recommend you get caught up before reading, lest your experience be spoiled.

So you’re thinking of visiting Westeros. You should know up front that any visit to The Seven Kingdoms comes with a reasonably high chance of being abducted, stabbed, beheaded or otherwise maimed and mortally wounded. With that general caveat out of the way, some places are still worse than others. Everywhere you look are fine examples of masonry or breathtaking vistas, but even some of the places that offer fine examples of both are just generally not places that the average traveler should visit. So, for your consideration, we present nine places you should absolutely not plan to visit during your stay in Westeros.

Here are the 9 worst destinations in Westeros

9. Winterfell

The north wasn’t exactly a tourism hotspot before Winterfell was reduced to a pile of ashes, and it certainly hasn’t gotten any more hospitable in the mean time. There are those people who romanticize the stoic beauty of the northern reaches of Winterfell, but as even an amateur meteorologist can tell you, Winter Is Coming, and it’s only going to get colder. Plus, noted sociopath Ramsay Bolton (née Snow) was just given control of the former Stark stronghold, making the chances that you’ll be randomly assassinated or tortured during a visit there even higher than usual.

8. The Iron Islands

People from the Iron Islands, known as the Ironborn, are always going around pillaging and slaughtering the innocent. Sounds pleasant, right? Plus, they make you pay for everything using the iron price, and the conversion rates on standard currency are not very favorable. If you’re in the mood for seafood or just want an excuse to sail on a ship, we’d recommend Dorne. Even Dragonstone would be a better place to spend some days relaxing by the sea than these islands.

7. King’s Landing

Two words about King’s Landing: tourist trap. Four more words: smells like a sewer. Seriously. Unless you’re planning on taking The Iron Throne for yourself, or you’re the actual king or queen, there is absolutely no reason to visit King’s Landing. They’ve got better castles in Highgarden or Casterly Rock, plus you’re a hell of a lot less likely to die and/or get wrapped up in someone’s devious political machinations. If you do find yourself in King’s Landing, remember that when you play the Game of Thrones you either win or you die. And historically speaking you’re way more likely to wind up doing the second one.

6. Dreadfort

Why anyone who hasn’t been taken into captivity or whose last name isn’t Bolton would ever go to the Dreadfort is, frankly, beyond me. And it should be beyond you as well. There is an actual flag flying over the keep whose symbol is known as “the flayed man.” Quaint.

5. Castle Black

We get it. You want to see the Wall. Perhaps you even want to throw something over or spit off the side of it. It’s a perfectly normal human impulse. But Castle Black is the wrong place to fulfill this aspiration. It’s full of sexually-frustrated, freezing-cold ex convicts who wear all black, all the time. And recently, it has come under the stewardship of the poutiest boy in all the land, one Jon Snow. So if the smell and the company you’re in don’t bring you down, his constant, unmitigated whining ought to. If you go to Eastwatch by the Sea at least you get an ocean view.

4. Harrenhal

Haunted as hell and routinely the site of large-scale human suffering, like that time all of its inhabitants were burned alive by a dragon. Skip it.

3. Literally Anywhere North of the Wall

It does not matter where. The Fist of the First Men, Craster’s Keep, a Wildling camp; everywhere you go north of The Wall you’re just a moment away from getting killed by a frozen zombie or attacked by birds. If you’re just trying to prove you’re comfortable roughing it, might we recommend a night’s stay in the sky cells at The Eyrie?

2. Castamere

Okay so full disclosure, none of us have actually been to Castamere. But we’ve heard it’s full of cats and it rains all the time there. No thanks.

1. A Wedding

One does not simply attend a Westerosi wedding. It’s as dangerous as any battlefield and worse, as at least on a battlefield you can see your enemies coming. Time to tell second-cousin Brent that you’ll be out of town on his special day.

Your Thoughts

  1. What’s the one place in Westeros, or in the Game of Thrones world more generally, that you would want to visit, and why?
  2. Have you visited anywhere on earth that made you feel as if you had stepped into a dangerous and unknowable realm of fantasy?
  3. Have you ever actually been so duped by a hyperbolic travel guide that you had thoughts of suing the publisher?
  4. Has any tourist location you’ve ever visited made you feel your life is actually in danger?

