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I usually hate seeing journals like this, but given that I’ve spent 13 years on this site and met thousands of people, knowing there are at least a few of you who would probably want to hear if something was going on, I figure this is the only way to tell you.

For the past several years I’ve been dealing with health issues that I originally attributed to being overweight and/or having a sedentary lifestyle.

A few months ago, I was dealing with a chronic sinus infection and drainage from hell. To offset my symptoms and maybe get some sleep for once, I went to bed with a breathe-right strip on my nose. I woke up with no nose strip to be found and a weird feeling in my throat, like something was there. I went to the emergency room assuming I had swallowed the strip; they looked in my throat and said they didn’t see any plastic strip, but they did see that my throat (epiglottis, vocal cords etc) was terribly swollen, and because I work at an airport, tuberculosis had to be ruled out before I could leave. They kept me in the hospital overnight to test me and watch the swelling. Obviously I didn’t have tb as I had been vaccinated years before, so they let me go and had me follow up with an ear/nose/throat doctor.

They had me take an allergy test, which came back negative. Not allergic to anything.

Then they suggested a biopsy, to see if they could figure out what was causing the swelling, as it hadn’t improved since I’d been in the hospital 2-3 months back. They would also give me a steroid shot inside my throat to see if that would help.

The surgery went okay I guess. Two of my IVs infiltrated which hurt like a mf, I still have a huge bruise a week and a half later, and they said the piece of my throat they cut out was yellow instead of pink--obviously not good.

The steroid shot did nothing. I got the results on Monday, and as it turns out, I have a rare condition called Amyloidosis. Basically, in reaction to a chronic infection, my body’s antibodies become proteins and build up in my tissues and organs. That's what's causing my throat to be twice the size it should be.

There are a few different types of amyloidosis based on which organ is most affected, and treatment varies. However, there is no cure, I will never breathe normally again, and the maximum life expectancy is maybe 10 years with the best form of the disease and early diagnosis and treatment.

I’ve been having symptoms since high school, so we can go ahead and knock at least five years off of that. Also, I don’t know what type I have, and I’m supposed to see a doctor at Vanderbilt to get their opinion and see if they can recommend a treatment. They haven’t called with an appointment time yet but I’m sure it’ll be months before I can go. I might not have that long.

Bros, I’ll be honest for a second. I never expected to live to 30, really I never expected to live long after Jack ended because that shit was keeping me going for so long. But knowing that I might not make it to 25, that I might not make it to tomorrow, is something I didn’t expect. I know I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but if I’m unfortunate enough to have developed this disease, I’m probably unfortunate enough for it to be too late already.

I don’t want to give up yet. I still want to finish World of Light, just to finish something for once in my life, and leave something for this world that proved I was here that can bring other people joy the way these characters have brought me joy. I had other things I wanted to do, fan content and original ideas, but I realize and accept that I probably won’t be able to do them. I had two jobs, just quit one. I’m going to dedicate all my free time to finishing my story. In the event that I do end up dying before I’m finished, someone I trust will release all the material I have and the ending.

This also means that I will no longer be finishing commissions. I’m deeply sorry that I have basically strung some of you along for almost two years, and I’ll send what I have to you. If you’d like a refund, please send me a note with your up to date paypal and that’s what the rest of my money will go to. Again, I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you.

If you ever wanted to ask me anything, tell me anything, get to know me, or whatever, now is the time to do it. Leave a comment or send me a message and I’ll do my best to respond to you.

I’ll keep you all updated here in this journal.

Thank you all for everything: For your support, your kind words, your encouragement, your gifts, and your own contributions to the world that have made me so happy over the years and kept me going.

Always remember:
There are shy people like me who might not tell you how much they appreciate or adore your work, but live to see you post something new.
No matter how unloved you feel, there is always someone out there who would be destroyed if you died.
Life is short, maybe shorter than you think, so spend it doing something you love...even if that something is drawing weird crack fan art.

Add a Comment:
 
:iconfreddy2005722:
freddy2005722 Featured By Owner Edited Feb 20, 2019  New Deviant
I don't even know who you are but im terribly sorry you have to go through that. I had depression since i was 8 right now I am 13 right now about to be 14 in July. I was bullied in the 6th grade and told to kill myself I have 17 failed attempts. My dad abused me and my three older brothers. Both of my parents were on drugs my dad still is. My mom is 2 years clean. My 15 year old brother abuses me now but that's when ever he gets the chance. My mom also makes me feel unwanted all the time. My two 22 brothers are on drugs right now so i an't go around them but my mom is trying to get custody of my nephew. I get bullied because of my sexuality and because I wear glasses. I am a transgender biologically I am a female but I consider myself a male. If you want to talk to me I'm here. Anyways live the rest of your life to the fullest and be happy for yourself. 

Also DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!
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:iconsuperheromangagirl:
SuperheroMangaGirl Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey im kinda just getting back into deviantart becuase I forgot about it for a year, but I saw your journal and just wanted to comment on it.           -Some of these comments are really long so I’ll try to make mine as short as possible-
I know what it’s like to be really nervous about something and sad, also a lot of my friends have mental issues and I know people with chronic diseases, so I’m really sorry you have to deal with this kind of thing. My pastor has really bad cancer and he could die really any time now and the cancer has taken almost everything from him. 
Good luck and enjoy your life before you leave this Earth and go to a better place where you can be happy and healthy.
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:iconkelaaiyer:
Kelaaiyer Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
i'm really sorry you have to go through this. though i'm not going through anything myself (other than depression, anxiety, things that aren't life threatening) my grandmother has stage 4 cancer. it's rough not knowing if she's going to wake up the next day, and each time i hear her go into a coughing fit the best i can do is curl up in my bed and cry. every time that she's away at the hospital i cry myself to sleep praying to god, praying to anybody that she makes it out. i've cut myself and considered suicide way more times than i should and i feel nobody should ever have to worry about not waking up when they go to sleep that night.

i hope you live a happy life, no matter how long you live, no matter what you have, because everyone deserves to die peacefully. even if not everyone does, they deserve to. i don't know you but i hope you enjoy the years you have.
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:iconayane-miyuki:
Ayane-Miyuki Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2019  Student Artist
Tương tác ít chút thôi
Reply
:iconbengalisvengali:
BengaliSvengali Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi,
Sorry to hear about your problems. I have had years of sleep problems that turned out to be related to a condition called "suffocative sleep apnoea" - this is caused by my largish tongue falling back on the narrow wind-pipe to cause a blockage that leads to nearly suffocating of oxygen whilst asleep. Result is that you are thinking you are sleeping (but disturbed somehow) and actually your brain is sending an alarm screaming that "I am suffocating!" about a thousand times a night until you move and dislodge the tongue... but the next morning you awake with no recollection and what a hospital brain scan showed me was that my brain had NOT gone thru a proper deep sleep cycle (poss since age 16) and that left me fatigued and oxygen deprived.

As I gained weight and stopped going to the gym in my thirties- the problem became alarmingly acute - I was falling asleep mid-sentence at work.

I found out that the simple act of wearing a Mandibular Advancement mouthpiece - like a boxer's mouthguard (set in hot water) at a position that holds your jaw forward a fraction  - effectively resolved this HUGE PROBLEM that may have made my brain fuzzy for 30 years !!!

I now also have a CPAP oxygen pumping machine... this machine  makes sure air is forced into my lungs thru my nose so I never starve my brain of oxygen.

I have also suffered a constant nasal mucus blockage type syndrome. I think that that was triggered by tiny fungal mould spores that I breathed in from a mould in the damp corner of my bathroom (it had no windows). It was very difficult to get rid of - but sitting in a hot dry SAUNA can kill the spores. possibly better than steroids, anti-biotics and drugs...