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Good video but I play bad ice cream 3 on hudgames better than you, if you don't believe, go to hudgames to see the score

temus's avatar
a destination that should been mentioned are the ruins of the old valyria, because the risk of get a dangerous illnes like the greyscale is something that could reduce the value of a turistical place....

and if you seen the ending of the 7° season, westeros is less good destination than before.
fhelalr's avatar
Cool! Wonderful ideas!
Xones's avatar
This collection made its point, I'm convinced.
ZanarNaryon's avatar
Guys, they asked for locations in Westeros, not Essos, Soythorios or Ulthos. Westeros
ZanarNaryon's avatar
Fun fact, while the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros was actually seven, the North, the Rock, the Mountains and Vale, the Reach, the Stormlands, Dorne and the Islands and Rivers, after the Targaryen dynasty, it has split into 9;

The North under Jon of House Stark
The Westerlands formerly under Tywin Lannister, now under Queen Cersei of the Andals
The Vale of Arryn under Lord Robin Arryn
The Iron Islands, disputed by Euron Greyjoy and Yara Greyjoy
The Reach under Olenna Tyrell
The Stormlands, no ruler, under Queen Cersei of the Andals
Dorne under the Sand Snakes
The Riverlands formerly under Walder Frey, now probably under some other Walder
The Crownlands, under Queen Cersei of the Andals
IvanRostoff's avatar
Are there any Good places in Westeros?
  They all seem kinda rapey, killey, disease ridden, Gods are angry, now you die kind of places.
ZanarNaryon's avatar
Well, Oldtown and Braavos seems like the closest things to civilisation we can get. As long as you don't get on bad terms with the Faceless Men, that is
Where in this list is Moat Caitlin?  Surrounding wastelands of Qarth?  Vaes Dothrak?  Dothraki Sea? Mole's Town?
eawood's avatar
Well, Vaes Dothrak and the Dothraki Sea are both in Essos, so that excludes those two (although I actually kind of think Vaes Dothrak seems charming, plus I love riding horsies!). I think you could make a pretty strong case for both Moat Cailin and Mole's Town, but then again, you could make a case for pretty much everywhere in Westeros if you really wanted to. Except maybe Dorne.
AnwarRental's avatar
perfectly amazing
World-Hero21's avatar
I lost it at "3. Literally Anywhere North of the Wall." :lmao:
Frappe7's avatar
Watching game of thrones, it's become one of the few fantasy worlds I would not wish to visit. I probably die the instant I set foot anywhere, probably get shot by some random arrow or get eaten by crows(the birds)

Highgarden seems like a pretty place, but I'd rather not risk it. Also, weddings are a no-no. Hahaha, we all know why it's top one.
Ach11es's avatar
the White Walkers are definitely the worst characters
Tyrannuss555's avatar
Everywhere in Westeros is unpleasant, the only place I would live in would be the summer islands
ZanarNaryon's avatar
Not in Westeros. I'd prefer some nowhere in the North (less chance of a horrible Death, I'm Norwegian, used to the Cold) or Oldtown. Warm, civilized, and chance of a Bright future
jricht's avatar
First of all, and I feel this bears mentioning once: "There Are No Children in Asshai"

1) The biggest one on my list is the Free City of Braavos
ZanarNaryon's avatar
DasKatzi's avatar
Places to visit:
In Essos I would go to Braavos. They don't have slaves (which is nice), and I would love to see that Titan.
In Westeros the Eyrie (as long as I am not a prisoner and Lysa Arryn isn't there), and Oldtown. If I'd live in Westeros I would probably become a maester. You don't need to be highborn, get education and it seems a rather safe job as long as you're not in King's Landing or on the Iron Isles.
MenteDeDios's avatar
Who wouldn't want to go to Braavos?

And the most dangerous place I've visited in the real world would have to be Tijuana or Bogota.
Wolflich's avatar
I don't see what's so bad about cats and rain...
y2jenn's avatar
The last 'destination' cracked me up. I honestly can't think of a place in Westeros that I'd want to visit. It all seems not so good for one's health in one way or another. I don't think I've ever been had by a travel guide or visited any place where I felt my life was in danger. Any danger I've ever been in certainly had nothing to do with the area, and everything to do with my poor judgement.

There is some seriously fabulous art featured here. I really like seeing more than one piece for some of the locations. It's neat seeing the different interpretations.
damphyr's avatar
This article is so great. :XD:

I totally want to visit Highgarden, though I'm waiting for something to happen there to turn it into a living hell, too ;p And while I feel this article is entirely unfair to Jon Snow, (Grrrrrr), I cannot stand the cold, so I'd not be able to visit him at Castle Black. ...maybe the book events will bring him to a more hospitable and convenient climate!

I actually got lost inside the underground, unlit chambers of an Irish castle once. We were visiting and a friend and I sneaked in alone, got separated and wandered in pitch dark for what felt like forever. I got out first and he found his way out a few minutes later, but it felt like we were down there for hours.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In