On my Journals on this site I posted a huge account of my experiences and have found I returned to a pretty sporty fitness by doing regular aerobic gym work like rowing machines, and sauna and eating less... I am trying to find it but can't it is titled On Beauty And Engineering - about how having four extra big and flat front teeth triggered my tongue being pushed back in the first place...
 
I hope that you will find a cure thru keeping on trying and get a great life back... 

Don't give up!

Good luck.
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:iconkitsunelove:
kitsunelove Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2019  Student
Teacupballerina, I've had some good talks with you in the past on other sites and your art is pretty inspiring, I should tell you that doctors don't know everything. I have a neighbour who's proof of that, they've been telling him he'll pass away, every so many years, and my family perks him right up before he can feel down about it, it's been over thirty years now, we might have accidentally made him immortal.
Also cut out that negative thinking right now. You need some happy thoughts, a good diet, rest time, and some tlc. *pats* you're just sick and you'll get better soon, let me know if you need anything. 
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:iconjohngrave:
JohnGrave Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2019  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I didn't get to know you, but I admire your courage and your commitment to doing something you love, I'm so sorry that something like this happened to you, nobody deserves this, I hope you can achieve your goals and all the strenght in the world to go throught this, good luck and take care.
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:iconvoidinmyhead:
VoidInMyHead Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2019
No, thank you for spending your time on us.
This is your time now. Make the most of it.
Having a goal that you're actively working on to accomplish is more than most people ever have.
I wish the best for you.
Reply
:iconbitterpumpkin:
BitterPumpkin Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
This is my first time checking this account in a while, and I certainly didn't expect this. I'm quite literally at a loss for words.
I do want to say that you've always been an inspiration for me, and it was your artwork that made me want to try drawing toons in the first place. You'll probably always be one of my favorite artists, even if I don't practice much anymore.
Take care. I'll be wishing you the best. 
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:iconphantomlatte:
PhantomLatte Featured By Owner Edited Dec 21, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi Teacup, I'm sorry I've taken so long to write a comment here. ;-; Reading this broke my heart, I really hope you will be okay. :heart: You're a huge inspiration to me and you just seem like such an amazing person. <3 I'm wishing you the very best!~ :huggle:
I did also commission you a couple years back, but I'd honestly like you to keep the money. Again, wishing you the very best! :heart: :heart: :star:
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:iconyosuehere:
yosuehere Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
when I first saw this I really thought it was just a figment of my imagination
I'm sorry you have to go through this
your art is literally why I started a da in the first place,
there's so much personality in your drawings
and you are such a cool person
you seem very strong and your attitude towards what's happening to you seems very healthy
so best of wishes <3
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:iconteacupballerina:
teacupballerina Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :crying: :heart: I'm just going to keep going and hope I can continue to put out stuff people didn't know they wanted to see LOL
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:iconaradiamegiido:
aradiamegiido Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2018
I want to get to know you! I've been around your art for a while now and you're one of the reasons why I've started drawing again; it's just so unbelievable to believe, really, and just...I don't wanna lose hope, ya feel? I hope you know you're surrounded by many who love you.
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:iconpanur:
Panur Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2018
Be strong darling, and know your art has changed many a life, aku/bloss really held me together after a really bad breakup, as silly as it may sound. Good luck with your work <3
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:iconteacupballerina:
teacupballerina Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, it strangely helped me through some rough patches too, so I'm glad <3
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:icondollroq:
DollRoq Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said, but.. I really hope that somehow, things end up okay for you, whatever that may be. 
We've never spoken before, but I always admired your art, and who you are as a whole. I just wanted you to know that. 
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:iconmattmanganon:
mattmanganon Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2018
Best wishes to you. Just know that your art has made a lot of people very happy and, with any luck, you might be able to make a lot more people happy in the coming years.
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:iconeyugho:
eyugho Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
NOOO TEACUP PLZ LIVE.
I really hope you manage to find a way to treat it and honestly you're a really great person.
You're always so funny and you manage to make so many people smile with your art, I really REALLY hope you get better soon. You really don't deserve this horrible situation and I wish I was fate herself to make it better somehow. :iconcryforeverplz:
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:iconkisaneko19:
kisaneko19 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
heavy dude...i hope you are able to overcome and get through this thing, or at least be at peace about it.

i wish all the best for you and yours in this difficult time.
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:iconafroformer:
Afroformer Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2018
Oh, my gosh... I'm so sorry to hear that.

I wish there was something we could do for you.

I'd like to say that I appreciate your art and the humor you've put into some of your work. I haven't been an extensive visitor to your page, but you keep drawing me back in. 

I hope the next decade or so you have left is the best ever. 
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:icontendaaf:
Tendaaf Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
TEACUP NO
you’re too talented to leave us I hope things look up for you I’m prAyIng 😭
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:iconteacupballerina:
teacupballerina Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
ME 2 I'M GONNA TRY TO KEEP myself from panicking before i know whether or not it can actually be treated with ease and at length
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:icontendaaf:
Tendaaf Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
OK BUT SERIOUSLY I WISH YOU THE VERY BEST youre one of the first artists I found in the sj fandom and Id be freaking devastated if anything bad happened to you >~<
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:iconprensphobos:
PrensPhobos Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2018
I felt I had to leave a message here even though I'm a complete stranger unlike some others in the thread. When it comes to your health there isn't anything I can do. But you said you wanted to leave world something to prove you existed. Another component of this wish is to have people witness you(I'm thinking about Mad Max as I'm saying this, that's why I'm saying witness). This where I can be helpful. When you die your story is completed, not erased though. You live on others' conscious, the whole story isn't there but there are paragraphs and sentences. So I'll take a sentence or a paragraph over time. I didn't do this(talk) before, I don't know if its good. In my head it sounded wholesome, to say "I witness you". I hope I this doesn't come across wrong.
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:iconblitzwingkisses:
BlitzwingKisses Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Holy crap, dude! That sounds insane...

Well, since I have a good reason to say this, I'll say it now.

I've always admired you, and I honestly couldn't believe that we became friends and talked with each other sometimes. It makes me happy whenever I talk to you, whether it's just to catch up on stuff or check on how you're doing. Like, it's crazy to think about how long we've sorta just orbited near each other since the early days in the Samurai Jack fandom on Tumblr. It awes me to see how far you've come since then, but nothing about my opinion about you -- that you're just a really cool person and great artist, and ovreall just Really Frickin' Neat -- has changed. It makes me sad to think that you may be going away soon, but please know that even though we haven't talked a whole lot in the past few years, you've always had a space in my heart.

Thank you for being awesome, Teacup. I'll never forget you.
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:iconpath-way:
Path-Way Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Damn, I hate logging on and seeing stuff like this.
We were mutuals on Tumblr before my blog was hacked and deleted. 
I love your Samurai Jack work. 
I wish you the best. Keep creating your artwork. You are a strong person. <3
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:iconred-winged-angel:
red-winged-angel Featured By Owner Edited Dec 4, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Holy moley, Tea. This is hard to swallow. I know we may have fallen out of talking these number of years(?), aside peeks on one another's Tumblr/Twitter/Pixivs, but I still appreciate all you've to offer. It sounds so general, but I'll keep you thoughts and send you positive vibes.

Now, this isn't meant to point the attention to me, but in hopes of reassurance: I was born early with cancer and wasn't expected to walk, let alone live. Though my foot was the price to pay, I pushed through.
I hope you have the strength to push through, too, and I want to thank you for all the contributions and inspirations you've made, with more to come! ;__;/

I'd still want to talk to you more and hope all goes well. <3
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:iconyusuke96:
yusuke96 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2018
I'll keep you in my prayers and I just wanted to let you know that I have always loved your work and has been a bit of an inspiration to me because of how you don't cut corners and keep your comic so professional looking before uploading to this site. Keep with the faith and continue to be strong and live with this courage that you wrote out in this journal. Thank you for Light of Hope!
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:iconshaharaj:
shaharaj Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
...I just saw this and really don't know how to react. I'm sorry Tay. I'm sorry I kinda alienated myself, sorry we fell out of touch, sorry that this shit is happening to you and I didn't even know until reading this right now. It's been how long? Almost a decade maybe of us knowing each other. Seeing you around tumblr and all that, but never really having a good convo. I was satisfied with that. Just having you around was enough. Seeing your art and seeing that you were working hard and getting your stuff out there, that was enough for me. I'm terrified that you won't be here much longer. Always hoped one day we'd meet and just shit ourselves and draw some dumb shit like we used to do (well, still do lol). I dunno. I'm too shy on discord, lol. Here's to you, and all the time growing up with Akubloss :beer:
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:iconmad-mutt:
Mad-Mutt Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2018  Student General Artist
I don't  know what to say. It's so sad to hear this news. I hope that somehow things work out for the best for you.
I'm sorry, I'm bad at these kind of things, but I'm holding onto hope for you. 
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:iconxenoarchon:
Xenoarchon Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2018
Oh my god! This is devastating. I don't know what to say, but I will try my best. I have been following online you for a long time. When I first saw your profile years back and all the Aku stuff on it, I thought: ah, a fellow Aku fan like myself! But I never really said anything to you because of my shyness. Well now I have to say something. Thank you for being such a creative, cool, funny and intelligent person. Your passing would be a huge loss to the community here. You did bring something of value to this world, the joy and love of all who follow you here and elsewhere. Don't forget that. Thank you!
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:icontyphoon-manga:
Typhoon-Manga Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2018  Professional Artist
I know we have never really conversed but I do want to take a moment to say thank you for all the inspiration you have spread throughout your time here on DeviantArt. I was floored when I found your profile and surprised that I hadn't seen your stuff sooner than I had. I am hoping for the best outcome for you, being around the same age I can only imagine how scary it is to be faced with this all of a sudden. Wishing for the best that it isn't too late despite you showing symptoms in highschool. You never know if there could be a miracle and the doctors were wrong about everything, at least I would hope for that. 

As for now I hope that you will be able to live life to the fullest, see the sights that you've always wanted to see and more. You deserve to be happy and to do what makes you happy ♥
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:iconflamefatalis:
FlameFatalis Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh man, Teacup, that really sucks.  Sending lots of good vibes your way--hope you feel better. :(
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:iconteacupballerina:
teacupballerina Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much <3
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:iconbeefity:
Beefity Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2018
Hey man sending all the love and support to you. There isn't much I can really say or do but if you can think of anything I can do for you just let me know. I've loved watching you and your skills grow over the years. 
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:iconteacupballerina:
teacupballerina Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, same to you ;u; It's crazy how long I've known some people on here! I found some of your old art on a computer I hadn't touched for about seven years! :D It's a little mindblowing to think about!
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:iconbeefity:
Beefity Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2018
Right! Even though I don't super produce art anymore I still have like stuff you've done and my silly drawings of you and Day I did back then. =P (Razz) 
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:iconandreac:
ANDREAc Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2018   Digital Artist
TAYLOR. You had literally crossed my mind earlier in the week at random- I ended up thinking back on some of our earlier memories together as nostalgia hit (someone recently commented on my profile that they missed seeing my Jack O'Lantern/Demongo works, and looking through my gallery, I came across some of the collabs we did and artwork I had drawn that was inspired by you) I didn't know what to expect when reading this journal, but it hits pretty hard. As you stated yourself, life is too short. As the years pass by, and as people come and go in our lives, it's easier to see what some take for granted on a daily basis. It's a lesson we've all got to learn one way or another, I suppose. There have been friends from the past I follow, and I think to myself how nice it would be to catch up with them again. I'm thankful I've been able to do just that with Alex, but you've been a person I've been meaning to check in on for some time. I don't know what held me back? I think I became strangely shy- like, I've seen so many people move on to bigger and better things- and while I may not interact, I watch and support however I can in the background. I can't tell you how incredible it is to see how your art has developed (you were always a great artist! it amazes me how people can get an art style down to a T, as I've never been able to manage that myself) Thinking back on the earlier years on DeviantART, I can't help but smile and laugh at the memories we shared. I swear, I giggle when I look back at comments we've exchanged, PLZ accounts we've created, I could go on, BUT YOU KNOW THE GOOD STUFF. I'll never forget how happy I had felt to make a friend like you, when I obsessed over Demongo (i still do, but keep it lowkey nowadays lol) YOU were the one other person here who could click with me- in the sense you loved a character so much, wanted to show that love to the world, and didn't care how crazy other people thought it was. FOR THE LOVE OF AKU, THE CRACK PAIRINGS THAT CAME OUT OF OUR CONVERSATIONS. I laughed. God, I love that we could share that together. Nobody can take that away, you know? It's always going to be something special to me, and I'm so thankful to have had the chance to know someone like you. Even though we don't talk nearly as much anymore, you mean a great deal to me, and I want you to know that. I was stoked to see you started playing Fusion Fall, too (my computer ended up crashing around the same time, so I haven't gone out of my way to try and play it) but a whole bunch of kids have been leaving comments lately about their experiences and- it kinds feels like those days way back when. The SJ fanbase had been tiny, but it has grown so much since then. We've got a legacy! YOU MORESO, because you keep the love of AKU going STRONG! I always love seeing what new works you come up with, and what stories you create that revolve around him. Damn, this is already long enough as it is, but there's a lot more I'd like to say. No matter how much time you've got left, I'd love if we could do something to reconnect? Heck, I'd suggest a collab but I want you to focus on your projects. I'd be content with a chat for old time's sake! :heart: You're in my thoughts, Taylor. :heart: 
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:iconrealscared:
RealScared Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey, that must be terrible and I'm so sorry to hear that. Nobody deserves to go through that, and I hope this isn't mean at all, but I really do hope you make it to 25. 

I was also wondering whether you're aware that one of the Pokemon ships you (used to?) ship is pedophilia (Sapphire and Maxie). I'm sorry if that also sounds mean or rude in any way, I don't mean any ill will. 
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:iconteacupballerina:
teacupballerina Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Me too ^^; The alternative is just too sad!

I still ship redorbshipping but I interpret May as an adult (18-23) because that's how I played the games and I used my own experiences playing Omega Ruby to write my headcanons for her. As someone who is routinely mistaken for 16 despite being 24 I felt like adding that angle to her character would be funny. The player characters, outside of the manga, are whoever you want them to be really :B
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:icondogsmilez:
DogSmilez Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow this choked me up a lot reading this Teacup.
I've been struggling to type up words, most individuals I watch
I' haven't engaged with often but I really enjoyed your ppgs comic,
and drawings. It encouraged me to draw some funny pictures from
Samurai Jack season 5. :D 

I have you in my prayers, and hope you fight this. I never want to stay on the bad side of things like this, its impossible to out rule anything, but I believe you'll make it through this, and you live long enough to finish World of Light and more. Verne Troyer who played Mini-Me wasn't suppose to live past his teen years, yet he lived to see 50. They're are many others like him, and lived well past their conditions. Stay positive and don't let this stop your drive.

I believe in medicine, you'll get that treatment and I believe you'll live to see 50 or even 60. A dreading will, will make your mind and body worse. You're still alive and you're still here, live everyday like you would and keep those who care about you near you. We all care about your well being as well, and I'm proud you took the courage to write this out for us. :D  

It would've been so easy to never mention this at all, but I'm happy you did. We may  be across the world but our love for art, and cartoons, and as humans will keep us connected forever. I wish you the very best Teacup, and I'm hopeful you live pass any life expectancy of this condition. Don't stay in this dark space, keep moving forward. :D Huggle!Heart 
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:iconteacupballerina:
teacupballerina Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!! I'm glad you liked my art and I'm going to try to stay positive and see what kind of treatments there could be. I don't want to leave this planet before I've finished certain things, I know that no one can ever know what tomorrow holds and I could die of something completely unrelated at any time, but I did just want to let people know what was going on. Thank you again for being so positive, it helps me think that way too! 
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:icondogsmilez:
DogSmilez Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh you're very welcome Teacup! I'm very glad to hear you
in good spirits. Exactly my friend, anything could happen and its all
undetermined, but all its not lost and the fact that your still here
means your time is still important and your life is still worth living.
Keep moving with your goals, I believe you'll accomplish them. :D

I'm relieved its helped. The last thing I want you to feel is hopelessness.
Many others and I on dA care, and are rooting for your well being, I hope
that still continues to illuminate your spirit, and brings more positivity
your way. ^^ Hug  
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:iconakikkakikka:
AKikkaKikka Featured By Owner Edited Dec 2, 2018
As an introvert with self-steem issues, your "Always remember" was the second hard blow I got reading your journal entry. This said, about the prime, brutal, first one... I resent that English is not my mother language because then I would fluidly be able to write what reading about your situation spontaneously put in my head. 

I am sorry that I met you so late in your DA journey. I will be checking, and being thankful about what you're able to post from now on. I remember, though, that yours was the first piece of art that I favourited here, and you were first one I watched, if it means something. You are a light and the world doesn't seem worthy when it loses a light, those who remain just have to go on with the knowledge that it used to be brighter. So, I will cross fingers for all the luck of the world for you! 

:(
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:iconteacupballerina:
teacupballerina Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
It's not over for a while yet hopefully, so I will strive to continue doing the things that have brought you joy. :) Also I would never have guessed that English isn't your first language, you speak it better than a lot of people I know!
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:iconakikkakikka:
AKikkaKikka Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2018
Ow, thanks! 

I know... I noticed that I might be readen more pessimistic that I intended. I guess it's also because of my current mood. My bad. 

Let me make a joke that I usually do with some of my nerds friends: "I will sacrifice hundred virgins in the top of a volcano to auspice x (your recovery)!" The joke is that the only answer is: "100 virgins? Aren't those really hard to get these days?" And my reply would be: "That's how hard I wish you to get it!"
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:iconminidangosakurasushi:
I may not know you, but it sucks that talented people like you have to suffer...
I hope you'll get better soon.

Stay strong and achieve your goal.
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:iconteacupballerina:
teacupballerina Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, I will try! <3
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:iconminidangosakurasushi:
MiniDangoSakuraSushi Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2018
Good.
And no prob.
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:icontechytechy:
TechyTechy Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
God. I knew you since I was like, 12 or 14? Around that time?

I can't believe that so much time has passed by since then, almost ten years or so. I don't even remember how I found you honestly. Maybe it was fanfiction(dot)net that later led to deviantart, or I think I found you here through some writers that also knew you. I still think of you from your old username too, this is so surreal.

I hope you know that you've been a huge inspiration to me since, it feels like forever. Loved your art, loved seeing any little doodle you had, God I fucking loved reading your old anime akubloss comics, lmao. There's a big part of me that's hoping it somehow gets better for you. I've been afraid of loss for a while now because of some things that happened to my mom recently, so I have to admit that I'm automatically in that mindset of, maybe things will turn out okay.

I really don't know what to say or how to end this comment. Like we barely EVER talked, just very rare commenting on each other's things.

I really loved showing your art to my friends in middle school and high school, just to see their reactions and awe of how strange it was to them but also really good. Your art is really good! 

You're incredible.
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